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Thread: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    43

    Default I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    My 3 month old doesn't even weigh 10lbs yet. We have done Ll sorts of test for failure to thrive and everything is good. Just waiting for results on amino acids. We came to the conclusion she just needs for calories so I nurse her then give her an oz of formula after and it is working. We had a follow up weight check yesterday and the doctor said give as much formula as she will take. The last few days as it is she has been fighting me with nursing hardly going 15 minutes but will take the bottle no problem. We have been doing this for a few weeks now. I feel like I'm failing at breastfeeding and like my baby. Doesn't want me anymore. I don't want her on strict formula i don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,643

    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    I am so sorry, mama! It's really painful when a mom is working as hard as possible on breastfeeding, and the baby still isn't gaining the way mom wants and deserves.

    If there's no underlying medical explanation for the baby's slow weight gain, then giving her more calories is the way to go. I don't see why those calories would have to come from formula when breastmilk actually contains slightly more calories per ounce. Do you have a pump, preferably a good double electric? If you need to supplement with bottles, there's no reason not to use your own milk. Have you tried that approach?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    I have. I have a Madela pump but I don't get any milk. I'm lucky if I get half an oz when I pump.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    2,621

    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...agename=doc-LA please read this about lactation aids, this is what I use to supplement my twins with donor milk so they don't get bottles. Babies are smart and they know if mom's flow is slow and the bottle is fast they'll choose the bottle. If you supplement at breast, though, they will still know milk comes from mommy, even if it has to be formula. Also look at the increasing your milk section to get some ideas on making more milk if you think your supply is low, like nursing often, certain herbs, certain foods all may help.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
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    1,885

    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    summermomma, have you met with a lactation consultant? i suggest finding an IBCLC who can talk to you asap.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*auderey View Post
    summermomma, have you met with a lactation consultant? i suggest finding an IBCLC who can talk to you asap.
    definitely
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    I have been working with one all along

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    What advice about supplementing have you gotten or about your supply? Can you ask about at-breast supplementing? I really really love mine. If you have to supplement.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    112

    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    Did the LC do pre and post weights? I wonder if it is low milk supply or a case the infant isn't transferring milk well. Often when infant isn't transferring milk well then low milk supply follows. There is a good website www.lowmilksupply.org with lots of tips to help increase the amount of breastmilk. I myself have used fenugreek and lactation cookies.
    Did this for 9months with Kailey and Hailey
    who are now 8.

    weaned Dane somewhere around 3.5 no longer he likes to sleep with his sisters He's now 5

    Now I am , , My baby Cruz who is almost 6 months and my last baby

  10. #10

    Default Re: I'm at SUCH a loss, I feel like I'm failing my baby :(

    Why are supplements thought needed? Low production? Or poor latch/suckling? Or both?

    Have you considered or have you tried using an at the breast supplementer for supplements? (lactation aid) This way supplements are given at the breast, and there is no nipple/flow confusion possibly contributing to breast refusal.

    If this were me, here are the questions I would be asking my doctor.

    Baby is small but entirely healthy. We know this because baby was tested for medical issues (I am going to presume thoroughly) and all of that (so far) was negative-correct? Baby was tested for disease and medical conditions that casue slow gain? What about B12 deficiency or iron deficiency, these cause a lack of appetite & thus, slow gain, I believe.

    OK assuming baby tested normal, here is what I am hearing:

    Baby gained slowly exclusively nursing, so formula supplements were ordered, because it was thought that the amount of breastmilk baby was getting was not enough. This is reasonable. Yet instead, the more formula supplements are given, the less baby nurses. Indicating baby's total food intake has not actually increased, (at least, not much)- instead, meals are simply switching from breastmilk to formula. A baby can only hold so much, and how much a particular baby needs varies, because not only are metabolisms different, individual babies may grow at vastly different rates and it is all normal. IF your baby was already eating what she needed, and you add formula (or more formula) of course baby is going to eat less breastmilk. If they are eating enough formula to have their needs met, then of course they are going to reject the breast entirely eventually.
    And that is one way baby's go from being exclusively breastfed to exclusively formula fed, a medically detrimental outcome.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; November 6th, 2013 at 06:38 PM.

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