Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 15 of 15

Thread: Nursing on demand with a 21 month old?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Nursing on demand with a 21 month old?

    Thanks to everyone who responded for making me feel like my son's nursing frequency is normal--it's so nice to hear from all you mamas who have successfully nursed toddlers! I thought we were on the far end of the spectrum as far as frequency was concerned, so I'm happy to hear that this nursing behavior is actually pretty normal. I am all about responding to my son's cues and meeting his needs--just happy to hear there is nothing unusual about his desire to still nurse so frequently at this age.
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,885

    Default Re: Nursing on demand with a 21 month old?

    i would definitely not be comfortable nursing in front of other people with both boobs out/twiddling, but then i would never have been comfortable doing that in private either! i think it comes down to setting polite nursing manners rules, which is really exactly the same process involved in teaching any other kind of rules or manners for behavior or locations.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,616

    Default Re: Nursing on demand with a 21 month old?

    I mostly loved toddler nursing. It helped calmed tantrums and soothe owies. It also was the mark of not having pressure for my supply, which was chronically low and we could just enjoy it. I am so glad we got to enjoy it and it's so fun when they get really verbal and can tell you thank you...once DD said "thank you for providing nums for me" and she would tell me it was better than ice cream. It was definitely a comfort/relationship thing for us by 2 yrs more than nutrition because I don't think she got much milk at that point but it was still really valuable for us.
    Nursed my sweet daughter 3 years, 3 mos.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Nursing on demand with a 21 month old?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*auderey View Post
    i would definitely not be comfortable nursing in front of other people with both boobs out/twiddling, but then i would never have been comfortable doing that in private either!
    Oh, I don't like the twiddling but he's fairly insistent and I often don't have the energy or will to fight him about it. I know he gets more milk that way, which is why he does it. I try not to set a limit unless I'm really willing to enforce it consistently and 'go to the mat' for it, and I just haven't felt that strongly about twiddling yet. I wonder if 21 months is old enough to understand different rules in different situations, i.e. twiddle to your heart's content at home but not in front of other people. He does seem to understand that we don't nurse in public anymore, so maybe he'll be able to grasp distinctions like this soon.
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  5. #15

    Default Re: Nursing on demand with a 21 month old?

    I think there is no reason not to try to set different limits for out than in. Many children twiddle/knead etc. when nursing but their mothers limit it due to feeling annoyed or do not allow it in public. (Likewise, length of sessions, positions, I am sure many other things are also often different for home and out.) How your child will respond to those limits or how long/adamantly etc. you will need to stick to them depends on the child. Limit setting is usually a process that requires frequent reinforcement. At this age I would not get into long explanations (actually I have found those unhelpful at any age under about 10 and even then it is iffy.) kellymom has a nice 'nursing manners' article. Mothering Your Nursing Toddler also addresses that iirc.

    Nursing in front of family: I would also not feel comfortable nursing a squirmy toddler practically topless "in front of" a male relative. But sometimes a rearrangement of furniture or something so you are angled away or screened slightly can allow you to nurse in the same room without it being a big deal. My husband comes from a large family so when we visit I have to contend with lots of brothers, brothers in law, nephews of all ages, plus his dad, being around pretty much all the time, and staking out a non looked into corner or something has worked well for me. Of course, I have a staunch breastfeeding ally in my MIL which makes it easier.

    But I see nothing wrong with simply leaving the room if that is what makes you most comfortable. You could explain by simply saying ‘time to nurse’ or ‘he nurses better without distractions.’ Of course you can make up a non-nursing explanation for leaving the room if you prefer.

    For those you are comfortable nursing in front of, but you sense they are uncomfortable, maybe it would help to say something like "I am going to nurse my son now. He can get kind of grabby so don't be surprised!" That sort thing. It would be as if a friend was visiting and we were chatting and she accompanied me into my bedroom as I looked for something and I suddenly realized I had to change my shirt due to it being stained. I would not just start ripping off my shirt, I would say "oh I have to change my shirt. I don't mind if you don't!" Something like that. kwim? You give the person warning.

    Also, sometimes if I am around a family member who I know has probably never seen a child this age (or any child) nursing before, and they seem startled or taken aback or whatever, I might ask them if they have any questions. Not in a hostile way. Just like you would if you had to explain anything else that is out of the ordinary-like a health issue or a food allergy. It’s a shame nursing a child IS out of the ordinary, but that is the current state of affairs.

    Here is what I try NOT to do. Apologize for my or my child’s completely normal and developmentally appropriate behavior, as in "Yes he is "still" nursing." or "I am sorry, I have to leave the room, my child wants to nurse and if I don't let him he will have a fit." That kind of thing. I have found that cultivating a matter of fact, unapologetic manner about nursing, in public or otherwise, helps lighten the air of embarrassment and judgment.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •