12 Months and Deciding What's Next

[@llli*payn0045]

My daughter just had her first birthday, and I am agonizing over what to do about breastfeeding into the future!

Currently, she breastfeeds when I'm at home, and I pump three times a day while I'm at work to give her EBM bottles at daycare M-F. She loves breastfeeding, and while she sleeps through the night in her own bed, she has never gone to bed for the night without breastfeeding. Weekdays, she usually breastfeeds in the morning and before bed, and sometimes right after daycare - so 2-3 times.

I am not ready to wean while I'm at home, but I am ready to wean from the pump (ideally no more pumping by the new year). Not quite sure how to proceed though. I have way too many things going back and forth in my mind!

1) Not too keen on giving her cow's milk. I find it gross and am not sure it's really very healthy.
2) We are vegetarian, which means we need to try harder on protein and iron. The protein angle is a good reason to add cow's milk, but the iron angle is a good reason to steer clear. She is so-so on solids. Some days she eats a lot, some days her food gets thrown at the dog. Her favorites are not necessarily the most nutrient-rich.
3) While I want to keep nursing, I am also interested in a second child. I am 35 and had fertility issues this time around. My main issue was fibroids, but even after that was dealt with, it still took a while. I got pregnant after taking Bromocriptine to bring down elevated prolactin levels. Makes me worry that ANY amount of nursing will be incompatible with pregnancy.

I would love to hear thoughts on what you did/would do!! Would it be unhealthy to give her water/almond milk/hemp milk at daycare with breastmilk in the AM and PM? Am I being silly about avoiding cow's milk, or will it actually do more harm than good given a lower-iron vegetarian diet? Or am I just overthinking it? Ha.

[@llli*filmmommy]

We're vegetarian. I am still nursing, and LO is 2 years. I still pumped until about the 18-month mark, just because we had a nanny and we still gave LO some EBM in a cup once a day. We also don't drink cow's milk (occasionally use it in cooking), although we do eat cheese and yogurt, but not all the time. Once she started refusing her one bottle, I stopped pumping. We switched to daycare at 21 months and I don't send milk of any kind to school most days. She just drinks water. Occasionally she's seemed like she wants to have milk with the other kids, so I would send those small packages of rice milk that don't have to be refrigerated. But she didn't drink them so I haven't sent one in a while.

My LO is a pretty picky eater, although has been doing better lately. Her iron levels have always been great, and she had cord clamped immediately at birth due to meconium. The pediatrician wanted her tested again a couple weeks ago, and she was at 13.9, which is pretty high. We don't obsess about iron, but I do try to be mindful that she eat a good variety of foods that have some iron in them -- she likes tofu, edamame, seitan, peas, carrots, dried fruits, quinoa and breads. So that plus the other foods she'll occasionally eat (like sunflower seed butter, eggs, hummus, etc.) seem to be working fine for us. As far as protein, again, I don't really obsess about it because I know she's eating a good variety of foods.

I don't know much about fibroids or fertility issues, but I do have to say that it took me 6 months to get pregnant with my first LO (at almost 35), and only one time trying to get pregnant again, and I'm still nursing, at nearly 38. Other moms here can give you help with the fertility problems you had, but there is hope that second time around is easier for some people!

[@llli*payn0045]

Thanks for the reply - that is really helpful. Does her daycare balk at her not having milk? My husband said, half-jokingly, that somebody would call social services if we don't give her milk.

[@llli*filmmommy]

Our daycare has all kids bring their own lunch, so I think that makes ours a little different. But we looked at others that almost insisted we use their meal plan, so we are happy we didn't have to go with one of those (although we have to drive 15 minutes away from our house, whereas the others were in our town). But you should be able to do what works for you guys. I know some other kids who are lactose intolerant at DD's school have rice or soy milk they keep in the fridge (can't have nuts at her school, so no almond).

[@llli*maddieb]

Why not plan on reducing work pumping sessions rather than planning to totally eliminate by a certain date? You may find that pumping once a day feels so much more doable than 3 times that you want to do it for longer. This would give you a chance to see how your body responds to the reduced pumping, and adjust accordingly. In some ways it is just impossible to plan this stuff ahead.

