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Thread: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

  1. #1

    Default 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    I need help with my boy! I had got him down to nursing only in the morning and at night...as of 12 mos old. He started daycare at 13 mos. He is 14 1/2 mos now and has been sick one way or the other the last whole month. He is super clingy and has been since he started day care, but never was before.

    Starting last weekend he kept wanting to nurse, so I nursed him. Then again and again and again. By Sunday I told my husband, "you and him are going to need to go somewhere...AWAY from this house and away from me!" So they did. He was fine. When they came home I went grocery shopping. When I got home all he would do was cry for me to pick him up and then he would want to nurse. He nursed all night off and on until he went to bed. Of course I don't have enough milk to keep up with this, so I think he gets frustrated at this.

    He won't take his pacifier during these fits, which he usually uses his pacifier at night or if he is whiney he will want it. He won't take his sippy cup of milk. When I try to have him not nurse and offer a book to read or a game, he throws it. He throws his milk, throws his pacifier. He is teething. He has 3 molars and 3 maybe even 4 now other teeth coming in.

    I didn't want to ween him since he just started daycare I didn't want to stop nursing him too. However, there is no way I can go 10 days now of nursing every second that we are together. I normally read him 1-3 books a day and these last days he hasn't let me do anything with him!!! PLEASE HELP!!!! What could this be?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    401

    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    He's a normal child who is experiencing a normal need to reconnect with his mother.

    Children your son's age need the close physical contact and frequent nursing, both nutritionally and psychologically. Your decision to cut him off is making him feel insecure, which is resulting in the distress. By pushing him away, you are aggravating his insecurity and confirming his fears that going to daycare = weaning.

    You need to realize that he's going through a major upheaval and needs his mother. You also need to accept that, at least for the next few weeks, that close contact with you will ease his burden and help him adjust successfully to his new daycare arrangement. He's been sick, he's missed the center of his universe (you!), and has felt totally alone. Withholding nursing is, to him, the equivalent of you not giving him love.

    So, the solution? Nurse on demand!!!! The frequency, or at least intensity, will calm down once he's reassured that he can seek out love and comfort in the way he most values. Trust me--it's worth it to respect your child's demands. I have a 23-month-old who still nurses frequently, but with a carefree warmth, because he knows he can nurse whenever he wants. You'll both feel better for it.

    So pour a cup of tea, put your feet up, and snuggle and nurse your little one like you'll never stop. He'll feel the love, and this too shall pass.
    Last edited by @llli*alphawoman; October 4th, 2013 at 07:51 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    Oregon
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    15

    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    It sounds like from your post there are a lot of changes going on right now in your son's life- starting daycare, new teeth, and feeling sick. He needs his mama for comfort and probably some extra milk to help him with his immune system.

    I went away last week for a night for a business trip and since I got home, my son (12 months) has been nursing nonstop like a newborn, too. I'm guessing it was the change in routine. I know how exasperating it can sometimes be to have a baby constantly demanding to nurse. I agree with the advice above me- just nurse him for now. Once he adjusts to the daycare and moves past this teething phase- I'm sure things will get better for you.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    Anytime anything new happens I always have to step back and remind myself: this is just a phase! Night nursing is just a phase. Even nursing is a phase! Everything comes and then goes again and for me being present with that helps me embrace change and learning to make adjustments as a parent. Recently my son seemed to be self-weaning from night nursing, and he's only 12 months. Now I see he's at it again, and I just go with the flow. I experience a lot of anxiety as a mother and I did in my life prior too and I am doing what I can to not pass that along to my son as much as I can. Take care momma and know you are doing the right thing nursing him as much as he wants now because soon he'll be all done! I remember the sleep deprived first days of being at home with him from the hospital after he was born. I was crying to my DH "I can't get up every three hours for the rest of my LIFE!!!!" And then I was like, "oh, wait, this'll be over in about 3 months..."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
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    124

    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    Awww Mama, I hear your distress. Kudos to you for nursing him like a champ this weekend. It isn't easy but you made it through!

    Like everyone else said he's having a 100% normal reaction to change. Daycare? Illness? Molars? All at once? Oy!

