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Thread: Had to suddenly stop nursing and feeling sad

  1. #1

    Default Had to suddenly stop nursing and feeling sad

    I had to go to hospital this weekend and they put me on a bunch of narcotics to manage kidney stone pain until I can have surgery to have it removed. They told me I can't nurse anymore with the narcotics. My DS is 15 months and they say I should be glad I made it that far, but I am having a hard time. I wanted to wean when DS was 18 months, and my husband is jumping for joy because he wants better sleep since the baby was still getting up 2 -3 times at night to nurse. He doesn't understand my sadness and the feeling of disappointment that I can't gradually wean like I did with our older child. I don't think it makes sense to try to maintain my supply until the surgery and then wean in 2 months, but it is just hard.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    614

    Default Re: Had to suddenly stop nursing and feeling sad

    I think it would probably be worth calling Infant Risk to ask about the safety of nursing on the meds they're giving you. Lots of moms have narcotics after C-sections and are allowed to nurse while taking them. How long do you have to wait till the surgery?

    If it's making you feel this sad (which I totally get, I'd be so upset!) I think it makes sense to keep your supply up and wean when you're ready. Is your husband the one feeding the baby in the middle of the night? What guarantee is there that your DS won't wake up anyway, without the valuable tool of nursing to get him back to sleep?

    Good luck mama, I hope you feel better soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,643

    Default Re: Had to suddenly stop nursing and feeling sad

    with the PP. Definitely contact Infant Risk: http://www.infantrisk.com/. So often a mom is given a blanket "no" about combining medications and nursing, when the real answer is much more nuanced.

    I also think that your DH needs to put a sock in it and contain his joy, because a) no more night-nursing does not mean no more night-waking, and b) if you are sad, he needs to find a way to make you feel better, not jump around doing the dance of joy.

    Sorry about this painful interlude in your life, mama! Abrupt weaning is hard on everyone.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4

    Default Re: Had to suddenly stop nursing and feeling sad

    I am sorry, this is very tough. Abrupt weaning can cause mom to feel quite low, (in fact even with a planned or a 'natural' weaning there is often a mourning period.) And of course narcotics are depressants. So not only are your feelings about weaning entirely natural, your sadness is likely heightened by hormones and the meds. Plus you are ill! even if you are certain that in your circumstances weaning 'for good' is the best if not your original choice, you need room to mourn and respect shown for your feelings over the loss of your nursing relationship.

    How is your body responding to suddenly not nursing? You may need to be pumping for a bit anyway to prevent overfullness, plugs etc.

    I suggest that you are not without options IF weaning at this point seems wrong to you. How long do you have to wait until surgery? Why not maintain your production with a little pumping until the surgery, and after see how long your child will actually want to nurse for? Deciding to wean at 18 months is an arbitrary number that does not make any more sense from a biological perspective than does 15 months. What if you moved your goal to 20 months, or 22 months, or 24 months, etc. Would it make sense to pump until surgery then? I don't know how often your child was nursing, but it is likely you could maintain 'good enough' production for a short term by pumping just a few times a day.

    Even if that is not possible for you, it is even possible you could not pump, put your child to the breast after you are off the meds and your child will nurse and bring your production back.

    But I also agree, call infant risk. General surgery does not require any weaning at all, as as soon as the anesthesia wears off enough that you are awake and alert (even if very tired) it is safe to nurse. As far as narcotics go, whether you want to keep nursing on those depends on a few factors you will want to consider. But remember every breastfeeding mother who has a c-section nurses her newborn while on some major meds including narcotics, with everyone's blessing. I believe it is only because nursing at this age is not valued by a medical community that is largely unaware of the benefits that your natural desire to continue to nurse is not being considered with the weight and respect it should be.

    Does your husband's sleep have to be disturbed because your child nurses at night? Usually it is the opposite.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; August 5th, 2013 at 12:40 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    19

    Default Re: Had to suddenly stop nursing and feeling sad

    I had to suddenly wean my 15 month old last week. Aside from the sadness of weaning before we were ready, I think I also had sadness due to hormone changes. It was like really bad PMS. I cried often and had waves of overwhelming sadness. It's been 8 days and I'm feeling like I'm starting to level out. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor if you need help.

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