As far as the fertility issues goes, I am not an expert at all but I am a person who has had fertility issues and had 3 children post-age 35, so I had to think about this a lot esp. when trying to get pregnant with number 2 when my oldest was still nursing. So, based on the research and thinking I did over this issue-

It sounds as if your previous fertility issues were identified and a solution was found, and they had nothing to do with your age(?) If that IS the case, I would suggest, think about when, in an ideal world where you are not concerned about your fertility, you would want to get pregnant again. Now? In 6 months? In a year? In two years?

Then, I would suggest, do not assume you will have any fertility issues next time around. When you are ready to start trying, plan to speak to your ob or fertility specialist and have the relevant testing done then and deal with it at that point. Don’t wait forever, but do not assume that being 36 or 37 is going to be any more difficult for you to conceive than at 34 or 35. It is not as if some switch gets turned off at age 35. Statistics tell you nothing about YOU. But your personal experience DOES tell you something and here is what you know- Unlike a 35 year old who has never been able to get pregnant & does not know why, you know that you are able to get pregnant & carry a child, and you had a child at age 34(?) or 35(?), and 34 or 35 is not very different, even statistically, than a few years older. Sure you do not want to wait until you are 40 to even start trying, but waiting another 6 months or a year or so at this point is, statistically, very unlikely to change your ability to conceive and carry a child.

[@llli*m11612]

If you decide to stop pumping and send other milk to daycare you might want to look in to coconut milk. That is what my doctor and her specialist colleague recommend for children with dairy allergies. I'm sure you are already working to include leafy greens and other good foods in her diet for additional calcium and iron. It may be that when her body knows she needs more she will be more likely to eat foods with those nutrients (rather than feed them to the dog)

[@llli*payn0045]

Great advice! I'll see how the pumping goes once I start tapering down. Once a day a lunch might be doable for a while longer - we'll see.

As for the fertility stuff - you're probably right that a year or less won't make a major difference. It feels like 35 is some kind of breaking point, but there is still time.

I'll have to look into coconut milk. That's one that I haven't tried and am not too familiar with. We eat lots of greens, and she eats some. I'm hoping that you're right about her eating more of the foods she needs as her nutritional needs increase.

[@llli*debbers]

Great advice! I'll see how the pumping goes once I start tapering down. Once a day a lunch might be doable for a while longer - we'll see.

As for the fertility stuff - you're probably right that a year or less won't make a major difference. It feels like 35 is some kind of breaking point, but there is still time.

I'll have to look into coconut milk. That's one that I haven't tried and am not too familiar with. We eat lots of greens, and she eats some. I'm hoping that you're right about her eating more of the foods she needs as her nutritional needs increase.

Chiming in as one who works full time, still nurses (daughter is 16 months) and successfully pump weaned. Oh and I'm 44 if you need inspiration for having a baby later in life. I didn't conceive for 6 years. Eliminated all inflammation foods then went paleo and got pregnant. I know that's not going to work for a vegetarian just food for thought. Even cutting sugar and grains would be an anti inflammation move.

It took me a few months to wean from the pump. You cut out a session, go for awhile, eventually cut another and so on. If I have a business event after work I feel like I need to pump once late in the day like 3pm but maybe that'll end at some point too.
This has only happened once since I pump weaned. I nurse before I go to work, immediately when I get home, evening/night and thru the weekends.

We are not vegetarian (clearly ) but don't do any cow milk in anything and since she nurses I don't worry about it. We use a variety of fruits, veg and protein and fat (avocado, macadamia nuts) in our vitamix for smoothies

A good vegetarian iron supplement is Floradix by Floravital. Per my wonderful Ped who is both traditional and natural medicine you can give a baby that age between 5 and 10 ml a day and it's not hard on the stomach. Don't rely on leafy greens for iron without complementing with a vitamin C source, whether fruit or sweet potato.

[@llli*payn0045]

Thanks - she has her one year appointment next week and I believe they will test her iron levels. I'll look into the Floradix if her levels are on the low end - I know the more standard stuff can be pretty hard on the tummy and isn't absorbed well anyways.

We haven't given her smoothies yet. Does she just drink it from a regular cup? Cup throwing is still a pretty fun game around our house.

[@llli*debbers]

Thanks - she has her one year appointment next week and I believe they will test her iron levels. I'll look into the Floradix if her levels are on the low end - I know the more standard stuff can be pretty hard on the tummy and isn't absorbed well anyways.

We haven't given her smoothies yet. Does she just drink it from a regular cup? Cup throwing is still a pretty fun game around our house.

She loves drinking out of a straw. We have to hold the cup. Just bought some reusable dishwasher safe rubber straws at target last weekend