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Thread: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    Thanks for your advice. I do have supply issues, not making enough. I run dry after hours of cluster feeding. It is most likely the nipple shield that is part of the problem, leading to less stimulation... but I cannot nurse without it as I have flat nipples. The supply issues in combination with the fact that baby refuses bottle from me, and sometimes even from dad is very problematic. Perhaps that is also why she doesn't sleep well, maybe she doesn't get full. As of right now we don't know what to do and are thinking of a plan. She also does not want the paci so we are limited...
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jessicanewmom View Post
    I know just how you're feeling. How many times in the past six weeks have I been sitting on the floor crying and saying "I am just am so tired." Many many times. And until my baby was gaining good weight, I felt like anytime she gave any indication that she was hungry I needed to take that opportunity to breast-feed. Two days ago the lactation consultant said that if I had fed her for an hour and baby is no longer actively sucking and swallowing, she gave me "permission" to use a pacifier for 20 minutes. She said that that would actually trick my body into thinking the next feeding was a new one which would release more prolactin and lead to a new let down.

    Something else the lactation consultant had me doing ended up helping quite a bit with both milk supply and getting a bit of rest. Every day she had me do what she called a power pump. The power pump was 10 minutes of pumping with a hospital grade pump, 10 minutes off, 10 minutes of pumping, 10 minutes off, 10 minutes of pumping. This resulted, for me, in about 3 ounces of breast milk. While I was doing the power pump, my husband would be feeding yesterday's breast milk. While the power pump takes about an hour, baby is getting 3 ounces of breast milk, which makes her nice and sleepy. She would then sleep for two hours. Two blissful hours.
    I think you'd want to be careful of using this to get baby to sleep very long. My understanding is that for a newborn you wouldn't want more than one four hour stretch per day, including nursing time. So you might be lucky and get one three hour sleep. But maybe only a two hour sleep. And even a one hour sleep sounds like more than you're getting right now. I don't think you'd want to try this with any oversupply issues -- and probably wouldn't even if you have a normal supply. The point from the lactation consultant perspective was to increase my supply dramatically. The extra little bit of satiation was an added bonus. Another benefit is that after sleeping two hours baby wakes up hungry and eats even better the next time at the breast. And my boobs have had a good two hours to restock.
    It stands to reason that you get the same results by breast-feeding and then supplementing with expressed breastmilk.



    If you can figure out breast compressions with the shields, you might find what I found which is that baby eats much more efficiently. So maybe she's done in 50 minutes and is quite content, which then gives me an hour and a half of no breast-feeding. That's assuming she's breast-feeding every 2 and a half hours or so.

    Also remember that sleep deprivation is a technique they use to make prisoners crack. It's no wonder you're feeling like you're going crazy. It sounds like it's imperative that you get a little sleep, even if that means a bottle today. My Doula said breast-feeding is like contractions... take it one at a time. I'm not a professional, I'm not even an experienced mom, but it seems one bottle no matter how you do it isn't going to mess things up and if it means you don't lose your mind, that's the win!

    Also, I'm not sure if someone has already entered this for you, but my IBCLC said if I want to pump to pump for about 10 minutes after I breast-feed.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    Yes. I have to. Im falling apart.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jessicanewmom View Post
    One other thing: can you enlist your husband to take care of everything tonight? I mean everything so that you get to just sleep for maybe two or three hours? I think one block of sleep might do you wonders. Just a thought.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    Maybe it's a growth spurt or something... because even when dad manages to give her a bottle she wakes up soon after... otherwise I would totally do it.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    Maybe it's a growth spurt or something... because even when dad manages to give her a bottle she wakes up soon after... otherwise I would totally do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    At 7 weeks I would feel comfortable introducing one bottle a day. And I did. At 5 weeks actually. And after dinner I got two hours of freedom becaue of that bottle. Use it to take a 2hour nap.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    It was part of our every day routine. Don't dismiss it so quickly. If you leave a child with a responsible other parent and food there is nothing to worry about. EVEN if she is going through a growth spurt, a bottle of pumped milk and a set up 1-2 hour break in the evening is workable and reasonable. When I started doing it my son was cluster feeding for 5hours straight everyday from Midnight till 5am. And it was when he was 5weeks old and we also had not mastered side lye nursing. So that meant every night from midnight until 5am I had to be sitting up feeding him. Being able to nap or rest for 2hours before that made a huge difference. As did KNOWING EVERYDAY that there was a light at the end of my tunnel. That holding and feeding my child was not an endless thing that would go on forever. IT DID go on forever. But every day 22hrs in a I had a break that I could count on and look forward to. I was providing the milk so it didn't damage my supply and my child and DH got to bond over food.
    Seriously all the advice in this thread is BTDT advice that has worked for women who have successfully made it through this space that you are in. The overwhelmed feeling of it being a nonstop 24hour job. Which motherhood is. But if you act like nothing is going to work, no matter what, where does that leave you and you child in terms of being successful at this? It's normal for her to want to be with you nonstop. It's normal for her to be more attached to you than anyone else. It's even normal for her to eat every hour around the clock. So where does that leave you? If you are feeling overwhelmed and like something has to give the only thing you can do is rely more on your partner. There is no magic answer at this age. It's a very overwhelming time where most of us spent months on the couch in our PJs nursing all day. That's what it is. If you need more rest to continue, the only way you can safely do that is to carve out time when your partner is home.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    I was thinking last night (at 3am while nursing) that another thing you could maybe try is sending your husband out of the house for an hour with the kids. I hear you about not being able to sleep while baby is crying. Impossible, right? But maybe if husband took them on a drive or somewhere (who cares where) for an hour in the evening and you got to be your own self or sleep or do something other than nurse -- that could do a world of good.

