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Thread: This is getting extremely frustrating!

  1. #1
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    Default This is getting extremely frustrating!

    Another dietician appointment today, and another disappointment. He only gained 1 1/2 oz. She seems to be getting pretty concerned. Now that he is on solids she told me to feed him the cereal and /or avacado twice a day and not once and to keep on charting. Told me I have to bring him in for another weigh in next week, and if there isn't an adequate weight gain she has no choice but to recommend supplements of formula. Said something about how some moms make homo milk and some skim and who knows what kind I make. She said she is also going to be informing my family dr as well. All these appointments and specialists and no one is saying why he isnt gaining what they want him to.

    I'm so upset. I'm angry, I'm sad and feeling so much disappointment in myself. No one here can understand why. No one here can relate. And all these specialists keep making me feel like there is something that I am not doing right. This isn't natural and this isn't how feeding is suppose to be or feel. Who needs to chart for over a month? Or worry if your baby doesn't finish a bottle or feed well. I can't put into words how much BM means me. I just wish they would be more sympathetic and understanding

  2. #2
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    OMG, I can't believe the dietician trotted out that old myth about some moms making skim milk! That is such complete BS. When it comes to weight gain, what matters is not milk quality, but rather milk quantity. A baby can eat nothing but relatively low-in-fat "foremilk" and still gain plenty of weight, provided he gets enough of it. And as I recall, your output is on the high side, like 30+ oz per day, right? And most of that milk is going into bottles, so you know how much your baby is eating. Correct?

    What have the specialists had to say about the baby's weight gain? Have they checked for metabolic issues, have they checked for allergies or silent reflux?

    Mama, what you are experiencing is awful and is just so hard. You are doing everything right and not being rewarded for it the way you should. And to get a scolding from the dietician on top of it all... Grrr! I'd like to her.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    Assuming you know he is eating plenty (based on mommal's comment) and YOU are not extremely unhealthy to the point of malnutrition, I would venture to say this is NOT a milk issue and your docs need to start looking other places for the problem. It's possible they want you to try formula just to rule out an issue with your milk, but the comment about 'skim milk' makes me doubt that is the case and even if it is, IMO they are going backwards if that's their plan. They should rule out other issues BEFORE asking you to jeopardize your nursing relationship because in most cases, if there is a problem, it is all the more important your baby continue to get your breastmilk.

    Excuse me if you've posted this elsewhere but is your baby actually underweight or just not gaining as quickly as your doc would like? How much does he weight now and how old is he? Is he behind developmentally? Unhappy or lethargic? Any other health issues or symptoms of a problem? Does he poop/pee normally? Has he been ill frequently?

    Have they done any blood tests to see if he is actually undernourished? A metabolic panel is what I believe it's called- they look at various protein levels and all kinds of other indicators of nutrition. Any stool samples to rule out a parasitic infection or GI problems? Any hormonal testing to make sure there isn't a growth problem?

    Sorry for all the questions, I know it's frustrating. These are some of the things they looked at with my son so I'm just throwing some options out there.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    He's 6 months now and he is 14lbs 15oz. He was 9lbs 1oz at birth and 8lbs 14oz at discharge. Yes, I still pump 30+/day. It's because his weight gain has been slow since he was 3 months. I took him to the dr when he lost 1 1/2 oz 3 weeks ago, my LC gave me a letter of concern to bring in to him, and he wasn't even concerned. He said it could of been the wheather that he wasn't drinking much but he was possitive that he would gain in the next few weeks. Brought him in a week later and he gained 5oz. He said the most important weights are discharge weight, 6 month and 12 month. He was quite sure that he would double by 6 months. Seems to be right on track with his developement. He's content and extremely happy. Absolutely no other tests have been done. He had a blood test 2 months ago to rule out iron deficiency, and that was it, it came back normal. They haven't said anything about what could be going on, just that he isn't getting enough because he isn't gaining enough of what "they" would like him to be gaining. I am still waiting for the dermatologist at children's hospital to call with an appointment.

