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Thread: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    169

    Default Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year old

    My daughter will be 2 this month and she nurses pretty much on-demand throughout the day and night. In the last months she has adopted some nursing behavior that really bugs me. Soon after she starts nursing she puts her hand up under my bra (on the other boob she is not nursing from), lifts up my bra and shirt and exposes my whole other breast. She does this at home and also tries to do it in public. Even worse, she touches and strokes my other nipple which I often find really irritating. I have told her a million times not to touch the other breast. What I normally do is pull her hands/feet away when she does this, and I have also unlatched her and put her on the ground, where she cries. But I have not been very consistent about putting her on the ground every time.

    I think the reason this is happening is that I usually nurse her at the computer or while talking to my husband or a friend, where I become absorbed in reading/conversation and don't notice her sneaky little hands groping me. If I'm not paying attention, she'll get her feet in there too. She'll have a sleepy look on her face and I'll put up with the groping knowing it is only a few minutes before she falls asleep. The other night I looked up from a PDF I was reading to find she had fallen asleep with both hands and both FEET inside my bra.

    I guess that I need to be more consistent about unlatching her and putting her on the ground, if I really am to eliminate this irritating behavior? Please tell me it really is possible to eliminate? If I put her on the ground and she cries to nurse again, would you let her cry for a few minutes before nursing again? I usually pick her up again fairly quickly to nurse and it seems like the message is not really getting through.

    I have also tried giving her things to hold like stuffed animals, but it doesn't work. Yesterday she was fiddling with a plastic toucan for the first minute, and before I knew it my other breast was exposed and the plastic toucan was tandem nursing from the other nipple. And let me say that plastic toucans have a very irritating latch.

    Do you have any other ideas?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    try offering her other body parts that feel similar.
    Mine used to knead my nipple and it was so uncomfortbale and unpleasant but I was able to retrain him to use the folds of my elbow. I cannot remember exactly how old he was bit I think much younger than two, at most maybe 1 1/2 yrs.
    Anyway it took quite a while of each and every time moving his hand and putting it to the elbow instead but he still does it now with almost 5 to soothe himself, instead of nursing. I did not put him down or unlatch but just redirected his efforts. It will also depend on your size and dauthgters size. I am tall and have big boobs so when I sit my elbow is not much lower than my nipple. Also might try the tissue between index finger and thumb, a friends child uses that.
    As for the feet, he used to try and push them into my arm pit, which I did not like at all so i offered my upper thighs instead and that worked for a long time. It must ahev looed very odd, but it worked.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    379

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    DS loves handling my hair while nursing--he holds it, twirls it, tickles his face with it. It's a great solution for us.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
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    1,882

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    yep, at age 2 you just need to be much more consistent about enforcing the rules you want. there is no need for any of that if you find it obnoxious (and i sure did). nursing is a relationship - two sided! and 2 year olds are capable of learning basic etiquette. giving a substitute like PPs say might help, too, but mostly you need consistent enforcement of the new rules (and they'll be new to her since you haven't really been enforcing them).
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    Just be aptient and talk to her before your nursing sessions while making sure she looks at your eyes. If she can talk a Little ask her to repeat what you said. Give clear instructions nd short so she can get it. Children understand clear instructions at that age.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    17

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    I got the idea that maybe she wants you to pay attention to HER....
    Madre de Simona 24-10-12

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    379

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lupejazz View Post
    I got the idea that maybe she wants you to pay attention to HER....
    Great point. It's not an unreasonable request, either.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    416

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    My son just turned 2 and I have been struggling with nursing limits also (both with the nipple twiddling as well as when we nurse). I really think at this age, it's all about consistency. When I started being consistent about not nursing at certain times (e.g. when I'm showering and getting ready in the morning, when on the toilet, and when making or eating dinner) he "got it" really quickly--like in less than a week. I think the big problem I was having was I wasn't being consistent because I felt bad about putting limits on him when we've always nursed whenever he wanted, until now. But he's not a newborn, he's a toddler, and it's okay to limit nursing behavior that drives me batty! It took me getting to the point where I was just FED UP before I finally started enforcing some limits (cheerfully, kindly, and consistently). I now feel much, much better about our nursing relationship since I established some limits! Good luck with doing the same
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Tired of being groped while nursing boob-obsessed 2-year

    just wanted to say i also have a 2 1/2 yr old who drives me crazy with some of his nursing habits. it just takes telling them over and over, giving them your attention really helps. too often i am playing on my phone, etc and he needs some mommy time.

    also i can't help but laugh at the thought og a hand and two feet up in your bra too funny. she's a little rascal

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