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Thread: my baby wont sleep without breast

  1. #11

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    I don't know of anything else to try, except CIO, which I can't do. I wish there was an answer, I am very desperate for one, that's why I am trying to find out if anyone has thought of something I haven't. Thanks for your advice though :-)

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,471

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    My husband can't help at night because he needs to sleep to get up for work at 6am.
    And what exactly are you doing all day and what time do you get up?
    Look, I get it. With my oldest, I would creep out of bed when I heard baby stir (we were not bedsharing at first, discovered it later) and tiptoe into another room so as not to disturb my husband because he had a demanding job, and I was "just a mom." But finally this was not sustainable. I asked for his help, and he was glad to give it. It meant a tiny bit less sleep for him and a happy wife.

    If your husband will/can not help, can you bring in a friend or family member a couple nights a week who will?

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    29

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*amyann View Post
    If I try to take my breast out of his mouth, even when deeply asleep, he usually wakes up crying frantically until I give him my breast again.
    When you have to remove your breast have you tried very quickly replacing your nipple with your thumb for him and pressing on the rough of his mouth? You can then slowly reduce the pressure of your thumb, and then slowly draw it out.

  4. #14

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    Hubby's out of the question, and I don't have my family nearby, as we moved recently, so haven't made any real connections yet....
    I can get my breast out sometimes without him stirring, but he usually wakes up shortly after crying again for my breast, it's the only way he can get back to sleep.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    312

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    It sounds like baby won't take a pacifier and only wants you at this point. I know it is both tiring and worrisome to you...but it's very normal! I used to get pretty distraught as well, but once I realized this is what most breastfed babies do, I felt a lot better about dealing with it.

    My baby is very similar to yours. Usually I have to nurse her back to sleep 4-5 or more times a night. Sometimes much more. (we bedshare)

    I understand that your husband has to work, but if you can't function couldn't he help a few nights per week, especially on a weekend night if he's not working? Did he say explicitly that he wouldn't? If not, I would definitely ask. Taking care of a baby and an older child all day is just as tiring as a job where you'd leave the house, it's more like 2 or 3 full time jobs rolled into one! What if he just took baby for an hour or two a few nights per week in the middle of the night if baby is up?

    does baby like movement? My baby will sleep if my husband walks her around, sometimes. She used to sleep in her baby swing a little bit, but not so much anymore.
    and Mama to two little girls

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,471

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    Have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has many tips for dealing with nighttime parenting that do not involve cry it out. It is not a system or schedule. Just ideas.

    You know, I am having insomnia these days; my husband has been out of work for months, so I am worried. Usually I can sleep right through my baby daughter nursing but these days, if she wakes me, or I wake for any other reason, I may be up for hours. Have you considered if your inability to sleep while co-sleeping, or during the day, even when you are exhausted, is related to anxiety or depression? It can be really hard to be raising a baby and a teenager without the close support of your family nor (it sounds like) enough assistance from your husband.

    What time do you go to bed? My baby tends to sleep better in the early part of the night, so when I am struggling with not enough sleep I make myself (it is hard) go to bed "early."

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,885

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    i went to bed around 8 pm for my DS's entire first year, and spent about 12 hours in bed every night, the same hours he was there. as he got older i started to be able to either sneak away a little in the first sleep session (what a miracle that was!) and/or to sleep so much better that i could stay up and do computer work or watch tv (with headphones) for the first hour or two.

    what about having your 13 yo try to put baby down for a nap in a carrier or sling? that's how many babies sleep, and would at least give you a break to relax.

    ps - i didn't mean to sound snarky before, it's just, people had given you lots of suggestions and it seemed you were dismissing them all out of hand. obviously none of us live your life so we don't know what you've tried or what your routine/family is like; sometimes if you have a gut feeling about what might help, but can't figure out how to implement it, we can help you brainstorm.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    rockford,il
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    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    IME the only real solution is time. Like auderey said above, ds also naturally just began sleeping deeper and longer between 8 mo-1 yo. I always went to bed early with him and napped with him. I know you have the thirteen yo also and it's likely she hasn't made a lot of friends yet either but if she has, can she spend one or two afternoons a week at a friends to give you time. Is there a sport or summer camp in your area she'd be willing to attend? I understand if she's not able to put baby to sleep. Ds has never allowed anyone else to put him to sleep either. Trying always made him so worked up that it ended up being double the work for me to calm him.

  9. #19

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    I was looking into that book, maybe I'll get it. And who knows maybe I do struggle with some depression and anxiety too. I usually go to bed when Joshua goes to bed until he gets up in the morning. No worries Audrey, I understand, I am not offended...Sometimes it's hard to communicate properly on here. What did you do for nap time? Zaynethepain-Thanks for sharing your story, I guess I might have to just wait it out...is it normal that he wants to suck even while asleep?? That's really the only thing that is difficult.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    NY
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    585

    Default Re: my baby wont sleep without breast

    It is normal for baby to want to suck while asleep, yes. My girl is eight months old, and is definitely a latched-on kind of sleeper, too. I had a lot of trouble sleeping through that at first, but have gotten much better at it with time. I definitely go to bed with the baby and stay in bed with her all night to maximize my sleep. Also, I found that the more I stressed about my sleep, the worse it actually was, so I eliminated all clocks from my room. Once I stopped keeping track of how long I was awake overnight, I was sleeping better.

    Can your husband at least watch the kids for a couple hours on the weekend to help you catch a nap? When baby is awake and not hungry, of course! It might help just to get a couple of hours of unlatched sleep! Hang in there.

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