Attempting to wean my almost 6 month old!! I need ideas!

[@llli*stefani]

So My baby girl has been horribly cranky the last week and I pumped to see how much milk I was getting.. 1/2 ounce each side although I am ready to wean anyways and would like to start trying for #2 soon. So for the last 2 days she has been doing great taking formula but I have a horrible time trying to put her down for naps. My mom has "the grammy hold" which gets her every time but for me it is just hopeless. I tried letting her briefly cry it out (10-15 minutes) and she gauged her ear and there was blood everywhere!!She always does this when shes upset/ over tired. I ended up taking her for a walk in the stroller, which is fine but I can't do it every single time. I have been trying to come up with ways to also get her sleeping in her crib. I have been trying for about a week and I have watched tons of videos. She has a crib soother, I've tried nursing her to sleep, holding a bottle for her in her crib, tried adding cereal, letting her cry in 5 mnute intervals soothing her inbetween and all I got was 30 minutes of her sleeping. My husband is working 6am to 10pm everyday and her crib is in our room so I try to get her to sleep before he gets home... I'm just so lost!! Everything else is going great. I still just end up nursing her in our bed to go to sleep after she falls asleep a couple of times.

Any advice would be great!!

Thank you
Stefani!

[@llli*esthervegan]

greetings stefani! and welcome to the La Leche League forums. Before I found LLL I did not know any other moms who admitted to breastfeeding in bed. But that is exactly what worked for me too. And I learned how not to feel judged for responding to my baby's needs. My baby needed to be held and rocked and nursed and my baby needed to feel me close to fall asleep. I think nursing to sleep is good parenting. It worked for me.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

with esthervegan

Do you want to wean her mama? I can't tell what you are asking. Advice on weaning, or are you just wishing that she would fall asleep some other way than nursing? Or both?

The pump is not a good indicator of supply, especially if you are home with the baby and do not have pumping as part of your routine already.

[@llli*mommal]

with the PPs. If you really want to wean, we can help you with that. If you want baby to fall asleep without nursing... Well, that's harder! I nursed my kids to sleep every night and every nap until they were 2-3 years old, because it was so much easier than any other option.

[@llli*stefani]

Well, because my supply was low I decided to just wean her while it's already low. I know for sure it is low because of how she was acting, like she was hungry. I am just unsure how to get her to sleep now. I can let her cry and wimper for a few minutes in her swing and she'll fall asleep but sometimes she just demands boob!

Last night I started at 8:45 putting her to sleep, I gave her a bottle with light cereal in it, and held it for her in her crib. She drank most of it and just had intermittent crying/ screaming spells. I spent 45 minutes soothing her to get her back to sleep (soothing every 5 minutes or so) Finally, I rocked her to sleep with the bottle in the position I would BF her in and placed her in her crib and she lasted about 30 minutes. I did it again, she lasted about 10 so at that point I took her in my bed and just nursed her to sleep as usual.

I'm just looking to establish a new routine with her to get her out of the breastfeeding habit, and make her comfortable and happy, but I don't know what else to do! I know for the most part I'll just have to keep trying to see what works for her but I just feel like I'm doing every thing all wrong and she hates me for weaning her.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

When you nurse her to sleep, you are in your bed, right? What if you instead cuddled her in bed with the bottle of formula? Maybe instead of weaning AND changing the sleep routine, just stick to weaning. And then when that's down, try something else with the falling asleep?

[@llli*mommal]

Aw, mama! Your baby doesn't hate you for weaning her. She simply doesn't understand WHY you're weaning her. For a baby, nursing represents food and comfort- often, a baby's absolute favorite form of both. And all of a sudden, instead of getting her favorite meal and her favorite cuddle, your baby is being forced to make do with her second choices. So of course she's going to be super-fussy and super-cranky. Not because she hates you- just because she doesn't understand what's going on.

There's often a big growth spurt at 6 months, and that growth spurt can coincide with some of the most extreme teething and also a lot of new develmental milestones. All those things can make a baby nurse more and act more cranky. It sounds like you chose to start weaning out of a belief that your supply was already low- but what if it wasn't? I know you tried measuring your supply with the pump- but pumping isn't actually a good measure of supply. Babies can almost always extract far more milk than the pump!

Basically, what I'm trying to get around to asking you is this: how would you feel about un-weaning your baby? Even if you only unwean for that pre-bedtime or pre-naptime feeding, and use formula for the rest of the day, you'll still retain a really valuable mothering tool- not to mention continuing to give your baby optimal nutrition and immunological support. You wouldn't have to make bedtime/naptime into a battle.

And even if your goal is to get pregnant again ASAP, you probably don't need to wean in order to allow that to happen. Most moms do eventually get their fertility back while nursing, if they go long enough. If you can share your goals about trying to conceive, maybe we can tell you whether or not you really should think about weaning in order to make that happen.

[@llli*stefani]

Aw, mama! Your baby doesn't hate you for weaning her. She simply doesn't understand WHY you're weaning her. For a baby, nursing represents food and comfort- often, a baby's absolute favorite form of both. And all of a sudden, instead of getting her favorite meal and her favorite cuddle, your baby is being forced to make do with her second choices. So of course she's going to be super-fussy and super-cranky. Not because she hates you- just because she doesn't understand what's going on.

There's often a big growth spurt at 6 months, and that growth spurt can coincide with some of the most extreme teething and also a lot of new develmental milestones. All those things can make a baby nurse more and act more cranky. It sounds like you chose to start weaning out of a belief that your supply was already low- but what if it wasn't? I know you tried measuring your supply with the pump- but pumping isn't actually a good measure of supply. Babies can almost always extract far more milk than the pump!

