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Thread: explaining to dd

  1. #1
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    Mar 2006
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    Default explaining to dd

    Well weaning is actually going well these days... toyed with the idea a few times half-heartedly around age one and again at age two. At 2.5 I just toyed with it again and surprized myself with success. We're down to before bed, 6am and nap time. Thing is, these are clear and easy times for dd to wait for. ("You can't nurse now, but you can can at nap time." "You need to get ready for bed before we nurse." "Not till daddy's alarm clock goes off in the morning. Go back to sleep.") Now I'm down to a clear elimination and she's got a good memory. I actually discussed it with her and we are in agreement that the next one to go will be bedtime. It will be a while before we tackle that one because she's getting used to a new bed right now, but it is less important to her than the nap and wake up nursing. She's cool as can be when we talk about it at neutral times, but when it really happens, I'm worried she's going to balk and see it as a loss. My actual reason isn't going to fly with her: she's on a roll with weaning and I want to keep the progress going before we run into some developmental milestone or fever or big change or whatever else tends to set us back with weaning. So how would you explain it to a two year old? Any good ideas for a trade? Like ice cream instead of nursing at bedtime?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: explaining to dd

    bed time with one of my older ones we just read stories and I didn't lay down on the bed with him only sit beside. that was the last of his nursing to go.
    He was about 29 months old. My nursling now is my dd who is 3.. I have even thought about getting pg so she will quit on her own. lol...
    I know not a good reason to have another baby, but I know it would work.
    I don't know if I would try and bribe her with the ice cream, she could eat it and then still want to nurse. Talking about it should help.
    They do have a weaning book in the llll cataloge for older toddlers.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: explaining to dd

    here's a link to the book
    http://store.llli.org/books/product/74

  4. #4
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    Default Re: explaining to dd

    I've thought about getting that book, but Maggie gets a baby sister in the end... and dd wants me to have a baby ("lots of babies") and I don't, so I don't want her to think that weaning will get her a baby.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2006
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    Default Re: explaining to dd

    How about replacing the bedtime nursing with a back rub and/or lullaby? Or, rocking for a bit in a rocking chair--something else that provides cuddle time with mom but without nursing. Another option that some people use is to switch bedtime to dad's arena. If "Maggie's Weaning" doesn't have an appropriate storyline for you, you could try writing your own weaning book. I did this for night weaning with my DS. I put pictures of him in it, and we read it each night before bed.

  6. #6
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: explaining to dd

    Since you've already discussed it, why not set a date? Every day for a week, let's say, you'll talk to your DD and tell her that "on X-day, there'll be no more night-nights nurse, but remember, we'll do X instead". Some of the PPs had great ideas--a cool book, a comforting low key activity, or maybe she has her eye on a toy (our little consumers!) you could reward her with....

    Lisa

  7. #7
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    Default Re: explaining to dd

    All these responses are helpful. Thank you. We are actually already doing the back rub for bedtime. I do not nurse her in bed. I have her get ready for bed, nurse her, then bring her to bed, read or tell stories, give her a back or foot rub, then, depending on how needy she is that night, either sit at the foot of her bed, hold her hand or snuggle her to sleep. Its just that when she asks to nurse after nap, the answer, "you can't nurse now, but you can nurse tomorrow morning," doesn't work like, " you can nurse at bedtime," ya know? She looks forward to those three times she finally gets to nurse. She DOES use nursing to get to sleep at nap time and that's why I'm not taking that one yet (we both need it!) and she's cried when I've suggested dropping the morning one. But she's OK with getting rid of the bedtime one next. It just seems like SO LONG between nap and morning. When having her breastfeeding restricted, she's always been comforted when told when the next time she could nurse will be. But you all are helping me figure out other ways to comfort her.

    The rewards don't work with her. She seems to see any incentives as bribes and digs in her heals when they are offered that way (like she's saying, I will NOT be manipulated!)... but when it seems more like a TRADE, it works sometimes...

    Anyway, thanks for listening.

  8. #8
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    Mar 2006
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    Default update

    Wow, she's doing great. I just told her stories about weaning (my own version of Maggie's Weaning) and explained how we will drop one nursing at a time. Then we tried dropping the after nap nursing (which disappeared but came back). It went horribly. Then I told her to choose. She chose the one before bed. And was completely successful. Then she had to choose another one and chose the after nap nursies. Success again! She's cruising. Two more to go and she's excited about a weaning party and is feeling like a big girl. And she says it would be silly to still be nursing on Christmas. Does she know how close Christmas is?! I'm not ready to be done by Christmas!!! I did get her Maggie's Weaning yesterday. I have Daddy read it to her so if the pictures give her some cravings (New Beginnings magazines have that effect) I won't be sitting right there. I'm pleased with the book. It doesn't really make it look like you get a baby sister for weaning, which is what I was worried about. She really likes hearing exactly how Maggie did it day by day: my story goes, "... the next few days she only nursed in the morning, before nap, after nap and before bed. Then she dropped another nursing and did ___. Then she only nursed...." Its a very boring story but it seems to give her inspiration. Guess it's like potty training: giving her some control over it and making it a mutual goal has made a world of difference. Only I don't think I'll ever miss diapers in quite the same way.

    Anyway, thanks for reading.

    Julie

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