Re: 5 month old not gaining weight. I'm STRESSED.
with all the above.
I just want to add that there's an excellent book out there for moms in your shoes: "When Survivors Give Birth" by Penny Simkin and Phyllis Klaus. Childhood abuse does not, to my knowledge, cause supply issues- as LLLMeg said above, after a certain point supply much less about hormones than it is about milk removal, and the hormones associated with stress (e.g. adrenaline) may inhibit/delay letdown but typically cannot interfere with milk supply. But childhood abuse can definitely cause issues around breastfeeding. The responses are very variable- some moms never have a breastfeeding issues related to abuse, others find that they experience feelings of repulsion while nursing, others simply find the whole experience upsetting and stressful, others will experience intrusive thoughts while nursing... Anyway, the book gives some strategies for coping that can be very helpful.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"