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Thread: Emotional....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    12

    Default Emotional....

    I am having so many mixed emotions and i'm not sure how to deal with them or if they are normal. I posted a couple days ago about my 10 mon. old having a nursing strike and all I can say is I am so SAD, I cry every evening while rocking him to sleep. I am just not sure how to let go. Is there anything that has helped you with these intense emotions? Does it get easier? I feel that I am in limbo because I am praying with all my heart that he comes back. I DO NOT want to give up on it, but I just worry that it is delaying my ability to move on. Why is this so HARD. I guess maybe it is because I never expected things to end this way. I was and am NOT ready to be done breastfeeding. However I have to respect him IF he is.

    As far as getting over a strike goes I currently do not co-sleep and haven't since he was first born. I am wondering if this maybe something I should try before I give up for good? I plan on pumping at least until he is a year old so I can't say that between now and then he won't come back to the breast. How long is too long to keep trying? I'm sorry to be all over the board I am just having trouble making and keeping a plan with all of these up and down emotions.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    344

    Default Re: Emotional....

    Aww, hranee. I'm so sorry you're experiencing the, frankly, incomparable upset of a baby resisting nursing. I'll keep you and your son in my prayers.

    I definitely think that it's worth a try co-sleeping. I co-sleep with my 2-year-old son and recall having success dream feeding during times where he was fussiest or most averse to the breast. Side lying is a forgiving position and it gives baby great access to milk all night. It's such a wonderful way to snuggle your son close, even if he chooses not to nurse.

    The important thing is that you keep your steely resolve and persist even when you feel like giving up. You need to know that you've done everything humanly possible and to trust in your ability to mother your son. Many children ultimately come back to the breast after a strike, and your son may well be one of them! Keep offering. It's completely understandable that you feel so strongly about nursing, and I think it reflects what a dedicated mother you are. There is a strong possibility that you will be successful, so try as much as possible to remember that when you attempt to latch.

    Wishing you love, endless baby snuggles, and successful and enthusiastic nursing! Hugs, mama!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,643

    Default Re: Emotional....

    with the PP. A lot of kids who resist nursing during the day will nurse at night when they are too sleepy to put up a fight.

    Weaning- not that what you're going through is necessarily weaning!- is always emotional, no matter when it happens or who instigates it. There's a hormonal component to the experience, even if you continue to pump. Be patient with yourself and forgiving of yourself. There's no reason to feel like you have to "move on" right now. Keep this open and relaxed. No need to think of breastfeeding as something that has a definitive end date.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Emotional....

    My daughter during in the middle of the night and naps during her extended nursing strike. I had to catch her when she just started stirring before her eyes were open.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Emotional....

    Strikes are SO nerve-wracking. But do keep in mind that there is a difference between baby striking and baby weaning. And it's not unusual for a strike to go on for some time before it resolves - I guess what I am trying to say is, hang in there - I suspect that baby WILL resume nursing. I don't think there actually is such a thing as "too long" - since you're already committed to pumping for the next couple months at least, why not continue to offer the breast throughout that time? Offering the breast in a low-key way in no way indicates lack of respect for your baby. And I also agree with PPs that offering the breast when baby is sleepy can be very effective - I like your idea of co-sleeping.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Emotional....

    It’s normal to feel sad about weaning, no matter when it happens. And of course a nursing strike is going to feel very sad and frustrating.

    I think it is important to not equate the two things, however. Weaning from the breast is the end of nursing for all children. It is typically a gradual process- It starts with the first time your child takes a bite of food, & it varies tremendously in age that it ends. It is a normal part of nursing and happens to all children.

    A nursing strike is different. It does not happen to all babies. It is typically sudden. It typically happens late in the first or early in the second year of nursing. It can last a day or two to several weeks or months. It may or may not have a physical or emotional cause. Of course, a strike may well LEAD to weaning, as, in some cases, baby never nurses again. But a strike of a few days or weeks need not yet be considered weaning. It is a breastfeeding problem that may or may not be solved, but there is nothing wrong with trying to find a solution, as often there IS a solution.

    So I would suggest, there is no need to be concerned you are not 'letting go’ or ‘moving on.' I would suggest, doing what is right for YOU, emotionally, and if that means making peace that this IS weaning for you and your baby and not trying to encourage your child to nurse any more, ok. But aside from that possibility for you, there is truly no logical reason a mother in this situation needs to 'let go' or 'move on.' Instead, a strike can be approached as any other breastfeeding problem (because that is what it is) that may very well resolve with time and patience (for yourself and baby) and some trying of different things.

    I think sharing sleep or otherwise encouraging baby to nurse in his sleep, back to sleep, or upon waking etc. is a very good idea. It not only may help with the strike, it may be comforting to both of you during this difficult time.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; November 20th, 2013 at 01:32 AM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    12

    Default Re: Emotional....

    Wow, I can not thank you all enough for your thoughtfull and helpful words and it has made this stressful time a bit easier. I do have another question/problem as you could guess my milk supply has really suffered with all of this stress and anxiety. I am taking fenugreek and drinking mothers milk tea. I am shocked at how my mer has slowed and changed, it took me 6 min this morning to get milk flowing. I was so stressed after work yesterday that my pumping at 1am I got ZERO. That has never happened to me. I usually am able to pump 3-5oz at a time. I do not want to further damage my supply. Do you think I can get it back up even without nursing? I can tell a big diffence in oxytocin release. I'm sure stress is the most obvious issue. I know I need to RELAX and lay it at Chirst's feet. Thank you for any advice on this.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: Emotional....

    Yes pumping alone can help supply when baby doesn't nurse. Relaxing will help but it can be hard to not worry about supply! yes relax and pray about it. Do you have a nice pumping routine where you can look at pics of your baby, relax, visualize the milk flowing? It is so mental!
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    2,207

    Default Re: Emotional....

    Some moms find that thinking about baby or the milk helps, as krystine suggests; other moms find that NOT thinking about the process helps - for example, distracting themselves with a book or magazine, a movie/TV or music. So play around with different techniques. How many times a day are you pumping?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    12

    Default Re: Emotional....

    I am trying to get at least 6 pumpings in a day and I just started setting my alarm for one middle of the night pump. I would like to not only maintain but to increase if possible.

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