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Thread: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    181

    Default Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    Hey ladies.

    It's been a while since I've posted here, we've been busy... But now I've reached a point where I'm just done with nursing.

    My DD is 20 mo and she still asks to nurse at night (nurse to sleep) and through the night, she wakes at least twice and she nurses back to sleep. She also nurses at nap time on the weekends.

    I just started feeling really uncomfortable nursing, I don't think I have much milk and she nurses for so long that it starts hurting...

    I've tried unlatching her before she falls asleep, but she starts crying about it. I've tried making her go to sleep by other means (rocking, pat on the back while singing...) and she also cries desperately asking ni-ni... Daddy tried making her go I sleep and didn't work either.

    I guess I have no patience for this, and I can't stand her crying. And I also know this is not what she's used to, but I don't know how to change the routine.

    I feel so lost right now, and since I have no idea how to do this, I just want to sit down and cry...

    Have any of you been successful weaning a toddler this age? I really need to do something. Sometimes I even feel like rejecting my little girl during nursing and getting mad for no reason when she asks to nurse or when she doesn't fall asleep nursing...

    Please help...

    Thanks y'all.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,604

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    The weaning process is so individual however there are many things you can do to hasten the process if you like. I would suggest the books how weaning happens or the nursing mothers guide to weaning either will give you lots of ideas.
    I experienced a great deal of nursing a version when I was pregnant with my second child and my oldest was about two. I did not want to wean totally but I did find that there were times I really could not nurse so I would redirect or find a substitute or something. or I would keep nursing sessions very short.
    When my son wanted to nurse to sleep (and I wanted him to nurse to sleep because then I got more sleep) but consequently I could not avoid nursing or keep the session short, I would use techniques to distract myself from the discomfort I was feeling such as deep breathing or reading or thinking about other things.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    109

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    Hi Leemami, I can identify with some of your feelings. My daughter is 19 m.o. She loves to nurse. I have felt very frustrated with her when she would not fall asleep nursing. I felt as though I had done my part and she wasn't holding up her end. I don't get so upset anymore because we've worked things out, although it did (and still does sometimes) take a little crying. But you know, i suspect making the decision to wean will not solve that right now. You will either do it quickly, with lots of crying, or progressively, with less crying, but taking a toll on you.

    My recommendation is to take advantage of your girl's age and start setting some limits. Accept that she will not like them initially, but tell yourself that if you are persistent, she will come to accept the new rules. I'm sure you have some rules in your house. These will just be new ones.
    Mama to a sweet kitty born July 2012.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    Could you be pregnant? Is her latch bad? I'm just wondering why it hurts you to nurse. It shouldn't hurt.

    I think my son was around 20 months when I started to be able to put him in the crib not fully asleep and just keep my hand on his back until he fell asleep. I'd nurse until he was very sleepy, eyes closed, and then put him in his crib. He would usually protest but with a hand on his back and gentle pressure he'd usually settle back down and go to sleep. I did have to stand there like that for a few minutes with my hand on his back but it seemed to get him to sleep quicker than nursing to sleep some nights. I think your DD is around the age when nursing doesn't work as well to put them to sleep as it did when they were littler. There were times it would take DS an hour or longer to fall asleep that way and it does get really tiring. I stuck it out and DS is back to nursing to sleep reasonably easily now, at age 27 months. If he doesn't nurse to sleep he will accept being put in the crib drowsy but awake and just having me stay in the room until he falls asleep.

    I don't know what to tell you about weaning, because we aren't there yet. I'll leave that to other ladies with more experience in that department.
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    rockford,il
    Posts
    648

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    http://evolutionaryparenting.com/gen...eep-resources/
    Check this site out for some sleep tips. Hope you find something to help you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    181

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    Thanks y'all
    I'm not pregnant... I actually took a preg test recently cause I was late on my period.
    I guess it's just thinking about how much I don't like nursing now that makes feelings or sensations worse. It just uncomfortable...
    I'll get the books or one of them and see. Thanks Meg.
    I'm just done, I don't want to nurse anymore. It's been great until now and I don't regret anything, even when I was criticized for nursing beyond 6 mo LOL but I think my little girl is old enough.
    We cosleep and I think that's making things harder, inducing DH leaving the room if she starts crying to nurse, which obviously doesn't help

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    Well, if you hate nursing at this point, you shouldn't do it. Nursing is supposed to be a bonding experience. If it's making you resent your child and dread when she wants to nurse then it's hurting your relationship and it's probably time to stop. That said, it probably won't be easy and there probably will be tears involved. I am wondering if night weaning might be a middle road for you? It sounds like nighttime is when nursing bothers you the most. If you night weaned and only nursed at other times do you think you'd feel better about it? You might google "Jay Gordon" and "night weaning" for info on a gentle night weaning method. It would probably help if you slept somewhere else for awhile and left your DH and DD in bed as she won't expect to nurse from him. Daddy is going to have to step up and help to make this happen. Alternatively you could transition her into a crib or toddler bed.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    860

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    I was alarmed how easily my nursing toddler weaned when I offered him lap time with a book a puzzel, a song and a sippy cup filled with either juice or ( don't judge me) yoo-hoo, He weaned in less then a month and is now a well adjusted handsom college graduate. No harm no foul.
    DD#1 July 1986 VB
    DD#2 April 1988 c/sec
    DS#3 April 1990 VBAC
    DS#4 June 1993 VB
    and suprise!
    DD#5 April 2001 c/sec
    BTDT scars and stretchmarks,: wrinkles and grey hair

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    171

    Default Re: Overwhelmed and tired. I need to wean

    Yes, I believe weaning varies from one person to another, Nursing do needs a lot of patience...

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