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Thread: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

  1. #1

    Default Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    I have plans to leave my 15 month old son with my husband for 3 days while attending my brother's wedding. He falls asleep in his crib but has been waking around 11:30, at which point I usually bring him to bed and nurse him. He then nurses at least 1-2 more times at night. He used to sleep much better months ago but seems to be up a lot any more. We did a trial today and I stayed away so that my husband could be with him all day. It didn't go well... he didn't take his second nap (which led to him falling asleep face first in his food) and he has been waking up a lot and crying and asking for "dat" aka boob.

    I think I should probably just skip the trip and loose the money that I spent for peace of mind and so that my LO and my husband don't have to go through the torture. Am I just being silly? I know lots of other moms have done this with success... but I just feel like that i am making a bad decision.

    Any thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    350

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    Can they come with you? Maybe you could work it out so that you're back at, say, your hotel to nurse frequently. Then you wouldn't have to worry about night time separation. And, you could pick and choose which parts of the event you attend depending on whether your LO is awake or asleep.

    If you feel it would be better not to attend, then maybe that's the right call. You know your child best.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,858

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    It's okay to not want to be separated from your baby. I would consider bringing the baby even if you have to fly. Under age 2, you don't have to purchase a seat, at least on US carriers. Your kid is a "lap baby" and can sit on you the whole time.

    If you do decide to leave baby with his dad, it's going to be okay. Really, I promise!!! They might have a rough 3 days, but your baby will eventually sleep and daddy will eventually find a way to comfort him when he wants "dat".
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    15

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    How do you feel about weaning? I have a friend who did this and when she returned (mind you 18 months, not 15 months) her daughter had decided to wean instead. If you are not ready to wean, just be mindful it could result. I think it would be wiser to bring baby with you But I'm sure he'll be fine with his dad too.

    Your instinct seems to tell you that you don't want to be separated though, I think I would bring your baby and maybe arrange some sort of brief caregiving (even swapping with relatives) during the ceremony if children are not allowed.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,626

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    I agree with trying to bring your baby and find someone to watch him during the ceremony or just step out or nurse him in there if he gets too noisy. I would hate for you to miss your brother's wedding. normally I'd say no don't go anywhere but it's a big deal for your family. I didn't leave DD until closer to 2 yrs and it was for one night with DH and they did fine. But before you commit to not going, try to see if you can bring baby along.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    520

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommawes View Post
    I have plans to leave my 15 month old son with my husband for 3 days while attending my brother's wedding. He falls asleep in his crib but has been waking around 11:30, at which point I usually bring him to bed and nurse him. He then nurses at least 1-2 more times at night. He used to sleep much better months ago but seems to be up a lot any more. We did a trial today and I stayed away so that my husband could be with him all day. It didn't go well... he didn't take his second nap (which led to him falling asleep face first in his food) and he has been waking up a lot and crying and asking for "dat" aka boob.

    I think I should probably just skip the trip and loose the money that I spent for peace of mind and so that my LO and my husband don't have to go through the torture. Am I just being silly? I know lots of other moms have done this with success... but I just feel like that i am making a bad decision.

    Any thoughts?
    My husband did AWESOME with our breastfed / co sleeping baby while I was out of town twice since she was born. Once in April when she was 9 mos and once last weekend at 14.5 months. She slept better in the bed with him than she does with me AND took a warm bottle of expressed milk at 2AM even though a few weeks ago she started refusing daytime bottles when I'm at work. (Now breastmilk gets snuck in smoothies during the day, after they're blended). I can honestly say I did not worry at all while I was away.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    Not the same scale, but I backed out of letting DD sleep over at her grandparents' a few months ago and I have never regretted it. Not saying what you should do, only that, if you do what you feel is best for you and your baby, it'll be okay.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,476

    Default Re: Leaving my co-sleeping 15 month for 3 days

    I just left my 19 month old, cosleeping DD3 with DH for 4 days. She did great. So did he!

    They know they don't get nursing with Dad. Dad needs to figure out his own coping techniques. DH has things he does with the girls to keep them happy and entertained. They wouldn't work for me, but I'm not Daddy.

    I would suggest that if he wasn't planning to, that he'll get more sleep if he cosleeps with her while you're gone. They'll figure it out.

    On the other hand, if you're not ready, you're just not ready. There's nothing wrong with that. See if you can take them with you, just take the baby with you. Or worst case scenario, cancel.

    I should also mention that my girl didn't wean. I crawled into bed with her when I got home (close to midnight). She gave a little whimper when she realized I was there and latched right on without missing a beat. It literally made NO impact on our nursing relationship.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

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