Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

  1. #1

    Default HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    I have an akmost 3-month old baby boy who would not nurse. He stared with a bad latch at the hospital which supposedly was corrected. Yet, by 2 weeks of age he was still 9 ounces below his birth weight and was put on full supplementation, first via syringe, then with bottle. i have been feeding him pumped milk ever since and have been desparatelt trying to get him back to breast. But nothing is working. I sought out a pediatric practise that is focussed exclusively on breastfeeding and have been working with them for months - love them, but no result.

    Noone ever figured out why he was not nursing properly and ended up on such a low weight gain track initially. During the first two weeks, I had multiple appointments with a LC, we observed him, he latched on fine, suckes, swallowed, we weighed him, befoee and after and every time he seemed ro be fine, not so much at home, where I always felt, he was not nursing properly.

    Once the decision was made to supplement with bottle - well, supplement is not the right word as he was only feeding from the bottle - he quickly started gaining weight, however, the oediatrician told me, he would not get back to the breast until he gets back to his normal weight curve. Which took him 6 weeks. Meanwhile I tried to put him on the reast, he would not have it.

    At 8 weeks, he seemed to be latching and taking a few sips. But never consistently. Then he hit a rough, xranky period, with crying almost all day, every day, no hope for nursing practise. He continued to thrive on pumped milk. Now, at 12 weeks, he seems to be calming down, so I again tried the breast. No luck.

    What shall i do? I would still want him to nurse. But he just would not. Don't understand why. No, he has no tongue tie, no physical problems. He is almost 13 pounds, healthy, i have two older boys, I nursed both until age 3 and 3.5 respectively. No issues with the first one, tongue tie with the second that got corrected at age 2 weeks. What is wrong with us now? Any suggestions? Any success stories to share? I need help!!! Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,799

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Welcome to the forum!

    It sounds like the issue here is the dreaded nipple confusion, where baby has come to expect his food to be delivered via bottle and is resistant to getting it any other way. The tips in this link may help: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/. In particular, the skin-to-skin contact and instant reward technique may induce your baby to nurse. The key to getting a baby back to the breast is patience and persistence, and even then, well... There are no guarantees. There are moms who have gotten their babies back to the breast after months of not nursing, and also babies who never go back to the breast.

    ETA: How is pumping going? I know it's terribly time-consuming, so maybe we can suggest some ways to make it easier? That would free up more time for trying to get baby back to nursing.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Thank you for your response.

    I understand the idea of nipple confusion... But what bothers me is that this is our third of fourth attempt at getting to the breast - not really back, since he was never really reliable at breast . On all of these occasions, failure has been attributed to different things: bad latch, low weight now the bottle. I just feel like that there must be a deeper, different reason why he fails at this. He ggets on the breast - or used to, now not any mor really - suck twice or three times and I feel like, yeah, now he got it, then he turns away in almost disgust. I feel so defeated and feel like I have no bond whatsoever with this baby. He feels distant to me.

    Pumping - it used to be Ok, not struggling. Used to get 40-50 ounces per day, pumping 10 times. Night pumps yielded up to 8-10 ounces on some occasions, daytime pumps 3-5 or even 6 sometimes. Late mornings are the worst time for my supply. Now really struggling for the last couple of days, getting the same amount takes so much longer than before, feel like drying up. Have not changed a thing, using the same schedule, same pump - had to repllace a few parts as they were failing, hindering my pumping. Can hardly do double-pump any more, have to do compression continuiusly especially on my right breast to get anything out. Pumping takes forever. Ready to give up. Have a few hundred ounces in the freezer, will use that up and then switch to formula. Unless i get some help, encouragement, positive stories, i feel like I tried everything. Have read everything I found, have seen a total of four professionals, three LCs and one pediatrician - who is also an LC - specialized in this, have weekly appointment eith the latter, but everything is just getting worse.

    Why would my baby not nurse? Why didn't he at 2 weeks? Why didn't he at 8 weeks? Now? Pediatrician says she has seen babies start nursing at 4 months, 5, even 10. But i cannot do this much longer. I will also have to go back to work in April, will not be able to keep up the pumping, hate that, too, just keeps me away from my baby.


    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Welcome to the forum!

    It sounds like the issue here is the dreaded nipple confusion, where baby has come to expect his food to be delivered via bottle and is resistant to getting it any other way. The tips in this link may help: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/. In particular, the skin-to-skin contact and instant reward technique may induce your baby to nurse. The key to getting a baby back to the breast is patience and persistence, and even then, well... There are no guarantees. There are moms who have gotten their babies back to the breast after months of not nursing, and also babies who never go back to the breast.

