Hi ladies, I've gotten a lot of helpful advice here over the years and now I'm back again
My DS turned 2 a couple of weeks ago, and DH has made it clear to me that he's only 'tolerating' me nursing at this point, he doesn't really support it any more. He thinks it's 'ridiculous' that we still nurse as much as we do (4-7 times a day) but won't push active weaning until DS turns 3. I pointed out that one of DS's friends just weaned last week (mother led weaning, I think--same age as DS) and DH says to me, 'you're telling me that to make me see that nursing is still normal at his age, but what it says to me is that kids his age are starting to wean'. :/ not the reaction I was hoping for. I wanted to point out that I'm pretty sure this was mother-led weaning and not child-led, which would be my preference for DS, but I didn't.
I'm figuring some of you have probably dealt with a similar reaction from your partner at some point, and I'm wondering how you dealt with it. Is there anything I can do to make DH see that nursing is still beneficial at this point? I'm not ready to actively wean and neither is DS I've started cutting some sessions and putting some limits on when we nurse and I have mixed feelings about that. I'm happy not to nurse 6 times in the morning while I'm trying to get in the shower and get ready for work, but it doesn't feel good having to say 'no' to DS over and over. He doesn't seem overly upset when I say 'no'--sometimes he even giggles, like he wasn't serious asking--but he does keep asking, over and over. We're down to 4-5 daytime sessions now (plus 0-2 overnight) and I'm not feeling good about cutting it any further despite DH's feelings.
I don't want him to feel that his input as a father doesn't count, but ultimately I feel this affects DS and I much more than it does him. I also think DH might miss nursing once it's gone--no more easy way to soothe DS at night or put him to sleep, and once DS is nightweaned I fully expect DH to share the nightwaking, which he doesn't really do now. He was up with DS once for a few hours last Saturday night and is still complaining how tired he is, four days later Never mind I've been doing this every night for 2+ years...Anyway, I don't think he'll deal well with sharing night waking.
How do I protect our nursing relationship, without causing discord with DH and while still respecting his input as a father? He is a really great father (and husband!), very hands on with DS and very loving, and I don't want him to feel his say doesn't count, but I also don't want to wean before we're ready, or cut back further on nursing right now.