    Any reason why a pump isn't an option? Getting my milk supply up was a big part of making nursing tolerable. Of course there are still many days when it's just round-the-clock. Today seems to be shaping up to be one of those days. But at least *some* days are better.

    Whatever it takes you've got to take care of yourself!! You've got to for your baby's sake. (I say this as much for myself this for you.)
    Last edited by @llli*jessicanewmom; December 29th, 2013 at 10:55 AM.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    Thank you for your kind, supportive words and additional suggestions which is what someone in my position needs. You are very sweet!

    I will take your advice and try sending them out as not hearing babys fuss/cry will help tremendously in me being able to sleep.

    I will also start pumping again as last night was a disaster in terms of supply. If I have a better supply, maybe she will feed better and sleep better...

    This morning I told my husband that I needed to nap and not to wake me up but I woke up on my own 1.5 hours after fallin asleep! My body was done sleeping, it must have thought it had a full nights sleep. That's how sleep deprived I've been.

    Thanks again!

    M
    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jessicanewmom View Post
    I was thinking last night (at 3am while nursing) that another thing you could maybe try is sending your husband out of the house for an hour with the kids. I hear you about not being able to sleep while baby is crying. Impossible, right? But maybe if husband took them on a drive or somewhere (who cares where) for an hour in the evening and you got to be your own self or sleep or do something other than nurse -- that could do a world of good.

    Any reason why a pump isn't an option? Getting my milk supply up was a big part of making nursing tolerable. Of course there are still many days when it's just round-the-clock. Today seems to be shaping up to be one of those days. But at least *some* days are better.

    Whatever it takes you've got to take care of yourself!! You've got to for your baby's sake. (I say this as much for myself this for you.)

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    I have flat nipples so I dont see how I would be able to nurse without the shield... Even a lactation consultant confirmed my flat nipples... she did not recommend the shield but could see there was a problem with my nipples. She squeezed my breast very hard in order to form something for baby to latch onto but it didnt work...
    Basically everyone who is given a nipple shield (including me) is told they have flat (or inverted) nipples. This is, after all, what nipple sheilds are for- to temporarily help a baby latch who cannot latch in the newborn period due (it is suspected) to their mothers nipple shape OR baby's mouth. What we are not always told is this is almost always a temporary situation. In the early days, nipples not protruding and/or not getting 'erect' or hard can be caused or exacerbated by mom taking pain meds, engorgement, edema (from fluids given during labor) etc. Pain when nursing will also exacerbate this sometimes, as will discomfort of any kind, which is why having a stranger, no matter how nice and well trained they are, squeeze your breast, will not always have the desired result. Nipple hardening is a normal hormonal reaction to the presence/touch of baby and anything that suppresses that hormonal reaction can make nipples seem flat or exacerbate any actual physical flatness.

    Even physically "flat' nipples-nipples not affected by the above that are simply a 'flat' (or inverted) in shape- are often 'drawn out' over time by the actions of nursing and pumping. At the same time, as baby gets bigger and better at latching, baby is more able to latch onto the breast even if the nipples are on the flat side.
    If the nipple shield makes it possible to nurse, when otherwise it is impossible, then by all means keep using the shield. But for most mothers and baby's who use them, shields are a temporary solution to what is a temporary problem. Weaning off the shields takes some time and patience but it almost always can be done.

    Pumping (after nursing or at other times) is typically recommended in order to keep production in good shape while using shields. Not all moms need to pump when using shields but some do. I do not want to add to your burdens but if you truly are having a reduction in production it might be helpful to pump with a good pump as much as possible. It does not have to be for long each time.

    more reading on nipple shields - http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/wean-shield/

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    I find your response not helpful at all but rather condescending. It is full of judgements and you thinking you know everything about my situation "there is nothing to worry about", "EVEN if she is going through a growth spurt, a bottle of pumped milk ...//... is workable and reasonable" "Seriously all the advice in this thread is BTDT advice that has worked for women who have successfully made it through".

