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Thread: LO refuses to nurse during the day

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    4

    Default LO refuses to nurse during the day

    I posted here a while ago asking some advice, and at that time DS (then 7 weeks old) wasn't nursing, period. We had a very rocky road with breastfeeding in the beginning, and by the time he was 2 weeks old I was exclusively pumping, and offering him the expressed breastmilk in a bottle.

    Now, my nipples are healed enough that I can tolerate him latching and it is no longer painful on the rare occasion that he will breastfeed. It is my goal to get him back to mainly breastfeeding (he will have to be bottle-fed some days as I am now back at work).

    For the past week I have been able to nurse him all night without a problem. He does tend to fall asleep pretty quickly during his feedings and doesn't empty my breasts all the way, so I end up having to pump at least once a night, anyway (since I have been pumping so much I am very paranoid of losing my supply if I don't thoroughly empty my breasts).

    However, LO (he's ten weeks old this Saturday) outright refuses the breast during the day! I have tried skin-to-skin, I've tried taking him into the bedroom, shutting off the lights, and laying back with him like I do at night. Nothing works! It's gotten to the point where he tenses up and starts fussing as soon as I position him near my breast. If I persist, it usually ends up with him screaming so hard he chokes/gags himself, and me getting very stressed at seeing my baby boy so upset! Then, when I have no choice but to use the bottle, I feel like I'm just setting our progress back even further!

    I was wondering if anyone might have experienced something similar? Can I do anything to help ease my LO back to the breast? I have come to highly cherish those rare moments when he will nurse -- I love the feeling of cradling him against me, and being able to look down into his eyes he's nursing, and seeing the way his lips will sometimes quirk up into a smile even while he's eating! I'd love to be able to breastfeed whenever I'm with him, I feel like it does wonders for our bonding.

    Thank you in advance for any advice you may have!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    41

    Default Re: LO refuses to nurse during the day

    I am so sorry... It's so hard when they refuse what we know will comfort them and give them what they need! My little guy sometimes screams at the breast when he's overtired. I found that I need to make sure I don't get too tense and stressed about him not eating, because that makes it worse. So if I start getting frustrated, I often will have to say something out loud to help keep things casual and relaxed-- like "it's okay, baby--it's here if you want it, but if you don't that's okay." I think I need to hear myself say that, and I think he somehow "gets it" too when I tone down my frustration. Speaking in a soothing voice aids in feeling more relaxed. It's frustrating when they won't feed, but we honestly can't force them to, so I found I had to be truly okay with him choosing not to at that moment, and that kind of takes the pressure off. Hope that helps a little!

    (I've also heard that sometimes baths together help?)
    Last edited by @llli*reading.mom; July 12th, 2013 at 09:27 AM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: LO refuses to nurse during the day

    Thank you for your response! That's a good idea. I do get pretty stressed/frustrated and I'm sure he senses that. I'll have to work on keeping calm and relaxed. A friend suggested I have a glass of wine before breastfeeding to help relax.... do you know if that's okay? Have ypu heard of that working?

    I have heard that baths help -- how does that work? Am I supposed to try to nurse him while I'm in the tub? How far would I fill the water up?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,761

    Default Re: LO refuses to nurse during the day

    Just get in the bath with baby and play with the water. Keep the water low enough in the tub that you feel comfortable having baby in there with you, maybe have someone else hand you baby once you are in. It's the relaxation that the bath encourages and the total nekedness and easy access that may encourage baby to nurse or at least show interest in your breasts. Free of expectations, your breasts may look like fun bath toys!

    Bringing a reluctant nurser back to the breast often takes time and patience. It is AWESOME baby will nurse so well at night. This is a big victory you can now build on. I know it is hard but just keep trying and be super patient with yourself and baby.

    Remember comfort nursing often comes first, and babies nurse better when calm, not too hungry, not frantic.

    This article covers many of the ways to help baby back to the breast. Keep trying all the ideas and what you are already doing-what did not work yesterday may work today.

    http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Salt Lake City
    Posts
    86

    Default Re: LO refuses to nurse during the day

    I wonder if all of your pumping has created an oversupply problem? Perhaps the oversupply isn't as bothersome at night, but is upsetting your baby during the day? Here is the article on oversupply:

    http://www.llli.org/faq/oversupply.html

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