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Thread: Sharing a bed/ night feeding?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013

    Default Sharing a bed/ night feeding?

    My daughter just turned 3 and i am expecting my second child. My daughter and i still share a bed. I was wondering what others thoughts where when it comes to sharing a bed with there little ones?

    With my new one on the way i am beginning to wonder if i should have him in the bed with me as well. I know i sound lazy...(cause honestly sometimes i am) but having my child in bed with me is very convenient when it came to night feedings.

    My mother never breastfed me but she breastfed my much younger brother but she says sleeping with a child will only spoil them?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009

    Default Re: Sharing a bed/ night feeding?

    It won't spoil them. I'm not comfortable with my 4 yr old sleeping with my twins. She transitioned to her own bed during my PG. I sleep with my newborn twins but not with my older child now. Yes it's nice to not get out of bed to nurse.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Cleveland, OH

    Default Re: Sharing a bed/ night feeding?

    Safe co-sleeping rules state that the only person sleeping next to a young baby is the mother. If you want to attempt to sleep with both children you would have to make sure they slept away from each other, like on opposite sides of you, at all times.

    I would try to transition my older child out of bed, but that is based on my experience with my current 2yo, who rarely sleeps with us, but when he does he is all over the place and it wouldn't be safe.

    BTW, you say sleeping with your BFing kid is lazy, but I think you mixing up "lazy" and "practical".
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Sharing a bed/ night feeding?

    BTW, you say sleeping with your BFing kid is lazy, but I think you mixing up "lazy" and "practical".

    If you are lazy, I guess most of humanity for most of history were/are also lazy, because mothers sleeping with children has been the way of most of the world for most of history.

    I agree with pp. Other kids in an adult bed with an infant can be a serious safety issue as young children will tend to sleep very deeply, won't be in tune with baby like a breastfeeding mother is, and even if they were, have little or no ability to be gentle or understand the consequences of being on top of baby or putting blankets or pillows on top of baby, trapping baby between themselves and a wall, etc. Some experts who promote bedsharing in general suggest no older kids in the bed as a rule. But in real life, many families figure out some type of family bed situation.

    If you bedshare with both, I agree that you definitely want to be in between your children and aside from that, take common sense precautions as needed-you know your three year old.

    When my 2nd child was born his older brother was almost 3. We bedshared with the arrangement being husband, older son, me, younger son. we had invested in a king bed while I was pregnant, so there was room and it worked well.

    Later when the younger one was about 3, he wanted to sleep with big brother (who was in his own room by then) so they shared a bed at that point for a while.

    There are many options that preserve co-sleeping (room sharing) but are not bedsharing if needed- such as bringing a bed or mattress for your older child into your room, making a pallet on the floor for older child, or getting a sidecar sleeper for baby...

    Young kids want to sleep with/usually sleep better with thier parents because they are designed by nature to feel safer and more secure that way. They also have much shorter sleep/wake cycles, so tend to wake or almost wake much more often than older kids and adults and require comforting of some kind -even just reaching out and feeling mom there. Meeting a child's normal need for her mother's (or other parent's or trusted caregivers's) presence is not spoiling a child.

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