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Thread: Frustrated and about to give up :(

  1. #1

    Default Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Hello everyone! So here is whats going on...My son is 6 weeks old today and when he was born I was determined to breastfeed him for at least the first year. He was born on a Thursday and when we went to the hospital for a weight check that next Monday he had lost 14% of his weight. The doctor was concerned and since my milk had still not came in yet he told me to nurse on each side 10 min and then feed 2oz formula. I also started seeing a lactation consultant and with a lot of hard work he started gaining weight and my milk finally came in after almost 2 weeks.

    However his appetite is insatiable so I nurse during the day and then feed 2oz of formula at night. I kept feeding the 2oz at night because starting around 6pm (I call it the "bewitching" hour) he becomes extremely fussy. He literally is attached to my boob from 6 to 10 and still acts hungry! And when he is latched on he will fuss and jerk back with my nipple in his mouth which is extremely painful. I don't know if this is because my milk supply is less at night or if it's coming out too fast? He also will puke a lot back up at night as well. The past few days I've just thought about giving up all together since he seems so much happier after taking a bottle. I'm frustrated and stressed because I really want to make this work, especially with all the hard work I put in the beginning. I also have a great support system..my husband told me I made it this far and to not give up. Everything is fine during the day but I dread the evening time because of this. I've been giving him extra bottles the past couple days and now feel like I've screwed everything up! Help please?!
    Last edited by @llli*holcombj1211; September 19th, 2013 at 05:31 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Welcome to the forum, mama!

    I have to go clean my extremely grubby kids, but I will be back with some thoughts once they're in bed. Until then, please don't feel like you've "screwed everything up"- everything you describe sounds fixable. Hang in there!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Okay, the kids are in bed and maybe even asleep. Cross your fingers for me!

    The first thing I'm wondering about is your early experience. Your baby lost 14% of birthweight- that's a lot. Was he weighed in the nude on the same scale as the first time? And did you happen to have IV fluids during your birth? Was baby nursing okay in between birth no his second weight check- did nursing feel okay, was he passing his meconium, was he jaundiced at all?

    You say that your milk finally came in after 2 weeks. Can you explain exactly what you mean by this? Do you mean a) that you started seeing a lot more milk at 2 weeks (maybe feeling engorged or full, pumping more milk) or do you mean b) that until 2 weeks, you saw nothing but colostrum? This is a really vital question because for most women, mature milk production begins 2-5 days after birth. If milk production is delayed beyond that point, you want to start looking at possible physical explanations, like retained placenta fragments.

    Now, on to the present! It sounds like at this point you are nursing all day long except for 2 oz of formula given in the evening during that difficult "witching hour". Correct? If so, this is wonderful progress, and there's no reason to think that you need to give up on nursing. The evening screamathons aren't happening because your baby hates breastfeeding or because you have a supply problem- it really sounds like your supply is fine at this point! Fussy evenings are just a developmental stage that a lot of babies go through. Both my kids were evening screamers. Some things that worked for me:
    - Calm house. Lights, TV, and stereo down or off.
    - White noise
    - Motion- rock in a rocking chair, stroller ride, swing
    - Swaddle
    - Nurse nurse nurse nurse nurse (if baby is willing, and even if it causes a massive spit-up!)
    - Trip outside into the fresh air
    - Warm bath

    As you may guess from the above list, coping with fussy evenings is all about changing the baby's sensory inputs. Nothing is likely to work for very long, so you just keep switching it up!

    Finally, don't get stuck in the mindset that bottles make your baby "happier". Bottles deliver a lot of fluid with little effort on the baby's part. A bottle can fill baby all the way up and put him in a "food coma", but that doesn't mean baby is happier than he is at the breast.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4

    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    No IV fluids during delivery and yes he was weighed on the same scale nude. Nursing in the hospital was OK...he was really sleepy and my nipples were sore. However he was wetting diapers and passing meconium. And he was not jaundice. As far as my milk coming in after two weeks, it was in just not a lot of it. I was pumping less than an ounce out of both breasts in the beginning. So his fussiness isn't about a low milk supply at night? Because he will constantly eat his hands and root even after he puked up a bunch! How to I get rid of the bottle at night?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    I'm totally not an expert, but until one comes along, know that your pumping output sounds totally normal and is not a good indicator of supply, since a well-latched baby gets way more milk than the best pump in more-experienced hands than yours.

    And the constantly wanting to nurse in the evenings is normal. Everybody's milk slows down in the evenings, so they have to nurse frequently to get the fatty, slow milk before a long sleep.

    Try a sling to let him nurse while you are eating supper, etc. There are good YouTube videos demonstrating different wraps. It is awkward at first, but worth learning.

    Hang in there! Now maybe someone who knows more will come along and post again.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Also, I didn't know my milk had come in until more than 2 weeks postpartum. It obviously had, though, since baby gained a pound! Not everybody leaks or feels their milk letdown.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    One more with the jerking at your nipple, have you read "finish the first breast first?" You might be getting a fore/hindmilk imbalance. http://www.llli.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvsepoct95p69a.html

  8. #8

    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Wow I just read that article and wanted to cry because that ladies situation sounds just like mine! I have been unlatching him when his sucking became slow...I think the reason I started doing this is because in the beginning when he was sleepy the lactation consultant told me when he slows down to switch breasts. Sometimes he will just come off on his own and now that I think about it, he is much happier at those times. However this is hard for me because I feel like he will be nursing forever until coming off on his own. But I'm willing to do it for if it means less of a fussy baby! Also I did buy a maya wrap sling and tried it out at my son's soccer game today but it was a little awkward and I couldn't get him positioned right. I definitely need some more practice but I think it might save my sanity lol. Thank for the advice!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Let us know how it goes, mama! I think you will have little trouble ditching that single evening bottle.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Default Re: Frustrated and about to give up :(

    Try compressions when sucking slows. http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...agename=doc-BC

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