I need sleep

[@llli*apifera]

Sonogirl: Is it safe to sleep with them in your arms? I assume you would't do it if it wasn't... I just have been operating under the assumption that if you do that there's a chance that their heads can flop over or get into a bad position otherwise while you're asleep. Kind of like in the carseat- how they warn you not to leave them in it too long because their heads flop over and it can obstruct their airway.

What I have been doing now is letting him fall asleep latched on in sidelying position then waiting till he spits it out (then moves his head so my breast is his pillow!) and staying awake till he's in a deep enough sleep to move him to his back, propped up on me. Sometimes this works but more often than not, moving wakes him up. I generally have to do this several times till he stays asleep. But it's only a matter of time till I'm so tired I fall asleep before moving him.

[@llli*sonogirl]

I have never found anything one way or the other that has looked at baby sleeping ON a person with regard to safety. So I cannot recommend for or against that--it is just, for better or worse, the only way my child sleeps! But I follow every other tenet of safe bed sharing that I possibly can. Baby has essentially slept partially on or touching my arm since 6 weeks old. I put her down on her back, and she essentially just sort of pivots to her side when she wants to nurse, and moves back onto her back when she is done.

So in my case, I slept on my side, with my bottom arm extended full out straight. Instead of baby sleeping just underneath my arm, my baby wants to sleep touching that arm. So in the beginning, I never worried about overlaying/suffocation, because I could not physically roll over with that arm there, you know? But I was often nervous about her head being on the arm in the early days, but I checked her neck position over and over and over and it never approached chin to chest, so I just did the best I could to get her aligned neutrally, if that makes sense. These days, she is a 23 pound giant baby who can roll if she wants, so I am less concerned about her airway.

I did try to find research about baby sleeping on a person back when it became clear that this was going to be the way things were for us, but I never found anything!

[@llli*apifera]

I think the reason I am suddenly so afraid of SIDS is that up till now I thought that it was some extremely rare thing... so rare it wasn't worth worrying about. Now I know it's the leading cause of infant mortality. So rare + leading cause= my brain swimming... for some reason I can't get around the fact that it's both? And I also can't compute the fact that it's supposedly not preventable YET they make suggestions TO prevent it. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?

I know a LOT of Breastfeeding experts and moms suggest sidelying to get some sleep. But it seems to me this is advocating letting the baby sleep on his side. Is this true? Because if I let him sleep on his side he would sleep a LOT better. He really wants to sleep on his side. I just haven't let him do it because it makes me so nervous.

I think maybe this weekend was his 6 week growth spurt. Today he's eating a little less. In fact I woke up this morning slightly engorged.

[@llli*mommal]

SIDS really is rare. It just happens to be more common than the other causes of mortality- in the developed world, at least, where most babies survive infancy. In the less developed parts of the world, you'd be way more worried about diarrhea than about SIDS.

No-one knows what causes SIDS. It seems like the leading hypothesis is some sort of physical abnormality in brain function that can cause a baby to stop breathing or prevent a baby from rousing from sleep when she is in physical discomfort/peril. There's not much you can do about your baby's brain function, if that's the root of SIDS- but there's a lot you can do about the environmental factors that are associated with increased risk of SIDS. Like making sure your baby sleeps on her back, not smoking, getting adequate prenatal care, and sharing a room with your baby at night.

Side-lying nursing doesn't mean that the baby sleeps side-lying, too. Ideally, you nurse, and then when baby unlatches you gently roll him back onto his back.

[@llli*zaynethepain]

I always slept with ds on his side. He was such a light sleeper in the newborn phase that if I wanted any sleep at all, I couldn't move him or myself an inch or he was awake-wide awake-which started the whole nurse/bounce bedtime routine again. It was until maybe a year he started naturally rolling on his back. I can't say I've ever seen a study on side sleeping babies so I really can't speak on the safety of it. But the way his head lay on my arm, I knew he wouldn't suffocate. He did go through a couple phases when sick or badly teething where he wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me, not just touching me. So he slept on my stomach chest to chest with me. I hated it. I cannot sleep on my back so those were incredibly miserable nights. They didn't last forever though. I wish I had magical advice but I never figured this issue out myself. Ds is napping on me right now. The book I read was The Baby Sleep Book by Dr Sears. Not sure how it compares to Pantley's, hers is recommended a lot more here.

