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Thread: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

  1. #1
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    Default My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    I am ready to wean, family tells me it is time wean, but I know she is not ready! Do I push it or let her wean herself? She really only comfort nurses and nurses herself to sleep. We are considering having another baby and I really do not want to be nursing her while pregnant. She is VERY posessive of her "nee-nees" and cries and cries when I tell her no.. Help please!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    Welcome to the forum!

    Can you tell us more about how you're feeling about nursing right now? Is giving your daughter "nee-nees" something which has become physically and emotionally unpleasant, or is it something you're enjoying or are at least neutral about, and your concerns are more about nursing through a second pregnancy or your family's negative attitude, or perhaps your child's level of demandingness? It's fine if you're ready to wean! I just want to make sure that you're doing it because you are ready, not because some nosy grandma is making you feel bad about nursing or because you're scared of what might happen during a second pregnancy. Especially since your baby is pretty clearly telling you that she is not yet ready to say goodbye to her nee-nee days, and because biologically (rather than culturally) speaking, 2.5 years is young to be weaned.

    When weaning a toddler, some useful strategies are:
    - Don't offer, don't refuse. Adopt this strategy and your baby will eventually self-wean- perhaps just not as fast as you wish!
    - Distraction. When your baby wants to nurse, offer her other things. Back rubs, lullabies, a toy, a story, a snack, a sippy cup.
    - Delay. Toddlers can often understand things like "Not now, we'll nurse later" or "We'll nurse when we get home, but we're not going to nurse here in the store."
    - Avoidance. Babies are often cued to nurse by seeing you in your habitual nursing spot. So avoid those places like the plague! Staying out of your house as much as possible can help, since your toddler will find plenty of new and interesting things to do instead of nursing.
    - Enlist helpers. Your toddler knows that only mommy possesses the nursing superpower. So having daddy or grandma take over those times when your toddler most wants to nurse (e.g. bedtime, wake-up time, etc.)
    - Time limits. Try telling your baby that she can nurse until the count of ten, or until you finish singing "Twinkle, twinkle". Time limits cut down on nursing, and cutting down is often a first step to cutting it out.
    - Behavior limits. If there's some particularly annoying behavior- e.g. twiddling, poking, hair-pulling- now is a good time to cut it out.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    WOW Thank you for this reply, it brought tears to my eyes lol I guess because I AM confused as to what I want to do.
    There is one behavior she does that I do not like, that is twiddling with one nee-nee while nursing on the other. I mover her hand away until she stops.
    And yes, there are many family members that think it is time, way past time, for her to stop nursing. Luckily, my husband is not one of them He says let her have her nee-nees! lol Even though he misses them, he hates to hear her cry for them. She knows no nursing while we are out or at the store, unless we are out for a long time then she won't take no for an answer. And we co-sleep, with a side-carred crib, so she nurses to sleep and turns to me in the middle of the night as well. I have refused a couple of times and she has cried herself to sleep which broke my heart. That is the part of this that I have no idea how we are going to stop, the middle of the night nursing.
    As far as having another baby, we still are not positive. But I would hate to wean her, which I know will take some time, then have her see a new baby with her nee-nees. That makes me sad to think about. So see! I am confused!!! lol
    I think another part of this that is making this difficult is that she is very advanced in her vocabulary and attitude. I know 2 1/2 is still a baby but she acts and talks like a 3 or 4 year old so people, including me at times, view her as older. That just confuses me even more.
    I appreciate your reply so much. I will definitely try your ideas. Thanks again so much!

    Jennifer & Abigail

  4. #4
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    When you have an older toddler, you can go into the closet around anti-breastfeeding family members. A lot of people will start assuming that your baby has weaned if they never see her nurse, and you don't tell them that she's still nursing.

    One thing that can really help with older, verbal toddlers is communication. Before bedtime, tell your LO that "The sun is going to bed. Mommy and daddy and baby are all going to bed. Nee-nees are going to bed. We're all going to sleep all night long. You can have some nee-nees in the morning when the sun wakes up and everyone in the family wakes up." Then, after a successful night of no nursing, you reinforce the lesson. "Good morning! Everyone slept all night long. Now the sun is up, mommy is up, daddy is up, baby is up- and nee-nees are up! Let's have a quick nee-nee and then start our day!"

    I'm a firm believer in not borrowing trouble from the future. A lot of people wean out of fear of what they think might happen- but there's an excellent chance that what they fear won't happen! For example, we have one mom here who was worried about tandem nursing. But she continued to nurse through pregnancy- and the day her new baby was born, her older child decided on her own that she was done nursing, and that it was just going to be for the baby!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    One other thought to add to mommal's great advice, if you do decide to become pregnant, usually your milk will decrease or dry up during pregnancy, and that may also help nudge your daughter along towards weaning if that's what you decide to do.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    Again thank you for the replies, I am late but thank you! I do appreciate other moms' input.. We are still nursing but she fell asleep last night on her own! yay!! She did nurse in the middle of the night, but... baby steps..

  7. #7
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    totally agree with PPs. I first came to this forum looking for advice on weaning, my son was about 3 1/2 then. In the end he nursed to sleep until he turned five last October.

    I completly agree with mommals statement - if no one sees you nurse everone will assume you weaned. This was my experience once i had made it clear to my son that nursing was for at home only. This took a little while but not too long.

    I can also relate about the issue of the child appearing older because of being very advanced verbally. It can make it harder but then you can also communicate much easier with her and i do remember talking a lot with my son from about that age, 2 1/2 about nursing - when and where and how long.

    Personally the night nursing was not such a problem for me, and also I could not find an alternative I was comfortable with, but hated the early morning one very much and found a way to eliminate it (simply by getting up out of bed before him).
    So once i realised that with the help of the lovely ladies here that it was not all or nothing which I had not understood before i was able to over time end up with just the nursing to sleep.

    So if oyu want to reduce nursing, I would say look for the one easiest to eliminate to start with (not the middle of the night one, i think this is a hard one), and once you did that you will feel more confident that you can actually negotiate and find a way satisfying to both of you. At least this is how it was for me -eliminating the hated morning one gave me the confidence to set other limits (eg limit lenght of nursing by counting or singing).

  8. #8
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    If you are interested in night time weaning, the Jay Gordon method worked really well for me. it is gentle and compatible with cosleeping.

    http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    Default Re: My daughter is almost 2 1/2..

    Hi there! I think the best time to wean is when you and your child are both ready. But if you need to do it now, maybe these might help:

    Skip a feeding.
    Try to offer a bottle or cup of milk instead of nursing. Alternatively, you can give pumped breast milk, formula, or whole cow's milk.
    Reducing feedings gradually gives your child time to adjust.

    Shorten nursing time.
    Try limiting the time your child while BF. If he usually nurses for 10-15 minutes, try 10, then lesser.
    Depending on his age, follow the feeding with a healthy snack or solid food.

    Postpone and distract. Postpone feedings if you're only nursing a a few times a day.
    If your child asks to nurse, tell her that you will soon and divert her attention her with a different activity. Instead of nursing in the early evening, you could tell her to wait until bedtime.

    Hope these will help!

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