My brother is getting married in January on the other side of the country and we're not bringing the kids since it's an adult-only event and I am in the wedding party. I think I'll be away for 3 nights. At that time, my son will be almost 14 months. I plan to pump, but I am mainly concerned that the absence will somehow encourage my son to wean and that's not what I want. Does anyone have experience with this or can you offer advice?
Hi connectikate, I was away for five days when my toddler was 13 months old and a few weeks ago for another 5 days - she is now 17 months. She was perfectly happy to nurse as soon as we were back together! I don't think a few days' absence will cause your son to wean.
If you are concerned about your child spontaneously weaning while you are gone, I would suggest:
Don't encourage weaning ahead of time. In other words, keep nursing baby on cue, for comfort, to sleep etc. Even not “offering” is a weaning technique. Many moms are encouraged to start actively limiting nursing after a child starts eating solids, but this is not needed and may lead to an earlier end of breastfeeding, separations or no.
For the same reason, avoid pacifier or bottle overuse.
During the separation, leave some milk for your baby sitter to give your baby
Plan to pump or hand express at least somewhat while you are away.
When you get back, if you child refuses to nurse at first, don’t immediately think that your baby has weaned. Instead, treat it like a nursing strike, which is really what it would be. Gently encourage your baby to nurse. Natural weaning is almost always very slow and gradual, and would not typically happen abruptly, even due to a short separation.
I left my then 2 year old son for three days once and I was terrified he would wean. But he did not. However, i have talked to moms who did have that experience, which is why I suggest the above.
In my experience, I left my child for three days (past her 1yr birthday) over a few different occasions - left pumped milk for her - and had no weaning problems over that span of separation. However, we left her for 7 days at one point, and she went into a nursing strike, which we worked through. I would suggest that when you leave your child, to not let him be given your milk from anything that promotes the need to bite to open a valve, or anything that gives a massive amount of liquid flow. Hope all goes smoothly for you!
Thank you for the tips! Our out of state wedding is about 2 months away and my little boy is still very content at the breast, so this worry is still nagging the back of my mind. I will make sure that grandma still gives him the slow flow nipples we've been using and that I leave behind or overnight some milk. Thank you for letting me know that it can be done.
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Will Separation Induce Weaning?
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