I have also had major problems with let-down and I also chug water right before I nurse. The other thing that has REALLY helped me is nipple stimulation. I didn't think it would do anything for me, as i have very insensitive nipples and never felt much with any sort of nipple stimulation, but if I stimulate the opposite nipple with my fingers over my top (skin to skin doesn't work for me), while DS is nursing on the other side, it really helps. yes, I also try to think of things that give me joy: my honeymoon, my partner, a nice moment from the day before, or I just tell myself what a great job I am doing and that it's not about the milk, it's about the MOMMY.
That being said, we ALWAYS nurse in the same place, at about the same times, in a dark room with no distractions. It is my safe, happy place and I can get a LD there reliably. Has anyone ever tried the oxytocin nasal spray? i know it apparently doesn't really work, but I've always wondered. never spoken to anyone who actually tried it.