BFAR advice needed

[@llli*mrsredhead]

I got a nipple shield and used it successfully for the first time tonight! My little guy latched right on to the damaged side, and stayed there for about fifteen minutes. I am pretty sure he was at least getting some milk, since he didn't pull off or get fussy, so that's good!

That's a good idea for pumping while he's with me. When I met with the IBCLC she didn't have any ideas about how to pump with him laying with me, so I'm grateful that you had a good suggestion! I'll try that tomorrow.

Thank you again, Meg! I really appreciate all of your help.

[@llli*maddieb]

Anytime! Please keep us posted on how things are going.

[@llli*elliemommy]

Not sure if this would work for you but when I pump and Ellie wants to stay with me I do it in bed. I put pillows behind me so I can sit up comfortably. I sit cross-legged and plop her in the circle my legs make. She usually cuddles into my calf. Sometimes I will put a thin pillow under her and straighten the leg of the side I am pumping keeping her head cradled in the bend of my leg on the opposite side. This way she can kick and move around a little but she is still contained and happy she is close to me. I couldnt do both sides at once this way since I didnt like holding the bottle over her head once she realized hitting it was fun

[@llli*mrsredhead]

Elliemommy, that's a pretty good idea too, and I think I could probably do that on the couch too, since it reclines. Thank you!

Just to update on everything else, I did end up renting a scale, and I'm going to do daily weighs, because with my personality I think it'll be helpful to me to have new information every morning.

Also, when I met with the IBCLC on Monday, she suggested cutting out the formula supplements and keeping a close eye on his diaper count, since he wasn't getting a ton of formula anyway. Tuesday and Wednesday we didn't use any formula at all. He did get a bottle of pumped milk each day, at times when my breasts were just aching from nursing all day, but I feel really good about not doing any formula! His diaper counts have been just fine, the same as they have been the past few weeks. I'm excited!

[@llli*mrsredhead]

Okay, I need more advice and some reassurance.

Yesterday was a really rough evening. I nursed all evening, which was fine with me. I then pumped around 9:30 because it had been about an hour since he nursed last. Of course, right after pumping he got hungry, and so I attempted to nurse him. However, he kept scratching my breast with his nails, which was hurting and stressing me out and I'm sure inhibiting my let down. He also kept pulling off and crying but then giving hunger cues. I kept trying to put him on the breast for about half an hour, and we both just got more and more frustrated. Finally, I went and changed him and then had DH hold him while I went to the bathroom and cried for five minutes. He was still showing hunger signs and crying when I came out of the bathroom, so I broke down and have him 2 oz of formula. He calmed down almost immediately after getting that bottle, and eventually went to sleep.

Also, last night when I changed him, I noticed crystals around his penis, like salt crystals. I have read that this is a sign of dehydration. They are clear, though, not red or orange like the brick dust urine.

All in all, I'm worried and confused. It seems once again like maybe he's not getting enough from the breast, due to the situation last night and due to the crystals. The crystals have continued today. But he does pee a lot, and usually has between 9 and 11 diapers a day.

I am so confused and lost. I just want him to be healthy and happy and thriving. I feel like a failure for giving him formula when I had been doing so well with just nursing and giving expressed milk. I feel like my body has failed me and my child, and I feel like a failure as a mom.

Advice? Opinions? Is he dehydrated? Do I need to supplement again?

We have an appointment with his doctor on Monday to check his weight, but I wanted to get some other opinions first because his doctor tends to fall back on formula.

[@llli*zaynethepain]

Are you sure it's not smegma on his penis?

[@llli*mrsredhead]

Are you sure it's not smegma on his penis?

Well, he was circumcised at 2 weeks, so I don't think so. The crystals are very grainy. How would I know if it's smegma or if its from his urine?

[@llli*mommal]

The crystals could also be from his diaper, if he's wearing disposables. Possible?

[@llli*mrsredhead]

The crystals could also be from his diaper, if he's wearing disposables. Possible?

He is wearing disposables, so that may be a possibility. Why do they cause crystals? Is there any way for me to know for sure what it is?

I'll definitely ask his doctor on Monday. I'm glad to know it might not be a sign of dehydration though.

[@llli*maddieb]

Are you using disposable diapers? I remember from my two boys that sometimes the absorbent stuff in disposabel diapers forms little hard-ish forms that can look like clear crystals, however, iirc they do not feel hard but more squishable if you squish them between your fingers. (?)

Of course you want to check with your pediatrician if you suspect dehydration, but a baby who is peeing alot does not sounds dehydrated to me. How are poops?

One difficult nursing session (or even several) does not equal a breastfeeding problem. Babies fuss -sometmes quite strongly, for any number of reasons. I promise you that even 100% healthy, happy & thriving babies fuss and cry and scream, get frustrated, angry, appear miserable etc. with some frequency. If you continue to be worried about if baby is getting enough, I would suggest calling your IBCLC for guidance. There is some reason she felt confident your baby no longer needs supplements, so whether to reassure you or to update her on changes that may indicate a potential issue it is important to keep following up.

tip: cut those nails way down and file them with an emory board when baby is asleep. There is nothing quite like the razor-edged claw effect of newborn finger (and toe!) nails.

I am so sorry you are feeling so down. I can only assure you that whether or not a mom breastfeeds (or exclusively breastfeeds) her baby does not in any way measure success or failure as a mom. There is way more to mothering, challenges you will meet brilliantly and probably, some not so brilliantly- that you cannot even imagine now as you hold your dear sweet newborn in your arms. I guess I am trying to say mommyhood is hard- you are NOT a failure but feeling like one is prettty normal. Tears in your situation are very normal, but I do suggest, if you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed, please talk to your doctor, take it from a mom who ignored her own ppd symptoms, it is better to get help sooner rather than later.