BF 3yr old is getting painful! Help!

[@llli*zmama]

LLL friends,

I have had a lovely nursing relationship with my DD who is now 3, sans a rough beginning. I am so blessed by my child & all the wonderful memories we've made as a nursing dyad. I'm proud of us! What a joy to know that my physical being & presence brings so much joy to her- she still wants to nurse so much. My goal after reaching 2yr has been to allow our nursing relationship to continue until she self-weans. And it doesn't look like that's anytime soon. This wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't starting to cause me significant pain.

The pain is really only with the night nursings when she lays down with me. I have tried for months to put her to bed in her own bed or mine without me to steal some time with my husband. But often, after 2 hours of struggling to get her to bed, she's still nursing whether in the rocking chair or finally in my desperation in our bed, and my arms go numb, my neck/shoulder muscles are tight/sore. I can't keep this up. She doesn't nurse much if at all during the night, it's just the challenge of getting her to fall asleep. When she wakes in the morning, we can nurse for an hour & it doesn't bother me. But the pains at night are making it hard for me to sleep. And I often feel like weaning her because of it, though she cries these sad cries when I try to unlatch her.

It's making me feel like an awful mom, leaving me with negative thoughts about nursing which saddens me because I want this to end on a beautiful note after all we'd been through to get it going.

Thanks for 'listening' to my situation. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[@llli*karrieperry]

LLL friends,

I have had a lovely nursing relationship with my DD who is now 3, sans a rough beginning. I am so blessed by my child & all the wonderful memories we've made as a nursing dyad. I'm proud of us! What a joy to know that my physical being & presence brings so much joy to her- she still wants to nurse so much. My goal after reaching 2yr has been to allow our nursing relationship to continue until she self-weans. And it doesn't look like that's anytime soon. This wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't starting to cause me significant pain.

The pain is really only with the night nursings when she lays down with me. I have tried for months to put her to bed in her own bed or mine without me to steal some time with my husband. But often, after 2 hours of struggling to get her to bed, she's still nursing whether in the rocking chair or finally in my desperation in our bed, and my arms go numb, my neck/shoulder muscles are tight/sore. I can't keep this up. She doesn't nurse much if at all during the night, it's just the challenge of getting her to fall asleep. When she wakes in the morning, we can nurse for an hour & it doesn't bother me. But the pains at night are making it hard for me to sleep. And I often feel like weaning her because of it, though she cries these sad cries when I try to unlatch her.

It's making me feel like an awful mom, leaving me with negative thoughts about nursing which saddens me because I want this to end on a beautiful note after all we'd been through to get it going.

Thanks for 'listening' to my situation. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

If you are starting to resent the situation then it needs to change! Your daughter is 3, and very likely capable of understanding if you say no. I would say it's time for your partner to get involved with bedtime if possible. If that's not possible it might be tougher, but that's where I would start. My oldest is 3, and she went through a terrible phase of 1 hour screaming fits at bed time. I think she was 2.5 at the time. She would giggle and laugh and come out of her room (she has a twin bed). Nothing worked, and we simply kept saying "it's time for bed" and we would nicely carry her back to her bed. We repeated this 100s of times I bet. And eventually she gave up and went to sleep.

It may end up that you need to try something similar with your daughter. She is 3, it is 100% OK for you to set up limits, whether it's with nursing or anything in her life. The other thing that works is consistency. Or, you could tell her, OK honey, we are starting a new bedtime routine. You can nurse while I read to you (or sing, or for a number of minutes) and then it's bedtime. Then you have to say no. Trust me, she will come around! It may take a month or a day, but she will. Resenting your nursing relationship is no fun and hopefully not necessary.