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Thread: Desperately need help... completely at a loss.

  1. #1

    Default Desperately need help... completely at a loss.

    So this is going to be really long. I'm at my wit's end, desperate for help. I've contacted LLL here and didn't get any replies. I can't afford any IBCLC LC's, and the hospital LCs won't help me.

    I have a 4 month old son who I'm trying so hard to EBF.
    He has a lip tie and a tongue tie but our hospital (the only one that accepts tricare) won't cut them until he's 6 months old, and when I told them we have a hard time nursing they said "just switch to formula. It's not a big deal."

    After he was born he was taken from me for the first hour without my consent, and when he was returned to me, he wouldn't nurse. The Hospital LCs told me that he wouldn't nurse for a few days and that was normal. And then they shoved him on my breast and walked awya and wouldn't help me any more.
    I went home, I struggled, but I kept up the best I could, despite a shallow latch, and the fact that his lips tucked in when he nursed. His lips actually blistered. They're still blistered... or really, calloused, now.

    A month postpartum I was still struggling, and ended up hospitalized for mastitis and retained placenta, with a fever of 104.3. I had a DnC, my supply ended up dropping dramatically, and that's when the screaming started. Every time I put him to breast he'd fight and scream and absolutely just freak out. My husband started giving him bottles, not being supportive. Not only that, but fast flow bottles. So of course, my son got even more frustrated at the breast.

    I started fighting to get my supply back up, to keep him latching, but it was just a constant battle. My supply dropped so steeply he would get dehydrated, even though I was constantly pumping, taking supplements, everything.

    When things started lookig up I got thrush, the thrush is now ductal, and the doctors won't believe me. I'm battling off mastitis, caused by the thrush, I assume.

    And suddenly, he just started refusing the breast today. Screaming bloody murder. Even with an SNS. I'm at such a loss, I'm trying so hard, and nothing is working.
    I'm at my wit's end and so desperate.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    304

    Default Re: Desperately need help... completely at a loss.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*autumnosaur View Post
    So this is going to be really long. I'm at my wit's end, desperate for help. I've contacted LLL here and didn't get any replies. I can't afford any IBCLC LC's, and the hospital LCs won't help me.

    I have a 4 month old son who I'm trying so hard to EBF.
    He has a lip tie and a tongue tie but our hospital (the only one that accepts tricare) won't cut them until he's 6 months old, and when I told them we have a hard time nursing they said "just switch to formula. It's not a big deal."

    After he was born he was taken from me for the first hour without my consent, and when he was returned to me, he wouldn't nurse. The Hospital LCs told me that he wouldn't nurse for a few days and that was normal. And then they shoved him on my breast and walked awya and wouldn't help me any more.
    I went home, I struggled, but I kept up the best I could, despite a shallow latch, and the fact that his lips tucked in when he nursed. His lips actually blistered. They're still blistered... or really, calloused, now.

    A month postpartum I was still struggling, and ended up hospitalized for mastitis and retained placenta, with a fever of 104.3. I had a DnC, my supply ended up dropping dramatically, and that's when the screaming started. Every time I put him to breast he'd fight and scream and absolutely just freak out. My husband started giving him bottles, not being supportive. Not only that, but fast flow bottles. So of course, my son got even more frustrated at the breast.

    I started fighting to get my supply back up, to keep him latching, but it was just a constant battle. My supply dropped so steeply he would get dehydrated, even though I was constantly pumping, taking supplements, everything.

    When things started lookig up I got thrush, the thrush is now ductal, and the doctors won't believe me. I'm battling off mastitis, caused by the thrush, I assume.

    And suddenly, he just started refusing the breast today. Screaming bloody murder. Even with an SNS. I'm at such a loss, I'm trying so hard, and nothing is working.
    I'm at my wit's end and so desperate.
    I am so sorry you are having such a rough time! First of all, I am not familiar with lip ties, but I know that you need to find a doctor who will do that for you TODAY. It sounds like your health insurance is an issue, is this why you have only checked into your hospital? Perhaps you could find a different doctor and set up a payment plan? I am a member of the MOBI support group on yahoo, they have tremendous support for mothers of lip and/or tongue tie babies. http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/art...bi-forums.aspx

    I'm sure you are aware that you received horrible advice from those LCs. It sounds like you really need some hands on help, and his lip tie needs to be repaired. If cost is an issue, I would urge you to explain your situation to a private (not hospital basd) IBCLC and see if you can work something out. I know a few in my area who are willing to trade other things for services, or they might just not charge you at all if you are in desperate need.

    Hopefully some others will chime in here, I wish I could offer more advice!
    and Mama to two little girls

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,637

    Default Re: Desperately need help... completely at a loss.

    Welcome to the forum!

    The first thing I have to say is, wow, what a struggle you have had so far!!! There are a lot of factors in your story that explain why you've had a hard time- bad hospital experience, terrible LC (unfortunately, a lot of hospital LCs are just nurses who have taken a short course, not real lactation professionals), retained placenta, lip and tongue ties, sabotage from your spouse, a frustrated baby, mastitis... The good news, I guess, is that at this point a lot of that bad stuff is behind you!

    In your shoes, here's what I would do:
    1. Call your local LCs and IBCLCs. Explain your situation, including your lack of funds, and ask if you can either get some pro bono help or negotiate a spread-out fee- e.g. you pay $5 a month for as long as it takes.
    2. If the LC/IBCLC angle doesn't pan out, call WIC. They often have breastfeeding counselors who may be able to help you or at least point you in the right direction for getting help.
    3. Contact your local LLLi again. Leaders tend to be busy mamas who are often just as overwhelmed as any other woman, and sometimes a call gets missed.
    4. Call your local dentists and pediatric dentists. They may be more comfortable with releasing tongue/lip ties than the hospital folks. (In fact, I just had my 7 year-old in to the dentist and he thinks she may have to have her lingual frenum cut- and he treated it like it was absolutely casual.)
    5. Review your contraception choices. If you're using a form of hormonal contraception, it could be negatively impacting your supply. There is good anecdotal evidence that even "safe for breastfeeding" hormonal contraceptives can have negative impacts for some women.
    6. Review your pumping set-up. Make sure your pump is a good double electric and that you have correctly sized shields.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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