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Thread: Cries every time he unlatches

  1. #1

    Default Cries every time he unlatches

    So I started co-sleeping with my 5 week old, something I actually wanted to avoid ( I was a little nervous ab rolling over), but its actually working out better then I expected!
    I started this bc he will NOT stay asleep for more then 10 min in his bassinet, but he sleeps for several hours when right next to me!
    Well for the first couple of nights he slept in my arms with pillows galore either side of me. Then right next to my head (so I don't roll on him lol). NOW every time it's bed time he cries when ever he unlatches! He loves to pacify after eating so I leave him latched a little while longer than his usual 20-25 min eating period, but once he realizes he doesn't have anything in his mouth, he freaks! I really don't mind frequent feedings, but the past couple of nights I feel I can't sleep! I'm so scared to leave him latched as I sleep in fear of smothering him. I should mention I am a first time mommy so I have many fears and concerns on the subject.
    I just don't know what to do ab having my breast in his mouth for 6-8 hours straight!! Is there anything I can do?? A pacifier doesn't work as he KNOWS it not me! His diapers are good so I know he's getting enough milk, he's just getting extra Clingy at bed time it seems!

    Sorry for the long post, just figured some back story would help explain my situation

    -one sleepy mommy!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2013

    Default Re: Cries every time he unlatches

    Are you a particularly sound sleeper? Have any trouble waking when baby signals? Most breastfeeding moms are pretty exquisitely tuned into their babies, and won't overlie them.

    I definitely just let my newborn stay latched and learned to position and sleep through that. For me, it is impossible to roll over when the arm that lay underneath me is fully outstretched. And my baby also required more body contact than just my breast to stay asleep, so she just slept on that arm! Over time, she needed to be constantly latched less and less. She's 10 months and we are stil bed sharing and night nursing plenty, but the sessions are pretty quick now.
    Apologies for the short responses! I'm usually responding one-handed on my smartphone!

  3. #3

    Default Re: Cries every time he unlatches

    It is unlikely a mother who is not impared (drugs, meds, alcohol) will roll over on her baby. Sleep studies show that an unimpared mother is aware of her baby in her sleep.

    I am more concerned about the pillows. When sleeping, Baby should be on the firm mattress, not on a pillow, with no pillows (or heavy comforters or heavy blankets) anywhere near baby. (baby can have her own light blanket or share a light breathable blanket with mom. )This is why it is typically safer for baby to be down at mothers breast than up by her head on top of or near a pillow. YOU will be aware of your baby. A pillow or comforter will not.

    PLEASE read bedsharing gudelines. It is important to understand what the risks really are so you can make the adjustments needed to do so safely.

    Baby is crying because baby wishes to pacify at the breast, which is entirely normal. If you are concerned about falling asleep while baby is latched but you need sleep, can anyone else take baby to be comforted back to sleep?
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; September 16th, 2013 at 10:50 AM.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Cries every time he unlatches

    bedsharing & co-sleeping guidelines http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

    You can also find much more information about co-sleeping and bedsharing on that website.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012

    Default Re: Cries every time he unlatches

    Oh geez. PLEASE read the link posted by lll meg! If you sleep with baby latched and his head pillowed on your out stretched arm as sono girl described, you are not going to roll over on baby. There IS a GOOD chance of baby smothering on the pillows all around you or if he's sharing the pillow by your head. What you've described is really scary to me, way more than the idea of you rolling. Think about it. How often in your life have you rolled off your bed? The same subconscious awareness will prevent you from rolling on baby, provided you aren't under the influence of anything. It is possible to safely co-sleep. Read the guidelines and baby proof your bed.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Cries every time he unlatches

    Sorry I should have been more clear ab the pillows. I had him cradled in my arms and pillows on either side of my hips so I wouldn't roll over and a pillow under my legs for comfort. We stopped doing that though and now I've been trying the side co sleeping position they have in the article above. He's not sharing the pillow by my head, in fact I had it smooched to far away from him my head was hardly on it. I did have my arm bent under my head though and not outstretched. I tried it last night and I felt so much more comfortable and way more secure! I think this will really help, but how long will this last?? I am a very light sleeper, but I would love to go back to rolling all around my bed again with him on the bassinet not to huge of an issue I suppose, but would like to ween him away from this, I just don't know how. Thank you ladies for your advice!!!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Cries every time he unlatches

    Sorry for the misunderstanding. Glad you found the sideling position more workable for you.
    I tried it last night and I felt so much more comfortable and way more secure! I think this will really help, but how long will this last??
    You can bedshare for as long or as short as you like. Breastfeeding mother’s typically bedshare in order to get MORE overall sleep for mom and baby. If you are finding that bedsharing leads to less sleep for you, then you can move baby back to bassinet whenever you wish. It is recommended even by the AAP that baby sleep in the same room as mom for at least the first year of life. (Room sharing is another form of co-sleeping) and baby in the bassinet by your bed will work fine for that (unless baby outgrows the bassinet!-that was the point I started bedsharing with my oldest.)

    Besides your own sleep comfort, (which is important) there is no need-nor is it really possible-to wean baby away from needing to be comforted at night or preferring the breast as their comfort. This evolves over time and the child gradually weans from this need when developmentally ready to do so.

    But of course, if you choose, you could try other comforting measures as long as they do not interfere with frequent breastfeeding. These can be, someone else taking baby and comforting baby by walking or rocking baby after you have nursed, or introducing a pacifier or swaddling after nighttime nursing sessions. While they need to be used with caution, pacifiers are ok at this age as long as breastfeeding is going very well and baby is gaining very well, and they are used in such a way that frequent nursing is still encouraged (basically, not over used, as a baby might ‘pacify’ through internal feeding cues.) Swaddling has similar cautions. (Swaddling is not recommended if baby is in same bed with mom)

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