    ETA: How is pumping going? I know it's terribly time-consuming, so maybe we can suggest some ways to make it easier? That would free up more time for trying to get baby back to nursing.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,799

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    I don't think you need to look for a deeper reason for his difficulty with nursing than the fact that he's 3 months old and he has never gotten much practice at it or much reward from it when he has done it. Babies can be quite picky about how they are fed, and they're smart, too. Your baby is offered the breast and he's probably thinking "Oh, this again. Don't know why mom is so insistent about it. It's so frustrating for me, and I am HUNGRY! Well, I'll do a token suck and see if she'll give in and feed me a bottle afterwards."

    If you decide that you have had it with trying to get your baby to nurse, that is okay. No-one can say for sure whether or not your baby will ever go back to the breast, and considering the effort involved in trying to get him there... Only you know if the cost is worth the potential payoff.

    What sort of pump are you using? You're exclusively pumping and IMO that means you should be using either a hospital-grade rental or a really excellent double electric pump (e.g. Medela Pump In Style, Hygeia Enjoye) with correctly sized shields. If your pump has failed on you once, and pumping is taking forever, it might be a good idea to trade up for a better machine and experiment with different sizes of shields. Increasing your number of pumping sessions is also a good way to get more milk, but I know that 'a not always possible or preferable- as you said, it keeps you from your baby!

    One thing to remember, when it comes to pumping, is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Pump what you can, and if you start falling short, well, that's what formula or donated milk is for. Any amount you can provide is good for your health and for your baby's.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Someone correct me if I am wrong but 40-50 ounces/day sounds like oversupply, when the average babe eats about 25? So maybe your body is just regulating the supply and you are producing a more normal amount? You didn't say how much you are getting now.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    rockford,il
    Posts
    572

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Hi mama. First, kudos to you for making it to three months exclusive pumping! My son didn't latch until 3 weeks and i was ready to throw in the towel. And you have the older children to take care of too! Only you can decide how much more you can do. Just always remember you're an amazing mom no matter how you feed him.
    I'm curious since you didn't mention them if a nipple shield or SNS system has been tried yet? I agree that your pump output sounds way above average and is likely regulating normally.

  7. #7

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Thank you all, for your responses.

    I am using the medela symphony, hospital grade, rental. Have tried all shield sizes from M up, still not quite sure which one works best, seems to depend on the day. As I am pumping 10 times a day, i don't think i can increase the frequency.

    I worked on my supply because while he was catching up, he drank up to 40 ounces, sometimes he still does. I don't understand why my supply seems to be dwindling and it is scary. Any ideas, suggestions? It should not regulate down, what if I had twins, my body cannot possibly know why i was needing 40-50.

    Yes, we tried the SNS, nipple shield, everything.PP, how did you get your LO to latch at 3 weeks? What made the trick? And why didn't it work before? I feel so helples and just totally exhausted.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,799

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Average intake for a breastfed baby is 19-30 oz per day (reference: http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/). The fact that your baby can take up to 40 oz suggests that he's being overfed. This is something which is extremely easy to do when using a bottle- trust me, I know from experience! Even the most sensitive bottle-feeding parent will unconsciously tip the bottle up to get baby to drink a bit faster, or replace the bottle in the baby's mouth to get him to finish the last little bit. Are you using paced feeding techniques? http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/f...ottle-feeding/

    My guess is that you're seeing a diminution of supply because you're pumping, not nursing. One of the big problems with pumps is that they just aren't as good as babies are at maintaining supply. When output slumps, the best thing to do is to add in more pump sessions- which is very difficult when you're already maxed out on time and effort!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    rockford,il
    Posts
    572

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    I wish I had a clear answer for you. It was breaking point. I too had been over feeding and not near as vigilant about pumping as you so my little stash was gone. Dh was sleeping all day to return to third shift that night so no help taking care of ds while pumping. I just kind of desperately kept shoving my boob in his mouth and miraculously he took it. (Later on during mini nursing strikes I coaxed him to latch with lanolin on my nipple since he liked the taste. Or I could rock him to sleep with a pacifier and switch my boob out and just let him nurse unrestricted during naps and at night. ) He took one more bottle from me later that night then refused them after that.

  10. #10

    Default Re: HElP!!!!! - My son will not nurse (3 months)

    Mommal, for now the breastfeeding pediatrician that I work with thinks that although he caught up to his original growth curve, he may be trying to get higher up - he was born on the 25th percentile curve, is now a little higher, but his dad is 6'6" so we are thiing he was born a little smaller than he was meant to be - so hopefully it is not overfeeding and will not last. So i am trying to maintain my supply, but it is very hard, i have been stuggling a lot over the last week, had some really low output days, clogged ducts and lots os pain in one of my breasts.

    Doctor says he could still learn to nurse, but only on his own terms, shoving him to the breast or even trying too hard - i,e, too often - putting him on will only backfire. I honestly don't know, my older boys nursed for years, it was so much fun, now it is souch work and no fun at all.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •