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Thread: 3mo wk1 old baby not eating

  1. #1

    Default 3mo wk1 old baby not eating

    My son is 3 months and 1 week, and refusing to eat from a bottle. My husband who is the primary caretaker is having a hard time quieting him down and feeding him. We've tried coming up with multiple solutions to no avail.

    We tried multiple different kinds of bottle/nipples, warming up the nipples, brushing his upper lip with the nipple to imitate the breast, different feeding positions, trying to feed him when he is cuing that he's hungry before he starts to cry. We've looked at the list with tips from LLL, as well as other parenting books and sites, kellymom, pretty much anything we could get our hands on, we've read and tried.

    When I leave home, he is happy and smiling, but a few minutes later he bursts into tears and cry pretty loudly. My husband is doing the best he can when it happens, and only I can do so much from work except go through a list with him to see what he has and hasn't yet tried to help calm him down. Generally our little one falls asleep just because he has cried himself to exhaustion.

    What else can we try or do to make the days I'm at work better for the both of them? We've also tried morning walks (which worked for about two days). It's been about 2 1/2 weeks since I've gone back to work and I know it's stressing out my husband because he feels like there's nothing he can do to help him.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: 3mo wk1 old baby not eating

    Hi, welcome to the forum!

    It is so challnging when baby is refusing the bottle after mom returns to work...but it sounds like bottle refusal is just part of the problem? Or do you think if baby starts taking the bottle baby will be happier? Of course, a happier baby may take the bottle more readily!

    I assume excess lipase changing the taste of your expressed milk has been ruled out?

    How long are you are work each day? Anyway your baby can be brought to you at a lunch or other break times? This can give baby and momma a needed 'reconnect' and caregiver gets to get out of the house...

    Has your husband tried cup feeding? (info below)

    Or paced bottle feeding (info below-this involves cue feeding but that is only part of the technique)

    Does your husband wear baby in a sling or carrier when walking or at other times?

    Does your husband have someone he can call or get together with? Hours alone with an unhappy baby can be very exhausting. Heck, hours alone with a happy baby can be hard and feel boring and lonely. Women tend to make a point of socializing with other moms (playdates, parkdays, playgroups, classes etc. but daddies unfortunately do not do this as much. It can be harder for a dad to find this kind of support but some playgroups welcome dads, years ago I belonged to one that did. It can be very helpful. Dad can always call your local LLL Leader as well.

    If you have read everything and tried everything, I can only suggest, keep trying the same things. There is no magic bullet in such situations. Time will almost certainly improve the situation. Presumably your baby will adjust, as of course most babies do. But your baby being miserable without mom is normal. Biologically speaking, mom is life to a baby. Your baby loves & needs his daddy but mom is different. A baby is naturally going to have anxiety when mom is not there until he adjusts to this new reality and knows he will be ok without you.

    Cup feeding: Video (note mom is exposed on top, video was taken during a lactation consultation: http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...me=vid-cupfeed
    Description : http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...ename=doc-F-CF

    I like this Cup feeding description written by a very experienced IBCLC who has talked many a caregiver dad off the ledge...

    Some babies will slurp / lick / lip a soft warm cup of mom's warm milk and find
    it interesting ... in my experience, cup feeding works best when bb is alert, happy and playful : )

    Gently - slowly - easily touching the cup to babies bottom lip and then smiling
    and nodding --- good baby ! slowly take it away and repeat. Its' important to
    show baby calm acceptance of his/her willingness to allow the cup to tough the
    lip !

    Then ... when that is ok w/ baby, slowly tip the warm milk so it touches the
    baby's lip or tongue - what ever is there. Avoid pouring milk in ... then,
    smile, nod ... see how bb reacts. If it's ok w/ baby, leave the lightly touching
    cup resting gently on the bottom lip.

    Repeat, with a tad bit more milk seeping onto babys lips and tongue. STOP if bb
    turns away, arches or otherwise says STOP .

    OK ... may have to wait an hour or so before trying again ... No rush, no push,
    no sign of urgency .. I know this is hard - very hard - but important to avoid a
    resisting baby ...
    Paced bottle feeding: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfedbaby.pdf

    Fussy baby ideas: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...ybabyideas.pdf and http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

  3. #3

    Default Re: 3mo wk1 old baby not eating

    Hi, again lilmeg! Thank you so much for all your help.

    Yes, lipase has been ruled out.

    I am at work for 8 hours, sometimes less, and he could be brought to me during breaks but I am unsure of how well he would travel (my husband doesn't drive) while in that mood.

    My husband did try cup feeding once but it ended up with milk on the baby. I will suggest to him to try that again, and to watch a how-to video along with the video you linked.

    He wears the moby wrap when going for walks with the baby. Unfortunately he can't put our crying/fussy baby in the moby because he wiggles and fights against being in the wrap that makes it dangerous.

    I have been trying to convince him to meet a local stay-at-home-dad group that is close by and active. It's hard convincing him that it's a good idea for the both of them to get fresh air. I think he is worried that once he is out of the house and the baby starts crying like he does, he might end up on the receiving end of people staring at him and make him feel worse than he already does.

    Yes, he just currently rotating through everything possible everyday to see what works that day. I hope baby will learn to adjust. It's just been about 2 1/2 weeks and it hasn't gotten any better. Should there be a point in when I should worried that it might be something more than me leaving?

    I'll give him the resources you provided. Again, thank you so much.

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