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Thread: New momma having major supply issues

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,628

    Default Re: New momma having major supply issues

    You have a ton on your plate and are doing a wonderful job. Things will be much easier when your precious son is home. Stress hurts my supply, I know. It's just all really hard.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,891

    Default Re: New momma having major supply issues

    Dear crissy.renae.

    You have been through (and are going through) an incredibly traumatic experience. No one else, not even other parents of premature babies, can tell you how you should feel or what you should do. This is your experience, your family, life. No one else's.

    So I hope and pray you can read what I am going to say next and not feel judged or condemned as that is not my intent, at all. But I am not speaking now as a fellow mother but as someone who has talked in depth to hundreds of new mothers in many, many types of situations, sometimes, very extreme situations.

    I may be way off. If so, nevermind. Please feel free to ignore me or tell me where to go.

    But I fear that the natural tumultuous and very difficult feelings-anger, fear, grief, etc. that occur strongly when a newborn is very premature or otherwise sick and fragile, are at work here. Mothers who have been through what you have may suffer from post traumatic stress, (or ongoing traumatic stress) as well as post partum and situational depression. So it might make sense to do a little research and maybe talk to your doctor about ppd and ptsd, which are treated differently as far as I am aware.

    I believe the hospital should be encouraging you to be as involved with your baby's care as much as you possibly can. If they are not, then you may need to advocate for yourself as a parent. But you have to be physically present to do these things. You need to be there.
    This may or may not involve touching or holding or skin to skin. But your presence is still needed.
    This is not about breastfeeding, or that is only peripheral. I would say forget breastfeeding if that would help you be in your baby’s presence more. I am talking about bonding - but not in some clinical sense. I am talking about feeling like a mother to your son in every sense you possibly can –to allow yourself to feel needed by him, and for you to need him, even though it might feel incredibly scary to do that.

    Even though machines and very well trained & educated medical staff are needed right now, they cannot now or ever be who you are to your son. I know that in your heart, your son takes priority over everything else. I know your colleagues and your students need you, but you know, not like your baby needs you. Even now. Some moms I have talked to with hospitalized babies said they felt unneeded, almost in the way- no. You are needed.

    You would certainly not be the first mother who thought she could handle being back at work shortly after baby came, thought it made the most sense financially and everything else, but then found it just was not going to work yet. If being at work is still preferable to you, ok. That is your call of course. But what happened yesterday? That was not about work. Maybe you just needed a break, which I totally get. But maybe you needed that break because you are piling more than you can handle on your plate.

    Yes it will get better when baby is home. But even though your baby is very fragile and in the hospital, your baby is HERE. Your baby needs you now. And you need your baby.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; October 12th, 2013 at 12:01 PM.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,628

    Default Re: New momma having major supply issues

    I agree with Meg and I don't know what you're going through just because I've had preemies in NICU. Because nobody can know exactly how any one feels in a certain situation...but I agree that your baby needs you. I don't regret all the time I spent at NICU with my sons. I needed to bond with them and they needed me and I was glad I knew at all times what nurse was in charge of their care. I know our situations were/are very different but I do wish you could spend more time with your little baby. And I agree, it's not all about milk, you're his mommy and you're much more than milk.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: New momma having major supply issues

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*chrissy.renae View Post
    My nipple also swells and draws in more areola through the pumping process. This has also happened with all flange sizes.

    Sorry entering the conversation late and I don't have much to add besides you sound like an amazing momma. However for this one little thing I might have a suggestion for? I have this thing you are describing too! I had a hard time explaining it to other people... is it like really elastic nipples? If it's like mine, it was hard to find the right flange size. I finally found something that works - a brand called Pumping Pals makes a flange that works a little bit different - it's made to draw in the whole areola and is a lot less like shoving a nipple into a tube. It made a world of difference for me. Just a suggestion that may help you... you can find it on amazon or http://www.pumpinpal.com/
    Last edited by @llli*Deedles253; October 16th, 2013 at 12:34 PM.

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