My son is now 3 weeks old and bfing has been a challenge from the begnining (he was a little bit early too). First he was tt (so we finally had his frenulum clipped yesterday). I also have somewhat flat nipples (so I wore those shells for about a week to try to pull my nipples out--and I think they're just find actually). He had reflux so we gave him Zantac and then switched to Prevacid when that didn't work. Gas? He's taking mylicon... but I just finally recently realized that the issue was me all along.
I didn't think I had an oversupply but it seems I'm definitely producing more than he needs and my flow is too fast (he can't handle it). I've started block feeding over the past three days (and I was pretty engorged at first but it seems better now), nursing uphill when possible (I guess he hasn't gotten used to his new tongue so his latch is not perfect and it works best when I'm sitting upright--and my somewhat flat nipples probably don't help) and trying to collect milk in a burp cloth when I think it's coming out too fast.
I'm also upset at the lactation consultants at my hospital because if it wasn't for the fact that they pushed me so hard to bf every 2 hours 20 minutes per breast, I don't think I would be producing so much now (should have listening to my mother).
Anyways, I'm feeling very guilty about how miserable I make the lo. Should I just give up bfing and start pumping exclusively instead and give him bm in a bottle?
He is my first (and might be the only) child and I really wanted to have that bonding experience you get through bfing but looking at his face when he pulls away from my breast screaming is just heartbreaking. I don't know if I can take it any more.
I've overcome cracked bleeding nipples, dealt with horrible clamping and I don't want to give up bfing now but I feel so shelfish.
He's been gaining weight nicely but the gas pain, horrible reflux, choking and gagging when nursing, and spit up (which sometimes looks like projectile vomit to m) make him so miserable (and me as well).
I could use some advice and support here.
I feel like I'm doing everything I can (I'm afraid to pump, even a little bit as it seems to just increase my supply). I also don't seem to have a letdown per se... it's like the milk is always just flowing. As I'm typing this message, I'm in tears because I'm so tired and those first 3 weeks have been both the most wonderful (because my son is the most amazing thing that ever happened to me and my husband) and the hardest of my life.