Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Mom as a paci?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    54

    Default Mom as a paci?

    My LO is 11 weeks old and here is what has happened several times - Shortly after he finishes eating (or so I think), and in the evening mostly, he gets to a melt down point and the only way to soothe him is to nurse him. I'm generally fine with this and glad it calms him. However, is it typical for him to use me as more of a pacifier to soothe than because he's actually still hungry? I figure he was either too distracted when he was supposed to be eating to do what he needed or he just likes to calm down by nursing. We are on the tail end of his 3 mo growth spurt but this seems different than the regular hunger cries. My husband swears there is something else amiss but he never has a fever, no rash, no other signs of pain at all aside from his unstoppable crying (until I nurse). Has anyone else experienced this? Comments?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,939

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    Babies don't use the breast to stand in for a pacifier- they use pacifiers to stand in for the breast. The breast is the original all-purpose soother for a baby, and there's no reason not to use it as such.

    How long has the crying been going on? Does it happen every evening? Is it pretty much confined to the evening hours?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    No, not every evening. Probably only 5 times total and one was in the late afternoon but yes otherwise evening. The first time he was so upset we called the pediatrician. This is our second child and we hadn't experienced it before (turns out probably fussiness from vaccines that time). The way that you put it obviously makes sense as an all purpose soother. Just trying to get a schedule started for eating after this growth spurt is finished and hard to know when he's actually hungry and when he just wants to be calm. Need to just figure eachother out some more

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,939

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    Okay, then the crying isn't colic. (Colic is generally defined as inconsolable crying for 3 or more hours per day, for 3 or more days per week, for 3 or more weeks in a row, in an infant who is otherwise well-fed and healthy.) Nevertheless, the evening screams could be a developmental stage that bears some similarities to colic. A lot of babies whose cries don't rise to the level where they meet the criteria for colic still have episodes of severe crying and fussiness. This link from kellymom.com goes more in depth: http://kellymom.com/parenting/parent...fussy-evening/

    Some things you can do for fussy evenings:
    - Calm house. Lights, TV, and stereo turned down or off.
    - White noise- radio static, dryer sounds, heartbeat/breathing sounds
    - Motion- rock in a rocker, stroller ride, swing
    - Fresh air- take baby outside or just take him over to the window
    - Warm water- give baby a warm bath in the sink or take a bath with him
    - Nurse. Nurse nurse nurse nurse nurse.

    Coping with fussiness is all about changing the baby's sensory inputs. Nothing is likely to work for long, so you just keep changing things up. One thing stops working, you try something else.

    Finally, please don't think that an eating schedule will improve things for either you or your baby. First of all, a schedule doesn't help you know when the baby is hungry- it just forces him to wait, hungrily, until you're willing to feed him. Second, schedules are the enemy of milk supply. Milk supply is created by the baby's demand. Any time you space demand out to some artificial interval, your body is missing the cues the baby would otherwise have given it, and supply goes down.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    Thanks for the advice! All of this makes sense. I wasn't implying a schedule will change his crying/fussiness nor do I intend to make him wait to eat when he's hungry. Maintaining the right milk supply is my priority right now. However, we are big proponents of teaching a child how to sleep at similar times each day when the time is right. We coached our first son early on and today he is very well adjusted, well rested and an overall very happy and healthy little boy. IMHO it's all about balance. Thanks again for the input!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    When my babies are little and fussy I almost always nurse. 99 percent of the time they calm down. Comfort nursing can be trying for sure. I am learning how to nurse my son in a ring sling and Tula carrier so I can move about and help my older two while he soothes himself.
    Mommy to
    Ava 9.24.08 self weaned at 2.5
    August 8.19.11 still nursing, trying to wean gently
    Abram 9.12.13

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,939

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lmk2010 View Post
    I wasn't implying a schedule will change his crying/fussiness nor do I intend to make him wait to eat when he's hungry. Maintaining the right milk supply is my priority right now. However, we are big proponents of teaching a child how to sleep at similar times each day when the time is right.
    In that case, it sounds like you're looking for more of a routine than a schedule. I get freaked out by the word "schedule" because so often it translates into a rigid approach to feeding a baby- for example, stretching feedings out to every 3-4 hours or refusing to feed the baby overnight- and that often results in a tanking milk supply and an early end to breastfeeding. I totally agree that aiming for consistent bedtime and naptime routines are ideal for a lot of families! It's what has worked for mine. Bath, story, bed. Every night for the last 7 years!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: Mom as a paci?

    Yes routine is a good way to put it for sure! Thanks for the chat : )

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •