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Thread: Boob-Obsessed Toddler

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    59

    Default Boob-Obsessed Toddler

    Hi I wan't sure if I should post in the toddler section or in the weaning section so if this needs to be moved, I am sorry!

    I have 2.5 year old son who was weaned this past July at 28 months old. Weaning was a really smooth transition; we slowly decreased nursing naturally and then when we went on a 2 week vacation at the beginning of the summer he would fall asleep exhausted most nights and so nursing just naturally stopped.

    Everything went fine for the next two months after weaning until sometime in late August when all of a sudden he became totally boob obsessed. He never asks to nurse but he CONSTANTLY tries to touch my boobs. If he hugs me he bounces his face against them. If I pick him up he tries to run his hand across them and if I don't catch his hand quick enough he will pinch my nipple. He tries to put his mouth on them if I pick him up sometimes too. He asks me for a "hug" about 50 times a day (I am not exaggerating at all.. maybe underestimating!) and every single time I give him a hug he tries to pinch my boobs or nipples. I can't even just sit on the couch without him coming over and trying to sneak a grab.

    I know this doesn't seem like a huge deal but it has gotten so bad that I cringe when he asks for a hug or asks me to hold him. I realize that sounds extreme but it is absolutely constant. No more than 5 or 10 minutes go by throughout the day where I don't feel like I am defending my boobs from poking and prodding. It is making me feel violated almost because it is so unwanted. This morning I cried out of just sheer frustration with the whole situation.

    I have tried ignoring it and it gets way worse, almost like he feels he has permission if I ignore it. I have tried just talking to him about it, about how mommy doesn't really like to have her boobs pinched or whatever but the only thing that changed is that now when he is doing it he says "me not touching your boobs" even though he blatantly is. He also does that toddler thing where they look at you sideways while doing something to gauge your reaction so I know that he realizes that it is something I am not okay with. I even tried time-out one time even though that isn't a strategy I usually use but I just felt so angry at the moment and didn't know what else to do.

    I know this is very long-winded but it is just something I really want to fix! I feel so sad that when my little boy wants a hug or to be held that I cringe inside. I just want to be able to hold him or play with him without feeling violated!

    Any suggestions or just sympathy is greatly appreciated!!
    Proud mom of two boys!

    DS1- born 1/10/03
    and
    DS2- born 3/8/11


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19,878

    Default Re: Boob-Obsessed Toddler

    Ugh, that would drive me nuts. I totally understand why you feel so violated.

    I hope it's reassuring to you that this sort of thing is normal. Kids who were nursed- and even those who weren't!- often use the breast as a transitional object, like some kids use a blanky or stuffed animal. Any time they're feeling uncertain, or overstimulated, sad, emotional, etc., they make a grab for that transitional object. Even much older kids will sometimes bury their heads against mom's "pillows" when they're tired or sad.

    Now, IMO a gentle touch is okay and it's a good idea to put up with the more gentle expressions of your child's love for your breasts. The grabbing and pinching- not so much! So, dealing with that... My first thought is that your LO won't be able to pinch your nipple if he can't find it. So I'd pick a bra and a shirt that is good at keeping your nipples hidden. There are probably products on the market that would be good for preventing your nips from looking too sticky-outy. I would also make a blanket prohibition on pinching and grabbing. Any rough touching means that you stand up and walk away, while explaining that rough touching hurts mommy and you will come back when he promises not to pinch/grab. And I don't think you should feel bad about time-outs for pinching, if that's a technique you sometimes need to use.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,886

    Default Re: Boob-Obsessed Toddler

    This is a recent thread on this topic, with some more suggestions: http://forums.llli.org/showthread.ph...sed-2-year-old

    My LO isn't quite as obsessed, more curious/likes to play with my nipples, see if she can squeeze any milk out. I do move her hand away when it gets uncomfortable. But I can definitely imagine being very frustrated/annoyed with the behavior you describe.

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