dd and i have been a hardcore bfing couple since she was born. she was slow to start solids and would probably still be nursing exclusively if mamma was up for it (shes 23 months old btw).
but alas mommy's priorities are starting to shift. up until this point i prioritized the bfing over a new pregnancy, but now dh and i really want to get pregnant again, God willing.
i definitely don't want to wean abruptly, but last month i started to eliminated a couple feedings and AF came back. i was really excited because i thought i would be able to continue nursing and get pregnant. dh and i tried but the PT came back negative and then dd got sick and started nursing a lot, so my body relapsed into unfertilism (is that a word?).
now that the sickness has passed i'm trying to slowly eliminate again, but this time dd has been balking big-time. shes mastered the art of tantrums and won't hesitate to throw one and keep throwing it until i cave in. i really dont like to cave in bc i dont want her to think if she throws one she'll get whatever it is shes tantruming for, but on the other hand i'm sensitive to her needs and if it means that much to her i dont want to withhold.
anyhoo, now i'm really torn about what to do. if she goes on like this, who knows how long it will be before AF will come back again. i hate it that there is a power-struggle involved in bfing now. i could just "wait until the phase passes" but i really would like to get pregnant sooner
rather than later, and if this is the "terrible twos" theres not way i want to wait another year before a new pregnancy! i have moments where i'm just like "forget it ill just keep nursing" and then other moments where i just want to wean her cold turkey (although i would never really do it).
i know the mantra amongst us LLLers is that i should listen to her needs and just let her wean when shes ready, but i have to be honest with myself that part of me is growing really frusturated and bitter and ready to throw in the towel, albeit in a gradual way, not bc i dislike nursing but because i dislike her behavior that is surrounding the
"compromise" i am trying to implement.
any advice would he greatly appreciated!