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Thread: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

  1. #1
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    Feb 2013
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    Question almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    Our DD1 will be a year next week, so maybe this belongs in the other group?

    In any case, she was sleeping though the night (8-10 hours starting around 8pm) from 3mo until she was about 6mo when she started teething and waking up every three hours or so to nurse/be comforted. We started co-sleeping at that point, to relieve the exhaustion, and that was fine until recently.

    Now she doesn't fall asleep until 11 or 11:15pm and wakes up screaming/crying every 2.5 - 3 hours, nurses for 15 to 20 minutes then is drowsy enough to be put back in her crib. We started getting her used to the crib so we would have a safe option for daytime naps and because she kicks me a lot at night!

    She is fairly happy and alert until about 10pm, then it is a sloooow slide into sleep. I usually nurse her to sleep because it is faster, but the few times she has slept more than three hours at a stretch her daddy got her to sleep, not me. I don't really mind the night nursing, and I'm not necessarily looking to stop yet. I'm pregnant with #2 and I've read that it can help keep up supply, but sometimes her latch is just awful at night because she's not actually hungry/focused on eating and really, this late bedtime is starting to take its toll. Anyone else dealt with this?

    If she seemed tired around 7:30 or 8 we'd push for bedtime then, but there is only just so much turning all the lights off and dancing around quietly and nursing we can do when she is wide awake and wants to play... I'm willing to let her cry and be a bit uncomfortable if it would lead to a good result, but she gets nervous easily and I don't want to push in the wrong direction.

    Sorry this is so long - there is just so much conflicting information about nursing and sleeping that I don't know quite what to do.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    What happens when you try nursing her down in a dark room, at 7:30? We do this after a routine and occasionally he refuses to sleep and did so around 1 year, but things have improved drastically. In fact I remember many challenging nights when nothing would work right around 1. Not so anymore. Not to mention now at 15 months our DS is even starting to fall asleep on his own every other night or so. We co-sleep too. Here's my routine:
    After dinner, start a bath around 7-7:30, bath lasts about 15 minutes
    PJs and "night diaper" (we're cloth diaperers)
    Brush teeth
    At this time DH is putting on soft music and turning down lights
    DS and I pick out bedtime story
    Go to our bedroom, turn on ocean sounds machine
    Read and nurse, sometimes simultaneously while lying down and sometimes book first
    If still awake after story, I start singing softly, and sometimes just talk quietly
    If still awake I gently get up (at this point he's tired enough that he just lays there) and turn off all the lights except for a nightlight on the sound machine
    And keep nursing if necessary until he's asleep then unlatch, or until he pulls himself off and falls asleep on his own.
    This is all done by 8 or 8:30 and I get up and hang with DH.
    We , , , and with my little monkey, born 9/30/2012.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    And I forgot to mention I often fall asleep too but DH texts me to wake me up so we can have our quiet time. Guess I'm tired from all that, ha!
    We , , , and with my little monkey, born 9/30/2012.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    Is your LO still taking two naps? That seems like such a late bedtime. My LO did have bad stretches, though, where she couldn't fall asleep until late. It was probably around a year. But they weren't ever day for a significant amount of time -- just a few days, then back to normal.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    Also, I don't think you said how much sleep total she is getting? Not only is that really late but if she's having trouble with naps too and not sleeping in to make up for the 3 or 4 hours missed, then she's likely sleep deprived (as are you!)
    We , , , and with my little monkey, born 9/30/2012.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    @filmmommy - She naps one to three times a day, usually about two hours total, though often less (right now she's been asleep for almost an hour and a half, whew!) but sometimes it is three fifteen minute naps, which just doesn't cut it. I can tell when she's had enough sleep because she wakes up happy, otherwise she's a grumpy mess, but she doesn't go back to sleep very easily even then.
    @garsmum - She'll sleep until about 9:30am, with a lot of nursing in the morning, so that's about ten hours at night and another one or two during the day. I've really been enjoying our late mornings, but I'm not sure it is worth the late nights! And thank you for your example schedule, I think being more aggressive about that is our first step...

  7. #7
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    Well, at the very least, it sounds like your daughter is getting a good amount of sleep overall. I think the place around the year point is just sort of tough. There are so many things that are happening developmentally. Many babies are also in the process of dropping naps or otherwise changing their sleep rhythms. Usually some teething is thrown into the mix, too!

    No real advice to follow, just some sharing of experience: my daughter also has had a later bedtime/wake up than a lot of other babies since about 12 months old. More like 8:45-9:30 p.m., so not as late as yours currently does, but still later than the typical 7:30 pm I hear so many parents report! In our case, when we tried starting the routine earlier, it didn't do anything to shift her bedtime. Baby just stayed awake and bounced and bounced and bounced in bed with me in the dark, and would often take her even LONGER to fall asleep (and then she slept even more poorly overnight!) than if I'd just gone with her preferred pattern. I attribute a lot of this to the early stages of nap transitioning, myself--my daughter is still really needing two naps a day, she can't make it without them, but also wants to stay up longer stretches, too. What we really need is a 26 hour day for the next couple of months! Maybe your daughter is beginning a nap transition, too, and it'll hopefully work itself out over the next several weeks.
    Apologies for the short responses! I'm usually responding one-handed on my smartphone!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    Around 12 months I discovered my night owl son just needed 6 hours of awake time in the afternoon/evening.
    So in order for him to be ready to sleep at 9 I had to make sure he finished his daytime napping around 3pm. Any later meant late bedtime, any earlier and he would need an evening nap
    As garsmum mentioned, a bedtime routine really helped. We do a snack at 7:45, bath, pajamas, reading, nurse to sleep.
    Try tiring her out in the eveningif you can. Visit friends, go to the mall, playground, grocery shopping, dinner in a restaurant.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    I am not in favor of putting a kid to sleep way before they want to go down naturally. Because it used to be piss me off to be there putting him to sleep for an hour. That seemed like a huge waste of my time. 40minutes is the outside most I want to spend getting someone to sleep. And for me that was 20 minutes to fall asleep MAX (he'd often fall asleep in 5minutes). Then 15-20 minutes of investment time to make sure he didn't wake back up from light sleep when I rolled away. We were night owls and I have a super duper high energy kid. We actually actively worked to wear him out playing before bed. At one there was trampoline time after dinner. But anytime he was still Wide awake at the 20 minute point I would give up and take him back out. I wouldn't even try before 8. 8-8:30 was the sweet spot for the 9:00 bedtime. And I agree with no naps after 3pm. Doing so always got me the 11 bedtime.

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #10
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    Default Re: almost 12mo, LATE bedtime, nursing and sleeping concerns

    I agree with nathansmum -- I noticed my LO needed a good 6-hour or more stretch before bed after her last nap (except for rare occasions where she napped badly and I had to let her take an evening nap or something). Around 14 months she transitioned from two naps to one, so could you maybe see if cutting down to two naps (one morning and one early afternoon) would help? I agree that tiring kids out helps, too -- although in Michigan it's tough to get outside much right now! My LO likes dancing and chasing Daddy around the house.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

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