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Thread: Where to from here...

  1. #1

    Default Where to from here...

    Hi all,

    I have just come over the 12 month mark, and besides being amazed that a year has passed already and how much my little baby has grown, I'm also amazed that I am still breast feeding.

    My question where to from here....stems from the fact that no one in my family or friendship circle ever breast fed past 3 or 6 months and I'm looking for some options. (or some answers to give them as they all seem to want to know my plan, and i don't have one is starting to run thin :-))

    We co-sleep and she only night nurses.....during the day she drinks bottle as I'm at work. (Gave up on pumping after 8 months.) I was thinking of weaning her completely as lately she's been very fussy at night and i worry that my supply is dwindling. Could it be why she some nights want to drink every hour? But i must admit i do enjoy the ease that comes with co-sleeping and breast feeding.

    Then I've also been wondering if co-sleeping now doesn't mean that she'll be in our bed forever..... I read somewhere that changing patterns for toddlers are much worse and i worry that i'm just making it harder for her later by preferring it for my sake now...

    Should i be considering night weaning or should i have some target?? Should I have a plan on whether she'll be using her beautiful cot sometime soon or just relax in the knowledge that I enjoy having her around at night....

    (Apologies for the rambling )

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    614

    Default Re: Where to from here...

    Congrats on making it this far! My own DD is almost 15 months, and I can't believe how the time has flown!

    I'm currently reading the book 'Mothering your Nursing Toddler' by Norma Jane Bumgarner, and so far, it's quite reassuring that toddler nursing is very normal. There's also some good info on how to deal with criticism from other people. First off, there's really no need to tell others your 'plan' for weaning, whether you have one or not. Depending on how close you are to the person, you could say 'we're working on it' and then change the subject. No need for specifics! For anyone with whom you feel the need to discuss it further, you can say something like 'I know that you have her best interests at heart. So do I, and nursing is so important to her right now.' You can also use the reason of teething 'it's the only thing that really seems to help when those molars are coming in!' or say 'her pediatrician is so happy that we're still nursing, it's so good for her'.

    Dr. Newman also has a great piece on nursing a toddler http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...arth&Itemid=17

    As for the cosleeping, I'm still doing that with my DD. I can't say that I really have a target in mind for when to stop that -she still nurses a lot at night, and it's so much easier to roll over than to get out of bed completely. I figure that she'll be out by the time she leaves for college, lol

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,637

    Default Re: Where to from here...

    It's totally normal for a toddler to want to nurse all the time at night. If the baby is getting plenty to eat during the day, she's probably not night-nursing out of hunger, but rather to help herself through the very normal sleep disruptions that come with teething and development. At a year of age, there's an excellent chance that your baby is working on either her canines or her 1 year molars or both at once. Ouch!

    IMO, it's a myth that it's harder to break patterns with an older child. In my experience, it's actually easier to change things with an older kid, because they can understand the goals better, and because they are able to accept a more varied set of comfort strategies. A young baby can really only be comforted by nursing or cuddling. An older child can also be comforted with a story, or a back rub, or a lullaby, or the promise of a reward in the morning if she will do something like sleep in her own bed. And daddy can take over a lot of the comforting as the baby gets less attached to nursing.

    If you enjoy the ease of co-sleeping and night-nursing, there is absolutely no reason to think that you need to make a plan to change things. Don't borrow trouble from the future. Just let everything unfold naturally- eventually your child will sleep in her own bed and self-wean from nighttime feeding, I promise! It just might not happen on a time table that fits your desires/needs. So if and when co-sleeping and night-nursing become a problem, then you go ahead and start making changes.

    ETA: I am sure your baby's cot is beautiful. Mine was also lovely. I never really used it for my babies, though. It was useful, but pretty much only as storage for clean and not yet folded laundry! I think a lot of nursing, co-sleeping moms will also say that the cot/crib was one of their less valuable investments. Oh well!
    Last edited by @llli*mommal; November 6th, 2013 at 08:05 AM.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    111

    Cool Re: Where to from here...

    [QUOTE=@llli*carm3;1325744]Dr. Newman also has a great piece on nursing a toddler http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...arth&Itemid=17QUOTE]

    carm3, mind if I share this on the news section of the forum? I love this piece.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    614

    Default Re: Where to from here...

    [QUOTE=@llli*garsmum;1325764 carm3, mind if I share this on the news section of the forum? I love this piece.[/QUOTE]

    Go for it! Although I have to confess, I didn't find it on my own, I think it was @lllimeg that originally linked it in another post. But I agree, it's such a nice, matter of fact way to approach the subject of toddler nursing.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Where to from here...

    Thank you so much for the great replies and I *love* the article.

    I think i should just follow the advice i usually give others - take a deep breath and relax in the knowledge that you know......


    PS: When i mentioned last night that i was wondering if i should transition her out of our bed my DH actually asked me not to! Even though he was very skeptical about the arrangement in the beginning it turns out he loves it now.

    Thank goodness the cot was a gift and all her teddies look lovely in it!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    344

    Default Re: Where to from here...

    Yeah, we're cosleeping at 2, with a crib that makes a great $500 clean laundry hamper/party decoration storage area. Biggest waste of $$ for us.

    I love that your DH is so enthusiastic about cosleeping! Personally, I love snuggling my little man! There's nothing better than having your child wake up and give you a big, contented smile as he reaches out to hug you and nurse. Be still my heart!

    My DH has been temporarily relocated and broaches the subject of moving DS into a crib every few months. Even at 2, DS simply does.not.transfer. My stock response: "When you start lactating and want to wake up every hour to bend over the crib and nurse him to sleep, be my guest." He may not be in the big bed with me, but he gets 8+ uninterrupted hours of sleep every night, so he has no legitimate reason to complain. We're going to get a second queen mattress for DS and I to sleep on futon-style in DS' room so DH can return to our big bed in the master bedroom.

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