    We started DD in daycare at the same time and she reacted by upping her nursing a ton. Nursing on demand definitely helped her through the transition. Last week she greeted me at pick-up time with an "oh no!" and ran away. They grow up so enjoy them now but also know that meeting their needs by nursing on demand helps to build their attachment with you, which is the foundation they need to become securely independent.

    You said you couldn't read to DS because of nursing. May I suggesting reading while nursing? We snuggle on the couch, DD latches, and I read. We can do this for up to 30 mins, especially after dinner. She's not drinking intensely the whole time but it is just a wonderful way to unwind, ease into the night, and spend time together. Sometimes her dad joins and will read a story too or tickle her feet. We also play counting games with fingers and toes and name body parts while nursing. She seems to take a lot of comfort from what we call her "social nursing" and generally just pops off when she's ready. After that she'll spend a good amount of time on her own so the time away from housework or other stuff is definitely well worth it. Besides, I'd much rather nurse her than work!

    Just like a newborn, meet the need as it arises, assure them that they have your strong attachment, and they will gain confidence and independence.
    Mama to Viv since 4/08/12 -- my all natural post-breast cancer miracle baby

    with just one breast. So far so good.

  6. #6

    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    Thank you everyone!! I'm not trying to "cut him off" or wean him. Well, I guess I was in a way because I was no longer wanting to pump twice a day at work. So once I stopped pumping and our bags of pumped milk ran out we were just down to morning and night nursings, maybe more on the weekends. My problem now is I can't keep up with his demand. I don't have the milk he is wanting in his latest phase of nursing so much more often. So he gets to my breast and drains both when I get home and then there isn't anything left for the rest of the times he nurses. THAT'S what frustrates him and causes him to cry. I just keep giving him my breast though and let him try. Tonight I took all of your advice and just kept nursing any time he wanted (even though I knew there was little to nothing in there). He was still fussy, but I hope it will subside. It's weird that he isn't fussy for anyone else but me. I used to be a milk hoss! I used to pump twice a day at 10 and 2 at work and pumped 20 ounces!! I bet if I didn't nurse him in the morning and tried pumping I wouldn't even have 3 ounces in there, now! My cups used to runeth over. Now I just have sad breasts. And that makes the boy sad, he wants MORE from me. Maybe this extra nursing will make me make more milk.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    2,214

    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*queennorry View Post
    Maybe this extra nursing will make me make more milk.
    Yes, that is exactly what is going to happen. A couple days of this nonstop nursing thorough draining and your cups will runeth over again!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
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    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    Yes, agree with what other posters have said. If you continue to nurse him on demand, your supply will adjust. Supply is very flexible. Just recently, my almost-two-year-old DS has majorly ramped up his nursing frequency (two-year-old molars!) and I can tell my supply has increased again because I suddenly feel full while at work, which hasn't happened in ages. I agree with others that this is just a phase, he's going through a lot of changes, and if you can be tolerant and understanding of his need to constantly nurse it will make it easier on him. This too will pass! Probably in a matter of weeks, maybe a month at the most. I remember my DS being about the same way around 14-15 months, nursing just like a newborn. Then again around 18 months, then again around 21 months, then again now...in between he would ramp down the frequency, but when he was getting new teeth or just needing extra comfort for whatever reason, he'd ramp it up again. It's all normal! I know it can be draining but do your best to be patient and meet his needs, including his need to nurse on demand. He needs you and loves you very much! The fact that he's only cranky around you, is because he feels most secure around you. Toddlers go through this as they grow--being able to nurse on demand is a reassuring sign to them that you love them, you're there for them, and when the world gets too scary and they're tired of being "big" they can come back to Mama and be little again for awhile. Personally, I think it's great. Hang in there!
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
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    Default Re: 14 months and nursing like a newborn

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*garsmum View Post
    I remember the sleep deprived first days of being at home with him from the hospital after he was born. I was crying to my DH "I can't get up every three hours for the rest of my LIFE!!!!" And then I was like, "oh, wait, this'll be over in about 3 months..."
    Too funny! And I can totally relate.

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