Re: Too much going on! I feel resentment towards my son
Aww, mama, you sound so stressed and sad! I'm sorry you're going through this rough patch. Like you said, this is totally typical 2 year-old behavior, but that doesn't mean it's fun to deal with.
Are you thinking that weaning would improve your toddler's behavior? Because if you are... It probably won't. It's just going to be another thing to battle over. If you feel at all on the fence about nursing, I would really encourage you to continue because a) 2 years is very young for self-weaning, b) nursing is a source of security and connection and is probably a really valuable mothering tool right now, and c) your baby will diminish his reliance on nursing if you just give him time.
What I would encourage you to do is to set limits on nursing. Continue to encourage him to use his manners- that "nurse please" thing is actually wonderful training for him. The more he gets the picture that nice manners are the way to get what he wants, the better. It will extend to other areas in his life.
Also, it's okay to place time limits on nursing, in order to make it more tolerable for you. For example, you can night-wean. Make a rule that nursing only happens when the sun is up. You can make daytime sessions short- I used to allow my kids to nurse until I counted to 10 or until I finished singing "Twinkle twinkle". You can tell him to stop nursing if it's hurting you.
When you're setting limits, you can expect some pushback. He may cry like his little heart is breaking, or throw a massive temper tantrum. But that doesn't mean you need to give in and nurse. As long as you are compassionately handling the problem, explaining and comforting as best you can, you're still giving your toddler what he needs. He might not be getting his favorite form of comfort, but he's still being parented in a loving way.
Finally, there's no good answer to the "how long are you supposed to nurse?" question. For some moms, a few days or weeks of nursing is all they can handle. Some moms are comfortable nursing for years and years. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a 1 year minimum, with breastfeeding continuing as long thereafter as "mutually desired" by mother and child. The World Health Organization recommends a 2 year minimum, and as long thereafter as mutually desirable. Anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler suggests that a truly natural age of weaning would fall somewhere between 2 and 7 years, based on the weaning ages of other primates.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"