This is my first delivery and had c section done. I had a very low milk supply, due to which my son got admitted in NICU. I got only few drops when the staffs demanded breast milk for my baby to be fed in NICU. As I got an inconsiderable amount, they substituted him with the formula. Though I was upset for my inability to feed him, in a way I felt happy and relaxed that he got some food. After discharged from the hospital, he still kept suckling my breasts; however will end up screaming as there was very low supply. We really could not control him. The time he spent on my breast slowly decreased and finally I felt only as a pacifier for him. He used to nibble on my breast and scream for milk irrespective of how many hours he had suckled. That’s how I slowly lost hope and gave up breastfeeding.
Later i was very upset for my inability and started pumping out milk for him. I was on domperidone and fenugreek capsules. Apart from that i tried barley water, oats, garlic pearls and galactagogue drinks. In spite of all these, i could hardly reach 6.5 oz a day. I tried my best and continued pumping until he was 8 months old. Then i reluctantly weaned pumping as he was more on solids.
My baby is now 13 months old. In the recent days he is not doing well. Was admitted in hospital for diarrhea. Lost so much of weight and looks always sick and tired. I feel so guilty whenever i look at him. I want to continue giving my milk even if it is a negligible quantity. Everybody around me is discouraging me that even if i try i wont get a good amount and that can never match his demand. Also they say that he is already into solids and more than a year old and doesnt require my negligible quantity of milk anymore. I feel so hurt to hear these statements. I really want to feed my son. It is all about confidence and hardwork. Apart from that a good supply also matters. I started taking domperidone. I dont know if i can latch him back but i can atleast pump and feed him. I have been pumping for 4 days and get only few drops. I'm so hurt. I feel this to be the biggest failure in my life. I tried all the possible ways that i had and ready to try even now. But i dont get a good supply. There is no light for me. Please help. Is it really worth trying now? Even if it is few spoons,will it help my baby at 13 months of age? What can i do to improve my supply? My baby now understands almost everything. I made him to lick few drops from my breasts. He was so happy and was demanding to get more. But i did not get beyond that. Also i was scared to put him to my breats as he bites me badly. I feel so bad. As of now, i'm only planning to pump, pls guide me. Thanks.