Moving to a new house and 18 month old to own room?

[@llli*allynpsych]

Hello All,

My husband and I will be moving to a new house in Aug (hopefully) and we're considering whether to move our 18 month old daughter to her own room. She still wakes anywhere from 1 - 3 times each night for nursing and we often cosleep a part of each night. However, if she falls asleep nursing I can usually get her into her crib next to our bed, where she'll sleep soundly most of the way through the night, especially if nothing wakes her. I'm thinking that being in her own room, might make that easier as our noises when we come to bed or move during the night won't wake her.

I'm debating whether it would be easier for her/better for her to put the crib in our new room at first so she can have the comfort of being near us until she gets used to the new house and then move her to her new room, still bringing her back to our bed for nursing if she wakes, OR, if I should just start her off in the new house in her new room, also bringing her to bed with us for nursing if she wakes.

Just to be clear, I don't mind night nursing or cosleeping...that doesn't mean I'm not very happy when she sleeps all the way until 5am...but my husband and I would kinda like to get our room back and not have to be silent and keep the lights off when we come to bed for some "private time", or just reading in bed together, etc.

Any ideas or suggestions from BTDT mommas or others?
Thanks!

[@llli*longtalltexan]

I completely understand the desire to have your room back after bedtime. For at least 18 months my clothes ended up in a pile on the floor because I didn't want to wake our DS with the creaky closet door in our bedroom.

What happened with us was that at around 21 months, he started asking to fall asleep in his own bed in his own room. (We had a mattress on the floor for him.) He would start the night there, we'd resettle him in there if he stirred before we went to bed, then we'd either move him to our bed when we went to sleep or we'd bring him in when he next stirred. (We have yet to make it an entire night with him in his bed solo, but we're in no rush. We're a cuddly family.) Also, DH and I agree that whichever of us got up to resettle him in his own bed would inevitably end up sleeping the rest of the night in there, since we're way too tired to stay awake long enough to come back to bed.

All of this is to say that it really depends on your kiddo. How has she been with other big changes in the past? Does she enjoy new situations? If so, you might just go for it -- a new house will provide an easy reason why the arrangement is changing. If she's more hesitant, you might ease in more slowly. And she might start telling you what she wants soon enough!

Also, things will likely flow back and forth for a while. Our DS had a winter of illness, and his sleep preferences were up in the air during that time, even though he'd started to want to fall asleep in his room. You just never know.

Good luck with the move!
Jennifer

[@llli*filmmommy]

I think you could set up the new room, at least somewhat, and start transitioning her in there. We've had DD sleep in her room for the first portion of her sleep (anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours, usually!) since she was about 6 months old. We just got her a double bed, and I've been staying with her until she falls asleep, and then I go to do chores and chill out until she wakes up (again, 45 minutes one night, 2 hours the next). We've had some success (easier with naps), but also illness and starting daycare at the same time, so she just came to bed with me last night when she was upset. If you have the space, I think it's nice to introduce kids to the idea of their own room and own bed, even if they don't take to it right away and even if you keep co-sleeping the whole time.

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

I think that moving to a new house would be a great time to start off with a new room. We moved our kids to their own rooms, after cosleeping in our bed with us all night long - at 14 months for the older one and 8 months for the younger one. BUT I would nurse them to sleep in their room and then join them after their first waking - and like filmmommy said - that could be anywhere from 45 minutes to two hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. We got a full size bed for Lilah with a comfortable mattress so I could sleep easily in there for her, and then with Trixie, we moved her into the guest room. It was nice to get our room back for the first part of the night, that's for sure!

[@llli*still.here]

I would definitely give the new room a shot. Let her help pick out sheets/blankets and maybe she'll really get into the idea of having her own space (I know my daughter did when we made the move to her 'big girl bed'. BUT I'd probably try to set things up so that I'd be comfortable sleeping in there sometimes. Meaning, get a normal sized bed or a mattress on the floor. My daughter's first bed was a double sized futon mattress on the floor and it was really amazingly comfortable and I felt safe leaving her there.