Re: Is 10 MO too young to nightwean? LO doesn't nurse in the
Ordinarily, I would say " sure, go ahead and night-wean at 10 months, that's what I did". But I had a kid who was a frequent daytime nurser. You don't- and that's what worries me a bit about the situation. What if night-weaning turns into total weaning because baby isn't nursing enough during the day, or what if baby isn't getting enough calories overall due to low daytime frequency... Not saying these are things that WILL happen- just that they are possibilities which would be of concern, were I you.
The first thing I think I would do is to move out of the big bed. Let your DH and older child sleep by themselves for a while, and you and baby move out to a different mattress and maybe a different room. I know that I always was a more responsive nighttime mommy when my DH was in the room with us- I was trying to protect his sleep, getting to the baby before she could wake him up. Maybe once you're there, you'll be able to encourage some non-nursing solutions to the night-waking- like a back rub, or a lullaby, or whatever. Also, once it's just you and baby in a bed, maybe there will be less overall disturbance and she'll sleep a bit better.
If that doesn't work, then I say you don't need to be afraid of night-weaning. You just need to be careful with it- if less nighttime nursing isn't being matched by an uptick in daytime intake or baby isn't gaining weight the way she should, then you consider it a failed experiment and you go back to night nuring. It's just a couple of months before you've made it to a year, and maybe a few more before baby really picks up on her solid food intake and the worst of the 1 year teething is over (hopefully)...
I know sleeplessness and lack of help from your spouse makes this harder. I know that if my DH were working all day every day, the problems in our marriage would be related to that stressful schedule, not to the difficulties with sleep. It's so hard to come home from being "on" at work and go right into being "on" as a parent and spouse. Would it help if your DH had a defined period of time that was just for him- time to shower, check his e-mail, whatever- before he had to interact with you and the kids? I know my DH is much, much happier on nights when he gets a post-work shower!
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"