Basically, what I'm trying to get around to asking you is this: how would you feel about un-weaning your baby? Even if you only unwean for that pre-bedtime or pre-naptime feeding, and use formula for the rest of the day, you'll still retain a really valuable mothering tool- not to mention continuing to give your baby optimal nutrition and immunological support. You wouldn't have to make bedtime/naptime into a battle.

And even if your goal is to get pregnant again ASAP, you probably don't need to wean in order to allow that to happen. Most moms do eventually get their fertility back while nursing, if they go long enough. If you can share your goals about trying to conceive, maybe we can tell you whether or not you really should think about weaning in order to make that happen.

Well there are multiple things involved, the biggest is I would like to get her in her own bed but she refuses to go without nursing. I hate to be selfish, because I am with her all day and I love it! But now my husband is working leaving at 6 am and getting home at about 10 pm and we just don't get any time to ourselves. I also have been starting to get a regular workout routine going and I want to take supplements that I can not take while BFing and I am about 60 lbs overweight. I have gained weight since having her, and have been watching what I eat and include daily workouts. Not to mention, I've had to cut a TON of foods out of my diet due to horrible colic. I love my baby more than anything but after 7-8 pm there is absolutely no leaving her side.

I also am positive my supply dropped, I have been nursing on demand constantly and pumping and it has dropped gradually over the last month and she was just so hungry.

My husband just got out of the military and we've been pregnant since he came back from an Afghanistan deployment, and then were separated for me to move back home to Michigan from Alaska to have the baby for about 5 months.

As far as another baby goes, I would like for my daughter and I to get into a more structured routine to help transition into a new pregnancy for both of our sanity!

Most of all, I am looking for a way to compromise my needs with my daughters and find something that works for both of us. I really didn't want to nurse past 6 months, and still feel the same way but I do not want to sacrifice my daughters needs either. Everyone just keeps telling me to let her cry it out and I refuse. I don't care if my parents did it, or their parents, I do not believe in it! Adriana (my daughter) has been a very needy, clingy baby since she was born and I have a hard time even leaving her with a sitter as they have a hard time handling her.

I hope some of this makes sense, I don't want to neglect my daughter or push her away, I just need a little bit of sanity!

[@llli*mommal]

I would like to get her in her own bed but she refuses to go without nursing.

In that case, why make nursing part of the battle? If the priority is to get baby in her own bed, and nursing helps get her there, then why not nurse?

I hate to be selfish, because I am with her all day and I love it! But now my husband is working leaving at 6 am and getting home at about 10 pm and we just don't get any time to ourselves.

Wanting alone time with your husband isn't selfish! It's going to be hard to get that time whether you nurse or bottlefeed. When does your baby go to sleep? It might be possible to tweak your schedule in order to get the time you need.

Is sex part of the issue? If it is, let us know- we've all been there and there may be a way to get everyone's needs met.

I want to take supplements that I can not take while BFing

If you feel comfortable sharing what supplements you want to take, we may be able to reassure you as to their safety, or suggest the right people for you to call in order to get a definitive answer about safety.

Not to mention, I've had to cut a TON of foods out of my diet due to horrible colic.

What have you eliminated? Many moms end up going way overboard with eliminations, and then are too scared to go back to a normal diet. Most moms, however, do not need to do any dietary eliminations, and many more only need them for a short time. By 6 months, you should be totally good to start adding things back.

I also am positive my supply dropped, I have been nursing on demand constantly and pumping and it has dropped gradually over the last month and she was just so hungry.

Neither constant nursing nor decreased pump output indicate low supply. The best indicator of low supply is a problem with weight gain, and/or inadequate diaper output.

As far as another baby goes, I would like for my daughter and I to get into a more structured routine to help transition into a new pregnancy for both of our sanity!

I totally get the desire for a more structured routine. But I think you need to let that go. All babies- both breastfed and formula-fed- give their mothers sleepless nights and disrupted routines. I know my formula-feeding friends are always complaining about the same things I do- the baby was up all night, the baby is teething, the baby woke up in the middle of the night and wouldn't go back to sleep, etc.!!! And whether you breastfeed or formula-feed, crying it out isn't a cure-all! I know plenty of people who have done CIO with their kids, and guess what? They have to do it over, and over, and over, because the babies change all the time and therefore the convenient behavior produced by CIO doesn't last.

[@llli*stefani]

Thanks, this has been extremely reassuring. Intimacy is a huge issue and a main reason... or even some babyless cuddling once in a while would be nice. My mom lives with us and we have a small 2 bedroom house so it makes it hard. Worst case scenario I just say, "hey mom! Your turn with baby!" lol but it just doesn't always work out like that. She was having wet diapers, but barely wet and now since I have been giving her a bottle during the day I feel like it is much better and she is a lot less crabby. I still am nursing her at night, I just try a bottle and put her to sleep a couple times and then take her to my bed... which may just be the best I get but that's how the last 2 nights have went.

The supplement I want to take is a thermo supplement called oxy elite pro. A lot of vitamins but good portion of caffeine and thyroid hormones. http://oxyelitepro.com/ingredients.php these are the ingredients. I also have a thyroid problem they can't catch since the beginning of my pregnancy which doesn't help the weight issue. This supplement also has thyroid hormones in it. If it is safe... I may just throw weaning out, although it feels wonderful wearing my Victoria secret push up and clothes that aren't easy to nurse in!

Nursing may not affect a new baby, I started my cycle last month, shoot I may even be wasting my time I could just get pregnant LOL. I would also like her out of my bed if another pregnancy does come along, I would just pass out with her!