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Thread: Going back to work..need support

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    92

    Default Going back to work..need support

    My DS was born Aug. 24 at 32 weeks gestation. He was due Oct. 15. I work in the school system and my plan was to take off Oct. when he came then go back after Christmas break on Jan. Since he came early I had an extra 2 months off to be with him which has been wonderful. My problem is with my first son (who's now 9) I didn't BF very long and never had this strong connection with him. With my new DS I pumped the 3 weeks he was in the NICU and we've been BF exclusively since shortly after he came home. I don't have to tell the other BFing moms what an amazingly strong connection BFing allows you to have with your LO. He depends on me all day everyday and he is upset if he's away from me too long. We worked so hard to get the hang of BFing after his hospital stay that I feel like I'm just throwing it all away by going back to work. I am feeling so guilty for going back and I guess I just need some support. It breaks my heart knowing that he will be getting a bottle all day and not me. What if he cries for me and needs me and I'm not there? I had no idea it was going to be this hard. If anyone has advice on how to get through this I would love to hear it. Or any brilliant ideas on how to make a good living from home Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,712

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    Poor Mama. You sound heartbroken. I do understand what you mean. I have a seven year old son that I did not bf very long either. I left him while I worked and don't remember feeling as bad as do now even if my DD is in the next room. I don't know if I was just younger or if there are horomones linked to breastfeeding that make the seperation worse or what. It's hard, but if you have to return, your little one will get used to it, and you'll probably be able to nurse at night.

    As for working at home, there are lots of jobs you can do. What are your interests, skills, education?

    Good luck. and again Remember it wasn't for nothing. Your little one is receiving many benefits from a job well done by you!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    Working outside the home and BFing can be a positive experience. It has worked for me, although I totally understand feeling upset about it at first. Things you should be thinking about (unless you find a great WAHM job!):
    (1) finding good child care that will support your BFing relationship;
    (2) building up a stash of pumped milk; and
    (3) working out pumping arrangements in your workplace ahead of time.

    BFing at the end of a workday is the most wonderful way to bond with your LO when you have been apart, believe me!
    Good luck!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    29

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    I feel your pain. I too work in a school, had my son June 5 and enjoyed the summer with him, getting the breastfeeding thing down solid. I was worried that he'd refuse to nurse, not like me as much as grandpa (his babysitter) etc. After a few weeks, rational thought took over and I calmed down as I realized a few things:

    -he still loves to nurse and prefers me to the bottle
    -I have my dad as daycare, this will give them a unique bond and I have no worries
    -I worked very hard for my degree, in just a few short years, DS will be in school (with me!) and I'll be glad that I didn't give it all up to stay at home because I do love my job.
    -I'm the momma, there's no substitute for that!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    29

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    Oh yeah, schools are very good places to pump! I simply lock the door, draw the shades and relax for a few minutes. I also let my adminstrators know so that if they see my door closed, it means to leave me alone, it's been a very peaceful year!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    92

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    Thank you all so much for the encouragement! Yes my school is very condusive to pumping. I have time and a place to pump during the day. My mother-in-law will be watching DS so I feel good about that. It's just, as I know you all unserstand, the thought of leaving him is overwhelming right now. I know it will work out and we will both be ok in the long run. I just have to come to terms with it. I have a feeling it will be harder on me than on him. Thanks again for the kind words. My heart goes out to all the working moms.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    176

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    I teach also, and wanted to offer my support. My DS was born in late April so I was very lucky to spend months w/ him.(He was also a few weeks early.) Unfortunately, I had to spend the whole time trying to get him to nurse, which he never got the hang of, so I pump for him. When I went back to work in Aug I couldn't talk I was crying so much (thank goodness it was a teacher's day w/ no kids). Things do improve, although they're still hard. My DS is w/ my mom, who adores him. I try to focus on the fact that they'll be good for each other. It is tough. At least you know when you go back, you won't have a full year in front of you, just 5 or 6 months until summer. Good luck!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    751

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    I went back to work when my DD was 5 weeks. Although I kept her with me for the first 3 weeks and she went to daycare at 2 months.

    I have my momments where I miss her terribly, but I love my job.

    I have also had great luck pumping. I send my LO with about 10-11 ounces of EBM every day. She has worked herself into a reverse cycle because she prefers nursing, not bottles. She is in an in-home day care which supports breastfeeding. I will say that we nurse about as soon as we walk in the door at the end of the day.

    And - I totally agree with ZMOM. YOU'RE the MOMMY!!! Your LO will alway want and need you

    Hang in there, you can do it!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    I am right there with you! I have to go back to work on Jan 2 as well. I am dreading the thought of leaving my daughter with the sitter. I am worried she will want me and I won't be there. I have a professional degree, I love my work, and I don't think I would do well as a SAHM. That being said, this is the first child I've ever breastfed and I had no idea how stronly I would feel about being with her. I am going to have a really, really hard time being away. My mom watched her for the first time last Saturday and she screamed for 2.5 hours. Straight. I think she's going to have a hard time too. Now I'm working on getting her into a routine with naps by herself in her crib. We just set up the crib this last weekend. Until now, she had been sleeping with us and I would hold her during the day. We are still doing to co-sleep at night, but during the day I'm trying to exclusively put her in her crib.

    I hope this works out! Good luck to you!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    23

    Default Re: Going back to work..need support

    I've been back at work for 6 months. I still have that strong BF relationship with my son. It doesn't bother me that he gets a bottle, though he does prefer the breast. So he tends to nurse more and only take two bottles during the day.

    My son is laid back though, and not bothered my much.

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