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Thread: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    53

    Default Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    Hi ladies,
    this forum helped me through many early nursing struggles so I figured I'd reach out for help because I'm feeling lost again. I am 7 weeks pregnant and my milk has dried up almost completely. My son, who is 20 months old, still nurses to nap and sleep at night. Prior to becoming pregnant, he also nursed in the am but since my milk is drying up he has lost interest. While bedtime is great, he nurses and goes to sleep on his own, nap time has always been a struggle and he will only nap (once a day after lunch) if I nurse him completely to sleep (and sometimes he still wakes up after being laid down I the crib). Well, now that my milk is practically gone, he is having a hard time nursing to nap. Today, he asked me to "fix it" which broke my heart because I would keep nursing him thorough my pregnancy if he wanted, with or without milk. He refuses to lay down awake but he needs a nap because he is tired. I need help! How can I transition him to nap on his own when his entire life we have nursed to nap? I am a little heartbroken on this sudden change because it was unexpected. Any ideas or suggestions would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!!

    Ps I am now a stay at home mom- so it's just us, all day 5 days a week.
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,852

    Default Re: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    Will he fall asleep in the car or in a stroller? With my second daughter, I would nurse her and then take her for a walk in the stroller, and she would nap there for a couple of hours.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    53

    Default Re: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    Sometimes he will nap in the car, rarely ever in the stroller. But I don't see how I could drive around for an hour in this nasty weather we have. The second I stop driving he typically wakes up and he never lets me transfer him from car to crib. What I really want is to teach him to nap in his crib but I have no idea how to do this! He goes to sleep so well at night all on his own after cuddles and nursing. Why is nap time such a struggle? Are there any books I can read or any moms who have been successful at this? I feel like I am doing something wrong. Is this normal for a toddler? I talk to so many moms who put their toddlers down and they sleep for 1-2 hrs no problem. Not my DS. And no one I know still nurses, so again I feel like I've been doing it all wrong. He always falls asleep on me so I know he is tired.
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    Would it be wrong to give him some other kind of milk, to fill his tummy and release sleep inducing hormones, and then nurse him, for he comfort and sucking, to sleep?
    Mama to a sweet kitty born July 2012.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    307

    Default Re: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*davidsmomma View Post
    Sometimes he will nap in the car, rarely ever in the stroller. But I don't see how I could drive around for an hour in this nasty weather we have. The second I stop driving he typically wakes up and he never lets me transfer him from car to crib. What I really want is to teach him to nap in his crib but I have no idea how to do this! He goes to sleep so well at night all on his own after cuddles and nursing. Why is nap time such a struggle? Are there any books I can read or any moms who have been successful at this? I feel like I am doing something wrong. Is this normal for a toddler? I talk to so many moms who put their toddlers down and they sleep for 1-2 hrs no problem. Not my DS. And no one I know still nurses, so again I feel like I've been doing it all wrong. He always falls asleep on me so I know he is tired.
    You're definitely not alone and also not doing anything wrong! I have an older child who napped for 3 hours easily until she was 2.5yrs, and my now 14 month old is just like your son, she has to be nursed all the way to sleep but at night falls asleep by talking to herself after nursing. Everyone is different. I used to think my 14 month old was anemic because of her sleep issues...nope! She's completely normal, just had her blood checked. No allergies even though we thought that too. She just has a hard time sleeping, and it's pretty challenging.

    Not sure how your son has been all along, but my baby is and has always had struggles with sleep. Since day 1.

    My only advice is to try different things and to try as hard as you can to make the nap happen. Dark room, soothing music/white noise, even have him wear pjs if that helps, no stimulation right before nap, etc. We have a rocking chair and I have her sit with me for at least 20 min. We read, rock, nurse, etc, hum songs. If she absolutely insists on getting down it's usually because she needs to poop (lol, I know...but it's true!). Then we go right back in and repeat. I really don't take no for an answer with nap. If she refuses to nurse (which happens a few times a month, usually teething related) we just keep doing the same things, rock, read, hum, etc until she konks out. Sometimes it takes 45 min. Sometimes 5 minutes. Bed time is the only time she will voluntarily lay down on the bed and fall asleep and I dread the summer when it's light out later.

    I can't think of any books off the top of my head but if I find one I'll post it. I'm sure this is so hard on both of you. I would just do your best to make it relaxing for him, or at least make him stay in the room even if he walks around? I do that sometimes too, I let her walk around in the dark and eventually she gives up. I would also say make sure he is not over tired, it's so much harder to get them to nap when they're even a bit over tired.
    Last edited by @llli*karrieperry; February 12th, 2014 at 07:21 PM.
    and Mama to two little girls

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    123

    Default Re: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    Hi Mama, Congrats on the new baby! DD didn't nap in the crib until she was about 15 months. Prior to that I had to nurse her down completely and lay with her while she stayed latched on for the entire nap. Like yours, though, she didn't nurse to sleep at night. So, I just recreated the bedtime routine during the day, minus the bath. I'd put on the white noise, change her, we'd nurse, read the same stories, and then I'd hold her for a bit before putting her down. I think it helped her to recognize that this was an Ok time to just let herself fall asleep. Blackout curtains, if you don't already have them, were a tremendous help.

    All that said, after a month of holiday travel and exclusive stroller naps, we've yet to get her back in the crib for naps. We live in Canada. It's February and we nap her outside. Oy. So I do know how hard it is! You're not doing anything wrong!
    Mama to Viv since 4/08/12 -- my all natural post-breast cancer miracle baby

    with just one breast. So far so good.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    350

    Default Re: Coping with sudden changes & nap time struggles

    My 2.25yo DS needs to nurse into sleep for his nap and multiple times through the night. That's normal for us, too.

    I'm beginning to suspect my DS has sensory processing disorder, in part because he needs to maintain physical contact with me to stay asleep. (There are many red flags in addition to this one.) Maybe when you get a moment, take a gander at this checklist and see if anything fits. Some children have much lower sensory thresholds than others, and I believe my son needs physical contact and nursing to drown out what would otherwise be a sensory overload for him. (And, to reassure you further, he has NEVER transferred from one sleep surface to another successfully in over 2 years, and it's not for lack of trying!)

    http://www.spdfoundation.net/symptoms.html

    http://spdsupport.org/resources/symptoms.shtml

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