A little background for you....
I nursed exclusively while on 8 week maternity leave. Went back to work (didn't want to but had to due to financial reasons) I pump every day while at work and breastfeed exclusively at home. He never has a bottle at while I am with him.
As of late I do not express nearly enough milk to send with him. The last couple of months I have been able to only send 5 ounces of expressed milk for the day at the sitters, the other bottles he has there are formula.
The last couple of weeks I have only been able to send expressed milk every other day. When I get a full serving I will send it. This is really depressing to me since I was dead set against formula and only wanted to be "that mom that exclusively breastfed my baby for the first year" I wanted to be a champion breast feeder, as none of my other friends and family have been able to breast feed past 3 months or less due to frustration or what-have-you. So needless to say I am getting frustrated with myself.
BUT that is not what my post was supposed to be about (oops) Okay, here it is:
My husband, who has a job that keeps him away most of the week, REALLY loves to co sleep. He misses him throughout the week and wants to spend as much time as possible with him. I have ALWAYS said I was against co sleeping because I was afraid I wouldn't get them out of my bed when they are 10. Anyways, when hubby is not there I have a routine, I breastfeed him to sleep in the rocker when he starts rubbing his eyes. I lay him in his crib and he sleeps for a couple or few hours. Then wakes up and I try to put him back to sleep the same way but whenever I lay him in his crib in the middle of the night he always rolls over and sits up and reaches for me. And I mean, he can be OUT, completely asleep. So then I need to go to sleep because I have to get up for work in 6 hours so I put him in my bed and he wrestles for a little bit but ultimately falls asleep.
I have always had the goal of breastfeeding for the first year. Until now, I am contemplating weaning now rather than at a year. Reasons:
-I am not pumping enough to send to the sitter
-I am thinking he is waking up because he is used to getting a "snack" in the middle of the night and maybe if I wean him he will be easier to sleep train
-He is getting teeth--he bites me if I try to feed him and he doesn't want it (but that is the only time he bites)
Reasons not to wean:
-He is at least getting my nutritious milk at night and on the weekends
-He seems to be getting enough when I breastfeed him--he eats until he stops and doesn't act like he is still hungry
-If we go somewhere I don't have to worry if I brought the milk
-We save that much more money with me breastfeeding while I am home with him (although that is the least of my concerns, even if we had all the money in the world I feel like I would not be giving up easily)
-I feel like what are a few more months of these restless, sleepless nights if it means he is getting the nutrients he needs.
I just need some advice from someone on what they went through and if anyone went through a similar situation. Am I being selfish in wanting this? My mom says she is so proud of me for doing this as long as I have. She said she was never able to breastfeed long (she's a nurse and worked a lot) She says she wishes I was getting the sleep I need at night because it isn't good for me but if I am willing to wake up without complaining and being grumpy to my little boy then she supports me.
My husband is very PRO breastfeeding (I never dreamed he would be this supportive--as his mother is the one that doesn't get it)
SOO SORRY for the novel! But thanks for letting ramble on and thanks for any replies.
Julie from Oklahoma