    Somedays he drinks 34oz and some days he will go as low as 24 1/2-27oz. When he has a low day the next day will be a higher day. I can't make him eat. She told me that he needs to have a min of 32 oz/day to gain in the range that they recommend. He went from 4oz bottles to 5 oz bottles and now he's at 6oz bottles with getting 1 tbsp of cereal twice a day.

    When we were at the dietician after the weight check I put his clothes back on put him in his stroller and gave him his bottle. She seemed very surprised that he was holding his bottle. The next thing she said just floored me "Do you ever hold him while he's feeding". Wow, just wow. I almost wanted to slap her, lol. It's extremely frustrating when there is no effort to find out what is going on, and just go to blaming my supply. After I got home I was talking to my mom about it all, and I started crying. I told her that I will never be able to explain it to her for her to understand. My husband said it doesn't matter to him if he's on BM or formula, just that it's my decision, and whatever makes me happy to just do it. Sigh.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    that dietician sounds like an insensitive idiot. I'm sorry she made you feel bad.

    According to the chart I'm looking at, your baby is right at 10th percentile, which is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. Many many babies drop down on the charts. A weight loss is certainly something to pay attention to and be concerned about, but slow gain when your baby is well within a normal weight range is just not as much of an issue unless it's attached to other concerning symptoms. I think I'd go with your doc on this and try not to be too worried, certainly don't feel like there is anything wrong with your milk, and just stay on top of making sure he's getting plenty.

    What are you seeing a dermatologist about?
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  6. #6
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    Nevermind, I went digging in your old posts and found more info.

    My son has chronic eczema due to a number of food allergies. He would get these open wet patches on his cheeks and various places on his body, which the dermatologist called 'erosive eczema' (in addition to normal dry itchy red eczema). He was also very low weight, mostly due to the allergy issues, but even after I stopped nursing and put him on an elemental formula his skin and weight continued to be an issue (improved, but still bad). After months and months I found a GI doc who looked at his blood tests and said his zinc levels were borderline- within normal range, but very low normal. She said some kids have a metabolic issue where their bodies can't process the zinc found in normal foods and it contributed to some kinds of eczema and could affect weight gain. She put him on a zinc supplement and I swear to god within a week his skin had improved and he was starting to put on weight.

    I'm sharing this not because I think your baby has a zinc malabsorption issue (though...maybe?), but mainly because I know from experience you have to keep pushing and pushing them to look for the real problem. I had already stopped nursing (in our case it was the only choice because of other factors) and he was on measured amounts of exactly the right food and he still wasn't gaining well- the food wasn't the issue, the metabolic problem was. I think if your gut is telling you there is something wrong, you need to push them to look elsewhere for the issue. I really don't think it's your milk that is the problem here.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  7. #7
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    He had his shots today and the scale at the health nurse said he was 15lbs 02oz. He had 23 1/2 oz in bottles today and nursed a total of 80 min. It's turning me into panick mode. I'm constantly pumping and nursing all day now. Sometimes I pump too soon after nursing or already pumping and fret a bit because I didn't get that much. so the next feed he has I keep throwing him on the breast.

    They keep saying that his is probably caused by an allergy. To what, no idea. They haven't told me to do an elimination or where to start with one. Except for the people on here, they pointed me in a general direction. I hated the first ped they sent me to, I felt so rushed with him and like he wasn't listening to me. Now I'm starting to feel that way with every dr that they send me to. The LC/health nurse I see, and the women on here, seems to be the only ones that actually listens to me, understands and gives the best information. Sometimes when I take that information to the dr's they look at me like I'm from another planet and disregard what I have said. I've had this ongoing battle with them over the hydrocortisone cream. Next time I go in I'm going to be adament that they look into other possiblities first, because I honestly don't believe it's a milk issue.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: This is getting extremely frustrating!

    You know, based on the weight alone I am not sure why they suspect some horrible problem. He's still on the chart. And a lot of babies go through something called "catch up/catch down" growth, where they follow one growth trajectory inside the womb and another outside. When babies are born small and rapidly climb to the top of the charts, no-one worries. But when babies are born large, as yours was, and then don't maintain that fast growth, there's often a lot of concern from the docs.

    Sometimes you do have to push back when it comes to getting tests ordered.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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