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Thread: Sad and confused. What comes next?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Default Sad and confused. What comes next?

    I am sorry this is so long. Thank you for bearing with me here. My daughter is 11 months today and the last few months have felt like a comedy of errors that dont feel all that funny. Up until 9 months we had plenty of milk. I feed on demand when with her and pump at work. I use bm in her cereal for breakfast and she has 3-4 bottles at day care depending on what time we pick her up. At around 9 months my pumping output tanked. I think it is the pump since I get more with the manual pump then the electric. I cannot afford to get another pump and insurance will not cover a second one. I have bought new parts but that really has not helped.
    Since I know the issues is not supply I do not want to do anything to increase the amount of milk I am making. I am engorged regularly and often in pain with plugged ducts that I have to hand express to get rid of 2-3 times a day.
    So anyway, I have blown through my huge freezer stash because in addition to all of this we have lost some milk due to a freezer mishap that ripped some of the bags open.
    I am now facing a need to supplement or decrease what I send to daycare and hope we can make up for it with nursing. Ellie has a dairy allergy so that makes things a little more difficult.
    I do not know if I get formula and leave it at the daycare in case they need more than I send on any day, get some sort of milk substitute or send more solids.
    And if I send formula or a milk substitute I have no idea which one to send.
    A typical day currently looks like this:
    6:00am nurse
    8:00am cereal and fruit
    9:00 3 oz bottle
    12:00 3 oz bottle
    1:30 lunch - about 2-3oz of veggies, chicken, beans, rice (whatever is left from her dinner the night before)
    3:00 3 oz bottle
    6:00 3oz bottle if she is still there
    She also has puffs, mums and water throughout the day

    we nurse as soon as I get home then have dinner about 20-30 min after she is done. Dinner is usually broccoli with either chicken, avocado, peas, carrots, squash, or whatever I have ready to go. As long as there is broccoli on her tray she will eat anything.
    Then bath time and nurse to sleep.
    Sometimes we do a dream feed around 11. She wakes up between 3-5 and moves to our bed where she nurses as much as she wants then wake up at 6 and repeat.

    I am pumping enough to consistently send 2 bottles to daycare, sometimes 3 plus 2 oz for her cereal. I tried to eliminate the cereal so I could use that milk in a bottle but she was miserable all day. For some reason she really looks forward to it and helps her transition to being at daycare from being with mommy and daddy.

    I am confused about what to do in the immediate future but I am also confused about what the next steps are with her birthday approaching. I really want to stop pumping but I dont know how I keep her full during the day if she is not having bm. When I was not touching my freezer stash I had enough to send her bm for months after her birthday and now I have none.

    What do I do now to replace the 3rd and 4th bottles?
    What do I do when I stop pumping to make sure she is getting enough calories?
    mommy to Ellie - 2/28/13 8lb 3oz 19.5in

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    2,214

    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    Have you considered renting a pump for a month or two? Cheaper than buying a new double electric but can get you past that 1 year milestone. And to help you with the engorgement/plugged ducts issue. What time do you drop LO off at daycare? Any chance of a nursing session at drop-off so you can push the bottles later in the day - maybe need one less bottle? Is nursing during the day ever a possibility? (I don't think it is based on how you've described your job in the past, but just thought I'd check.)

    The good news is that she likes solids. So once she hits a year (which you are so close to!) you can really ramp that up, and start ramping down on the daytime breastmilk if she is doing well with the solids. If she is nursing (or drinking EBM) 3-5 times/24 hours after a year, you're set for the dairy part of her diet, without need for supplemental milk.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,262

    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    Excellent suggestions above!

    A lot of moms pump-wean at a year. But some continue to pump for a while longer- either because they don't mind doing it or because they have to due to their babies not really eating much solid food yet. Would you be open to continuing to pump for another 2-3 months after the baby's birthday? Not what you want to do, clearly... But it might ease that transition to solids a bit.

