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Thread: Working 3rd Shift

  1. #1

    Default Working 3rd Shift

    I work three 12 hour shifts on 3rd shift. My husband stays home with our daughter at night while I work. At first it worked out just fine. She's 5 months old now and probably within the past month things have gotten a lot harder. She cries and cries for my husband in the evening, and he has a hard time getting her to fall asleep. On my days off we generally follow a nightly routine. Bath, nursing, story then bed. She still wakes frequently during the night but I see that as a way to keep my supply up since I don't get to nurse her as often on the days that I work.

    I don't know if part of the problem is she's used to our routine and doesn't like not being able to nurse before bed. I mean he gives her a bottle. I also don't think he tries very hard to stick to the same routine that we always do. He has a preconceived idea that she should be sleeping through the night by now too. Everyone gives us their opinions but it's usually things like I spoil her by holding her too much, I shouldn't let her fall asleep nursing, we should let her cry....etc etc

    I know it would be a lot better if I got to be home every night. I also would co-sleep if I was home every night. But there just aren't many other options for my job right now. Does anyone else have this same problem? I want this time to be as stress free for my husband and our little baby as possible. I just don't know what to do to help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    620

    Default Re: Working 3rd Shift

    First off, I want to reassure you that it's perfectly normal for your 5-month old to still be waking up at night, and you cannot spoil a baby by 'holding her too much' or by responding to her needs when she can't for herself. That's your job as parents! So feel free to ignore those opinions...

    I also work midnight shifts (only 8s though), but I was lucky that I didn't go back to work till my DD was a year, and only part time for a year so it's not as many shifts. I cannot imagine my husband being able to cope with my DD alone at night when she was 5 months old. She still woke up very frequently at that point in time to nurse. He had some rough nights with her when she was 13 or 14 months! So I think it's to be expected that there is going to be some fussing without you there. I think following your established bedtime routine is a good place to start. Also, do you have a baby carrier at all? I used to sometimes put my DD in the Ergo and bounce on one of those exercise balls in a dark room - that usually did the trick on those nights when she wouldn't go to sleep nursing. Have you ruled out any physical reasons for the increased crying, such as teething or an ear infection?

    Good luck, mama. I hope things get more peaceful soon!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Working 3rd Shift

    Sorry I don't have nothing helpful to say but I am sending good thoughts your way. My in-laws get R during her fussy evening time and I feel awful. Hubby works nights and being home alone at night is tough enough for me and I have boobs to soothe her with . We all do what we have to do and as much as it sucks sometimes I believe they will thank us someday.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Working 3rd Shift

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*carm3 View Post
    First off, I want to reassure you that it's perfectly normal for your 5-month old to still be waking up at night, and you cannot spoil a baby by 'holding her too much' or by responding to her needs when she can't for herself. That's your job as parents! So feel free to ignore those opinions...

    I also work midnight shifts (only 8s though), but I was lucky that I didn't go back to work till my DD was a year, and only part time for a year so it's not as many shifts. I cannot imagine my husband being able to cope with my DD alone at night when she was 5 months old. She still woke up very frequently at that point in time to nurse. He had some rough nights with her when she was 13 or 14 months! So I think it's to be expected that there is going to be some fussing without you there. I think following your established bedtime routine is a good place to start. Also, do you have a baby carrier at all? I used to sometimes put my DD in the Ergo and bounce on one of those exercise balls in a dark room - that usually did the trick on those nights when she wouldn't go to sleep nursing. Have you ruled out any physical reasons for the increased crying, such as teething or an ear infection?

    Good luck, mama. I hope things get more peaceful soon!
    Thank you! I know I need to stop listening to every little thing that gets put in my ear! I so wish I could have been off longer that 12 weeks. Or even that I could work 8 hour shifts. I love my job and my days (I generally work Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights) We could afford for me to stay home. But I don't know if I want to stay home all the time once she gets a little older. And my line of work its hard once you give up your hours or your shift to get back in. We do have a ring sling and I use that quite frequently to get her to fall asleep. I should try an exercise ball. My husband doesn't quite understand that she needs quiet and dimmed lights to fall asleep at this stage. She's very inquisitive and wants to know every little thing that's going on. Thank you for your input! I'm going to make an appointment this week to take her to pediatrician just to see. I do think she is teething right now.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Working 3rd Shift

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*avesnovuelan View Post
    Sorry I don't have nothing helpful to say but I am sending good thoughts your way. My in-laws get R during her fussy evening time and I feel awful. Hubby works nights and being home alone at night is tough enough for me and I have boobs to soothe her with . We all do what we have to do and as much as it sucks sometimes I believe they will thank us someday.
    Thank you! I know I shouldn't even be thinking about this yet. But I want another baby...someday. But after all of this my husband says no way...only one. I hope he forgets about these rough patches. But maybe by then I'll work a better shift and he won't be left alone at night.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Working 3rd Shift

    Off topic but did I really write "I don't have nothing?" I must be more sleep deprived than I realized.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Working 3rd Shift

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*avesnovuelan View Post
    Off topic but did I really write "I don't have nothing?" I must be more sleep deprived than I realized.
    That's ok! I didn't even notice.

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