[@llli*boob.traveler]

I think the reason I am suddenly so afraid of SIDS is that up till now I thought that it was some extremely rare thing... so rare it wasn't worth worrying about. Now I know it's the leading cause of infant mortality. So rare + leading cause= my brain swimming... for some reason I can't get around the fact that it's both? And I also can't compute the fact that it's supposedly not preventable YET they make suggestions TO prevent it. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?"

What mommal said. Overall infant mortality in the developed world is very low. So while SIDS may be the leading cause, the absolute numbers are still small.

[@llli*apifera]

I feel a bit like a loony. I don't hear other moms talking about how much it scares them... probably because they understand statistics better than I.

I'm sure it's lack of sleep. I know every other mother has gone through this. I know SIDS is rare. I also know that the medical system I'm in is one of the best in the country, but they're probably known for being that good because they're so careful... and kind of tight a** about some things. This isn't the first time they've scared the heck out of me. I had unexplained bleeding the whole pregnancy and they freaked me out with stats for how likely it was to be a placental abruption, which can be fatal for mom and baby.

We worked so very hard to get him to latch and now it's all he wants and I should be grateful and not whine about lack of sleep, really. And I know you can't spoil a newborn... this little guy just REALLY needs to let us put him down for longer than five seconds once in a while.

I reserved the book at the library... hopefully it'll help us.

Thanks ladies.

[@llli*maddieb]

apifera, sometimes I will pull my car over, get out, and walk around and open the back door so I can make sure my sleeping baby in her car seat is still breathing. And she is a year old!

I do like the no cry sleep solution but I have to say, i doubt it will help at this age except to reassure you that this is normal. Mothers of newborns do not sleep very much. They don't sleep long stretches. They survive by napping as much as possible and, in many cases, bedsharing.

I think the reason I am suddenly so afraid of SIDS is that up till now I thought that it was some extremely rare thing... so rare it wasn't worth worrying about. Now I know it's the leading cause of infant mortality. So rare + leading cause= my brain swimming... for some reason I can't get around the fact that it's both? And I also can't compute the fact that it's supposedly not preventable YET they make suggestions TO prevent it. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?

Because tptb do not have the guts or will or honesty to face up to that fact that 'sids' has been long been used as a blanket term for every unexplained and in many cases, perfectly well explained infant death that happens when the parents (not even neccesarily the baby) are asleep or otherwise not attending baby, and these deaths happen anywhere. So all the studies are flawed, because the initial reporting was flawed. This does not mean none of the sids guidelines make sense-for example, back to sleep has proven effective at lowewing risk and second hand smoke is a proven risk. So these get put into most safe co-sleep guidelines.

The gudelines specifically for safe sleep sharing are based on ways to avoid actualy observed or commonsense based risk factors.

You are doing great, Whining is allowed. I suggest, Find room in your life for occasional naps and remember babyhood is short.

[@llli*apifera]

So what I'm picking up here is that I really should stop looking at how MUCH sleep I'm getting or not getting and just get what I can and still survive. I think my thyroid levels are off which is making it harder for me than it should. My PP visit is next Wednesday and I'll be surprised if they're not. So I just need to try and keep that in mind and try to cope.

Last night baby simply did not want to sleep. I have a cup of coffee in the AM and sometimes a can of soda later on in the day and so far they've caused no problems- but I DID have a rich brownie before bed... I'm wondering if it's a food sensitivity like chocolate or milk because when I say he didn't want to sleep I mean he was bright eyed and bushy tailed the ENTIRE NIGHT and we're just wasted this AM. DH didn't go to work because he's too tired to drive. Thank goodness he can work from home.

Meg: That's a very good point RE SIDS. I read the other day that the paranoia about bedsharing in the western world started in overcrowded cities among the poor, where parents who couldn't afford to have children would intentionally overly their babies and the Catholic Church issued a statement banning parents from sleeping with their children. I also have to wonder how many of these supposed cases are poorly reported and perhaps there's not a phenomenon after all.

[@llli*mommal]

The statistics on SIDS and co-sleeping suffocation are really, really dodgy. For example, a lot of the suffocation deaths that are coded as having been caused by co-sleeping are actually caused by unsafe co-sleeping, e.g. co-sleeping in an upholstered chair or on a couch, or having an adult other than the mother co-sleep with the infant, or co-sleeping with an adult who uses tobacco, drugs, or alcohol, etc.

The old name for SIDS was "cot death" or "crib death"- kind of by definition, it was something that took place when baby was sleeping alone.

Definitely get your thyroid levels checked! They can go really whacko in the postpartum period. Even if you're typically hypo, you can go through a hyper phase- and that can definitely throw off your sleep and make you anxious.