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Thread: thoughts/questions/guidance at 1-year mark

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: thoughts/questions/guidance at 1-year mark

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*pandora View Post
    I just want him to be present for the hard stuff, not "cure" me of it-
    This sort of thing is a problem for a lot of couples. When presented with a problem, men tend to default to "problem-solving" mode, whereas women default to "emotional support" mode. It's frustrating for both partners- the woman wants emotional support, not a how-to manual, and the man gets frustrated because he can't understand why the woman won't just implement the solution he has proposed. If she didn't want his help, why did she ask in the first place?

    When I come to my DH with an issue, I have found it helpful to be explicit about what I need. If I need a problem-solving approach, I say something like "I need help figuring out how to arrange this". If I simply need his emotional support, I make that clear: "I need you to give me a hug and tell me that everything is going to be fine and that I'm doing really well."

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2013

    Default Re: thoughts/questions/guidance at 1-year mark

    thank you, everyone. i was waiting to get her blood report/allergy testing stuff back to answer the question about nutrients. she had some tastes of almond milk a couple of days last week, but then didn't want any. but has been taking some frozen breast milk (which, ALAS, the nanny defrosted in the microwave, despite my explicit instructions in her journal. gave our daughter diarrhea a couple of days, and then i figured out why because she would do fine later on). so glad to figure that out. back to the issue of her growth, her weight is alright, she is a tall girl, but not too heavy. and while her weight gain has slowed considerably since she began to crawl, and is now almost walk, it hasn;t stopped or regressed. and to be honest, i think it falls during the week, and she becomes plumper over the weekend (or maybe it's just my projection). she is teething fiercely but has also recently been able to join more shorter sleep cycles together over night. so, I KNOW it's alright, and I think her father also knows but freaks out sometimes. i guess all in all, we are managing alright.
    salutes to all of you for this invaluable service.

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