    I find the following words especially disrespectful and ignorant: "But if you act like nothing is going to work". Every situation is unique and sometimes, temporarily, nothing works. Here is a sample of my responses where I was indicating that I would be taking in others advice: "Good idea. Thank you." "Thanks for your advice." "Yes. I have to. Im falling apart."

    It was part of YOUR routine. Just because something worked for you doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone else, I hope you can understand and accept that.

    Leaving this thread now.










    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    It was part of our every day routine. Don't dismiss it so quickly. If you leave a child with a responsible other parent and food there is nothing to worry about. EVEN if she is going through a growth spurt, a bottle of pumped milk and a set up 1-2 hour break in the evening is workable and reasonable. When I started doing it my son was cluster feeding for 5hours straight everyday from Midnight till 5am. And it was when he was 5weeks old and we also had not mastered side lye nursing. So that meant every night from midnight until 5am I had to be sitting up feeding him. Being able to nap or rest for 2hours before that made a huge difference. As did KNOWING EVERYDAY that there was a light at the end of my tunnel. That holding and feeding my child was not an endless thing that would go on forever. IT DID go on forever. But every day 22hrs in a I had a break that I could count on and look forward to. I was providing the milk so it didn't damage my supply and my child and DH got to bond over food.
    Seriously all the advice in this thread is BTDT advice that has worked for women who have successfully made it through this space that you are in. The overwhelmed feeling of it being a nonstop 24hour job. Which motherhood is. But if you act like nothing is going to work, no matter what, where does that leave you and you child in terms of being successful at this? It's normal for her to want to be with you nonstop. It's normal for her to be more attached to you than anyone else. It's even normal for her to eat every hour around the clock. So where does that leave you? If you are feeling overwhelmed and like something has to give the only thing you can do is rely more on your partner. There is no magic answer at this age. It's a very overwhelming time where most of us spent months on the couch in our PJs nursing all day. That's what it is. If you need more rest to continue, the only way you can safely do that is to carve out time when your partner is home.

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Sleep Deprivation - Need Advice - Please Help

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sarasmith View Post
    I find your response not helpful at all but rather condescending. It is full of judgements and you thinking you know everything about my situation "there is nothing to worry about", "EVEN if she is going through a growth spurt, a bottle of pumped milk ...//... is workable and reasonable" "Seriously all the advice in this thread is BTDT advice that has worked for women who have successfully made it through".

    I find the following words especially disrespectful and ignorant: "But if you act like nothing is going to work". Every situation is unique and sometimes, temporarily, nothing works. Here is a sample of my responses where I was indicating that I would be taking in others advice: "Good idea. Thank you." "Thanks for your advice." "Yes. I have to. Im falling apart."

    It was part of YOUR routine. Just because something worked for you doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone else, I hope you can understand and accept that.

    Leaving this thread now.
    If you don't try things, then they FOR SURE won't work for you. My advice is meant to make people successful at breastfeeding. By giving you factual information. I stand by everything I posted. Take what works for you and leave it if it doesn't. But you can't really say that something won't work for you if you don't try it. My situation was not unique and neither is yours. I am not the only person here who has successfully carved out "ME TIME" everyday by pumping milk and giving it to a partner. You sound like you are struggling. When faced with that I give women suggestions of things I KNOW work. Not just from my personal experience but from years of being here and seeing what helps. If you are at the point where 1.5hours feels like a lot of sleep, being able to look forward an uninterrupted break everyday might help you succeed. In terms of WHAT advice you take or what language you use to let people know, I am not overly invested in you taking my advice. I am however invested in seeing people succeed at nursing. And the space you are in we have all been in. I have seen plenty of people here shoot down all the suggestions given. Those people usually begin supplementing. This early, that slippery slope leads to failure more often than not. I don't want you to fail. I don't want anyone else who comes to read this thread to think that being tired or having a baby who wants them 24/7 to think that THAT is a reason to begin that cycle. This time is overwhelming. For everyone. Not just you. My advice is based on what I did and what I have seen work for MANY dyads. As I said before take what works for you and leave the rest. In terms of successful breastfeeding, usually feeding the baby on demand around the clock works. The problem is, how overwhelming that can be. I get it. That's why I suggested working in a break you can count on everyday. If you have a partner, the sooner you get your new needs met the better equipped you are to meet your baby's.
    Last edited by @llli*djs.mom; December 31st, 2013 at 04:38 AM.

    Way too lazy for formula

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