    So sorry about your freezer stash and difficulties with the pump! Have you tried changing the shield size? Sometimes moms find that they need a different shield size as time goes on.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    I just went through a very similar process. DS is now 13 months. I had a pretty dramatic production decrease around ten months. For many months, I was sending four 5 ounce bottles of EBM daily, but once I hit that pump slump I was having to pump a fourth time before bed to get that fourth bottle... and sometimes all four bottles were a scant 4 ounces. DS gained weight steadily anyway.
    Pretty much as soon as he turned a year old, I started sending him with only 3 bottles. He eats yogurt every day (and had done so for a couple of months). I rapidly pump weaned, dropping about a session per week. During the day he gets water, juice, and whole cow's milk. We nurse when we get home, before bed, during the night at least once (more like three times) and in the morning before "school". It feels weird not to send him with any EBM but he is still thriving and I am free from the pump.
    I don't know if any of this is helpful or not, but I will say that I was amazed at how much more solid food he started putting away once he reached 12 months. He was a good eater before, but now he shovels it in. If you can hang in there any way you can for one more month, you might find that there is no calorie intake problem to worry about. Good luck!.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    Thank you for the replies.
    @bfwmomof3 - Pump rental from the local hospital is $25 per week. I would like to pump until at least May although I will probably cut down a bit on the amount beginning in March. I have had so many issues with oversupply that I want to go very very slow with that. Unfortunately at that point I would be paying the same as a new pump. Luckily the pharmacy I used to get my first pump is trying to get my insurance company to cover another one so fingers crossed...
    I cant really fit in anything else in the morning. Ellie and I wake up and nurse and pump, I get her ready for day care while my husband gets ready for work, they leave and then I get myself ready. I am usually racing out the door. I am also concerned about adding a session and increasing my supply. And unfortunately no nursing during the day. I work about an hour away I know a new pump would probably fix this but I just cannot figure out how to work it into the budget right now if insurance does not cover it.
    I am not too worried about the amount of bm she is getting for dairy or liquid purposes but more that she is hungry. I feel like I would be starving her without her full supply of bottles or giving her a lot more solids.
    @mommal-I use two different shield sizes. A smaller one with the manual pump and for the evening pump and a larger one during the day. For some reasons my nipples shrink as the day goes on.....
    I am good with pumping for as long as milk comes out I am looking for a new job right now and in my current job pumping is not really a problem but some of the jobs I am looking might require a faster pump wean (not because of the employer but because of the amount of work)
    @amypo28 - everything is helpful at this point. And knowing I am not alone always helps. I do not have any friends who did not at least supplement after 6 months and most did not bf past that point. They are mostly supportive but they just don't get it.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on what to give instead of cow's milk if I need to supplement and/or as we transition away from bm? I am not comfortable with soy milk and nut milks are not an option because we do not know if she is allergic to that as well and we cannot send them to day care. I would try rice milk or hemp milk but I do not know how they are for babies and my doctor was no help at all.
    If I am overthinking this please tell me. I tend towards obsessiveness about things like this, especially when it comes to Ellie and what will be best for her. Thanks again ladies!
    mommy to Ellie - 2/28/13 8lb 3oz 19.5in

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    http://www.homemademommy.net/2013/05...k-is-best.html

    For smaller amounts during the day since you'd still be nursing and she's so close to a year, I'd probably go with hemp or flax seed milks. Do you count coconut as possibly allergenic? That would work too. Really none of the dairy alternatives have an adequate nutrient content but rice milk is especially low. Dr Sears had an article on his website about goat 's milk and a recipe for homemade formula using it as an alternative for those with cow's milk sensitivities.

  7. #7
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    You might want to try the smaller shields on the electric pump for the daytime sessions. IDK, maybe it would make a difference...?

    I'd also suggest calling your local LLL. The official position is that most pumps are single user medical devices, but that doesn't mean that pumps don't change hands in the parking lot after meetings. That might be a way for you to get a newer pump.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    I would have to check with the day care and the doctor about coconut milk since my understanding is that it was just identified as a tree nut. I was thinking rice because I know she is not allergic but if was definitely not my first choice. Ill have to look into flax seed and hemp. The only thing I know about them is that Dr. Oz likes them (or so he said on some morning radio show I was listening to )
    Last time I tried the smaller shields during the day I got some bruising but I can try again. I have really sensitive skin and a daughter that likes to gauge me with her nails when she is nursing so I am a bit sensitive.
    I have not had much luck contacting local LLL leaders in my area. The meetings are when I am at work so I cannot just go and none have ever responded to my phone calls or emails. I think it is just not very active by me but it has been a few months since I reached out. I will try the group closer to my work today. I think they are more active. I would love to see if I could get a pump that way! I did not think that was a possibility.
    mommy to Ellie - 2/28/13 8lb 3oz 19.5in

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*elliemommy View Post
    Thank you for the replies.
    @bfwmomof3 - Pump rental from the local hospital is $25 per week. I would like to pump until at least May although I will probably cut down a bit on the amount beginning in March. I have had so many issues with oversupply that I want to go very very slow with that. Unfortunately at that point I would be paying the same as a new pump. Luckily the pharmacy I used to get my first pump is trying to get my insurance company to cover another one so fingers crossed...
    Gosh, that's steep! I think where I work (a medical center) it's about $60/month. Just wondering whether you might be able to get a better deal elsewhere, if the LLL or insurance possibilities don't work out (though I hope they do....)
    I definitely agree with going slowly on the pump weaning. I have oversupply too and I was plagued with plugged ducts after pump weaning, even though I did it very gradually - I actually had to go back to pumping for a while. All the more reason to try to find a good solution to your pump problems - I really hope something works out!

  10. #10
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    May 2013
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    Default Re: Sad and confused. What comes next?

    I hear about the insurance today after 3 so if that does not work I will start calling and emailing LLL leaders and look into rentals. I just finished pumping and used the smaller shields. I got about 1 1/2 oz more than I had been so I guess it is worth a little pain to keep using those. Good thing no one is looking at me other than dh and ellie because it looks like a cat gave me hickeys in a big circle around my nipples while digging its claws into me. Not pretty!
    mommy to Ellie - 2/28/13 8lb 3oz 19.5in

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