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Thread: Hates to nurse

  1. #1

    Default Hates to nurse

    My daughter will be 9 wks old tomorrow. She's nursed pretty well up until this past week. Around week 5-6, she had a lot of fussy nights where she just did not want to nurse and I'd have to pump and bottle feed her. After the peak of fussiness she only refused to nurse occasionally when she was very sleepy and too tired work.

    But now it seems like every time is a struggle to get her to latch on. She only wants to bottle feed. It's either very difficult to get her started or impossible. I have a forceful let down but it's gotten much better. I don't know what to do. It's now become very rare that she will nurse without a fight. She's still eating every 1 1/2 to 2 hours and I offer her my breast even before she's showing hunger cues sometimes.

    I really don't want to pump and feed her my bottled milk all the time and that's what my husband wants me to do. He doesn't understand my frustration and how upset I would be if I couldn't nurse. I don't know what to tell him either.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,269

    Default Re: Hates to nurse

    Definitely don't pump exclusively unless you have to! If your husband is giving you grief, I suggest that you hand him the pump and tell him to spend 20 minutes chained to it every 2-3 hours throughout the day and night for the next year or so, and see if that's something he would want to do himself. I suspect that it isn't! Maybe if he realizes that, he'll be less inclined to suggest it to you. I would also be absolutely forthright about what you need from him: support. Give him a script, for example "If I come crying to you, and saying I can't do it, I need you to not suggest the pump. I need you to hold me and tell me how awesome I am for continuing to nurse and I need you to tell me I am a wonderful mom." Sometimes men get stuck in problem-solving mode when we need them to be in support mode!

    Is baby completely refusing to nurse? I'd kind of like to see you try to put the bottles away for a few days, and just nurse and watch diaper output. I know I'm suggesting a super-difficult experience for you and your baby, but it might be worth it to break the bottle habit.

    ETA: this is a really good link on nursing strikes, with techniques for beating them: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,766

    Default Re: Hates to nurse

    Did the breast refusal start (or worsen) after the introduction of bottles?

    Does baby take a pacifier?

    You might want to read this: http://www.normalfed.com/Continuing/tripnip.html

    Maybe the following information will help your husband.

    Tips for dad: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

    Breastfeeding vs. Formula feeding (some (not all) of the aspects of formula feeding listed here also apply for bottle feeding even when what is being fed baby in the bottle is breastmilk. Nursing is completely different than bottle feeding in a myriad of ways that are often not talked about, even when baby is still getting breastmilk. http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...tgoodsense.pdf

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