Is it time to stop the madness? or at least dial it down?

[@llli*mommal]

I think that if you had hypoplasia, you never would have had a baby who gained >1 oz per day. Nor would you be able to pump 12-15 oz per day. Did you ever take a look at the Shape of a Mother website (http://theshapeofamother.com)? I like it because it shows a nice sample of the various types of bodies and breasts that do their jobs just fine despite not being the "perfect" shape.

I don't know anything about the heritability of adrenaline and oxytocin levels. But you know what we definitely do get from our families? Anxiety. If you are raised by a parent who is a stressed, anxious person, there's a good chance you'll be similar.

[@llli*vivsmaman]

Oy! Bad pediatrician! Bad tendency toward anxiety! Mama, it is amazing and wonderful that you're still nursing. I hardly check the page or post as my 24 month old and I are pretty happily still nursing but your thread really touched me.

We struggled from the outset in part because I was convinced my one working breast wouldn't be enough, looking at my chest while nursing brought a flood of cancer emotions, and a very good friend I had met in a support group, the woman who threw my baby shower, was dying. I venture to say that my anxiety definitely contributed to what is already a really trying time in a new mom's life.

Gradually, letting baby nurse and having a breast that was perfectly adept at doing what it was meant to do -- grow her -- helped me gain control over my own fears and to eventually feel good about my body, warts and all.

You've nursed this long, you've nursed this far, and baby is now a toddler. You did that. You did that together. You are doing great. Knowing that will probably going a long way toward helping with baby 2. But there's no shame in getting a little extra help. Therapy sounds like something that would help a lot. I know a few people who have turned to 'cognitive behavioral therapy' for help with discrete issues (like insomnia or anxiety in specific situations). Might be worth checking out.

[@llli*garsmum]

Hey there! I am actually a mental health therapist and social worker and I too struggled with the anxiety about milk. Mine was around making enough but I think it affected let down. I have odd breasts in that I don't think I've ever felt a let down, maybe a few times but I just learned to go by the sound of DS drinking, I've never spontaneously let down or leaked, and it seems like let down is now almost immediate (my son starts drinking about 5 seconds after he latches on). I have had and still experience anxiety however (not just nervousness but actually chronic worry, panic attacks, and recently diagnosed with post partum anxiety), and I can say that the PP is right, your anxiety about not letting down is reinforcing the anxiety. Even more than that, the "not wanting" of the anxiety is causing the anxiety to become more ingrained. Look into mindfulness, it is absolutely helpful, even more so that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy IMO. I took a class on mindfulness based stress reduction and it was fantastic.

[@llli*fezlie]

I can't say how wonderful it is to feel the support and empathy here. I felt very "abnormal" and alone a lot of the time and I am taking steps to find a good therapist who can help guide me towards dealing with my anxiety. I definitely appreciate all the good tips and ideas. I have already learned more about myself int he past 16 months than I have my entire life...and now I am realizing the journey is just beginning. It is so scary, because you just wonder how much a soul can bear... but all mothers must walk through the fire I guess, and there is no turning back now, right? Here we go!