Re: Baby now refusing bottle...
My daughter refused bottles too, it was very stressful. Hearing that if she gets hungry enough, she will eat was not helpful for me, nor was it really true. Did your baby react the same way to formula bottles as she did to breast milk? I had excess lipase, which made my milk taste like vomit - it was digesting itself - and I didn't realize it until Lilah was a year old.
However, one thing that did help was time. She went from refusing all together to grudgingly drinking enough to get by. She was sort of content at the beginning to watch the big kids at the babysitter's house and would just cry if she saw the bottle. My DCP cup fed her for a few days. She would offer the bottle and if Lilah started crying, she would just stop offering immediately. I wish I had figured out that it was a lipase issue much earlier, I think things may have gone differently. She nursed all night long and I figured that some babies sleep through the night - even up to 12 hours - from a very early age and so if she didn't drink any milk while I was away from her, that it would be similar to that. Another thing we did was used the fast flow nipple. Clearly I didn't have to worry about breast refusal and this way she didn't have to do any work to get the milk into her mouth. It basically dripped in.
With my second daughter, we used the playtex drop-ins for a long time and my babysitter would actually squeeze the bag while Trixie was drinking so that the milk would come faster for her. We used newborn flow nipples with her the whole time, but it seemed like she needed to know that milk would actually come out of the bottle.
I'm sorry mama. It's so hard and upsetting when you have a baby that refuses to eat while they are away from you. I hope you get to a place where she will drink enough to be happy while away from you soon.
Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months