Re: Handling requests to nurse in public
I agree completely. You SHOULD be able to be 100% honest with your spouse. But spinning he truth... It's still honesty. Just with a different varnish. Let me give you an example. It used to be that when my DH came home from work, he'd ask "How was your day?" and my response was usually something like "OMG, I am exhausted, the kids were driving me crazy and wait till you see the mess they made..." Which was all true. But hearing that really bummed him out, and made him think I hates being home with the kids. So I started trying to put a different gloss on it. When he came home and asked how my day was, I would try to lead with "Good, we had a lot of fun doing X today" or something like that. Which was also all true! In the end, I realized I was pitching a news story. If I went negative, he tensed up and gave me a negative response. If I led with something positive, he would immediately relax and the rest of the evening would go a lot better.
I may need to "spin" things a bit to DH. I feel like that's unfortunate; of all the people I should be able to be honest with, my partner is #1.
This is a pattern for a lot of families! The dad becomes Fun Daddy and the mom becomes Comfort Mommy. It's really natural and normal. And it will change with time. Your child is still so young that his comfort/cuddle/affection needs are still really centered on you. But as time goes on, children swap their "favorite" parent all the time. At 2, my kids usually wanted mommy for everything. Not just nursing. They wanted to sit next to me, sleep with me, bathe with me, have me make their breakfast, hold my hand... But at age 3-4 it started to switch and all of a sudden they wanted their papa all the time. It switches back and forth. But at age 2? It's mommy mommy mommy, at least when it comes to being affectionate.
And DS will cuddle up a bit to DH when I'm not there. When I am there, though, he usually prefers me. (It does go back and forth a bit, but usually he prefers me, at least for cuddling/affection).DH and DS have a wonderful time playing together. DH is really great about playing on a toddler's level and never gets tired of playing
Would your DH be open to reading some parenting books? Or maybe speaking to a child psychologist- one that you preselect to be breastfeeding-friendly? It sounds like he might benefit from re-examining the harsh parenting he received and thinking about other ways to parent, ones that don't rely on force to "train" a child.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"